List of Prominent JW Urban Legends...

by Tuesday 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • dissed

    Okay, I promised myself not to share this spooky urban legend but......

    The setting: At a convention (1973?) in LA

    A person involved in spiritism was invited and attended the final day of the convention. He was aghast at what he was seeing.

    Looking at the speaker, he could see demons had surrounded him and.....were trying to get him. Yikes!!

    He asked the JW next to him, "Do you see that?!"

    The witness replied, "No, see what?!"

    "The demons are all around the speaker. They are snarling and clawing at him, but they can't touch him. Its like there is some invisible barrier protecting him!" (He must have been wearing those speacial inviso-demon-revealing glasses)

    The JW looked, but saw nothing.

    And the speaker who got such protection when most JW's never get any?

    Nathan Homer Knorr

    Now, doesn't that give you goose bumps??

  • oldlightnewshite

    Heard one about a broke-ass JW couple (that narrows it down) who were about to lose their house because they couldn't make a mortgage payment or somesuch nonsense. The congregation all prayed for them, and as the rest were all broke-ass, this should suffice (instead of making a collection). The young dub couple owed £276.98. The day they were to be evicted they received a rebate for something in the post. How much was it? £276.98! Jehovah works in mysterious ways! Wooooh!

    Heard another good bullshit story, which is my personal favourite.

    An old sickly brother goes to field circus meeting, and complains he doesn't feel so well. A new publisher says not to worry, and that he'll finish off the few houses on this old guy's map. He suggests the old guy goes home to bed. The new dub goes and does this map, and when he knocks on the last door, a shifty looking chap invites him in, saying he wants a bible study. The fresh dub walks into the kitchen, and is surrounded by a gang of baseball bat-weilding thugs who say they are going to teach him a lesson for annoying them every week. The new dub puts the whole lot of them in the hospital. Turns out he was a 5th Dan in Tae-Kwon-Do before he found the 'truth', and opened a can of whup-ass on them. Jehovah saved an old git, and sorted out some evil worldlings in the process.

    I hear the sister with the 2 angels story so often it makes me want to puke.

    I think the Sparlock video will probably spawn a whole load of new evil toy urban legends among the jittery dubs.......groan

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    Of course, another famous one that I remember was delivered from the podium at conventions in the 1970's was when JWs who serve in lands where the work is outlawed (there's versions for Malawi, USSR, Nazi Germany, etc) are caught red-handed in an apartment or vehicle LOADED with contraband Bibles and WT literature, and the Police are seemingly prevented from see it, even though it's right under their nose. It's a kind of Angelic Jedi mind-trick ("these are not the special pioneers you're looking for") sort of thing, although this was before the movie came out (which is spooky, in and of itself: another fulfilled prophecy!).

    We also had the one about a real estate transaction, where the Society wanted to sell the convention hall in a down real estate market. Fortunately, a billionaire from Texas (think of a T. Boone Pickens, Ross Perot stereotypical Texan oil tycoon, wearing a 10-gallon hat and cigar) calls long-distance to the brothers handling the transaction, and offers them whatever price they name, as he really wants this specific property, so they make a tidy profit.

    YHWH has to intervene in human affairs to make sure the WTBTS turns a profit, right?

  • 144001

    I remember one about a condemned man waiting to be executed in Japan. After he was sentenced to death, JWs preached to him in prison, converted him, and he was such an example for everyone that they even threw him a luncheon before executing him.

    The problem with the story? Once you are sentenced to death in Japan, you disappear, and no one, not even your own family, can contact you. Neither JWs nor anyone else are permitted to visit with condemned inmates in Japan.

    The crap they come up with . . .

  • 00DAD

    The most Prominent of all JW Urban Legends is ...

    ... JW's have the Truth.


    I heard if you drink Dr. Pepper and pop-rocks while watching the Smurfs, Jennifer Love-Hewitt's butt will appear in your closet and you will hear the song " Crystal Blue persuasion" which is about the " Truth Book". I am going to try that tonight.

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    Serena & Venus Williams are JW's

  • ZeusRocks

    One my grandmother told me on the Gold Coast. A woman was studying and attending meetings. She had previous been involved in spiritism. Demons use to bully her all the time and she could see them waiting for her outside of the kingdom hall during every meeting, but once she got baptised they all went away and never bothered her again.

    I swear, JDubs are demon crazy. I think they have demon stories for just about everything.

  • Bangalore

    Great stories.


  • Rattigan350

    The NWT is the most accurate Bible translation, however that is a subjective statement and can not be used on Jeopardy.

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