wife took it pretty well i guess...it's over...

by oompa 110 Replies latest jw friends

  • wantstoleave

    I'm so sorry Oompa :( ((hugs))

  • InquiryMan

    Feeling sad too, but it will be better ... Your mother is in pain too...But you did the right thing.

  • oompa

    "where else could i go away to" but you guys here who understand this?...i have taken great comfort and strength knowing that so many of you picked yourself up from the bowels of dispair and made it to a much better place

    I do appreciate all the support and encouragment on this thread, but that is not what i was after, and thanks for understanding...this is not a pity party, just a sad reality of what has happened as a direct result of me "changing my mind" about a faith, and actually having and stating my own opinion about things important to me

    yesidid...thank you for thinking about my wife...the subject line is about her as well as the first two paragraphs...and yes i was thinking about her as well as me and am consumed with simpathy for her, and yes it has been hell for her for three years too in case i did not make that clear...anyone here who does pray, please pray for my dear wife......she was miserable in this marriage and her seeing me move on mentally, socially, and spiritually, and wanting no part of it has caused her serious depression...if you could have seen her the day after i went to a halloween party...crying all day and staying in bed...except when she went to the hall and cried the entire time...you would probably understand...she could not help herself start quoting "the article i read just yesterday about he pagan origin of haloween and how displeasing to jehovah you are"....i could have snuck out of my own home AGAIN to attend a fun non-drunken function with nice people, but instead chose to let her know where i was going, who i would be with, and put on my fun home-made costume before i left....i can not keep hurting her like this, nor leading a double life at 48 and have this insane notion that i should be able to share things like who i am, thoughts, and dreams with my wife....

    And thank you palmtree...i would kick ass if anyone bashed my wife here...she at this point in her life can not help herself...i know why she thinks the way she does, and am not bitter....

    and babayaga...you nailed it....and the moment with my wife so so sad, yet so calm...there was a kind of relief that filled the room a little bit through all the grief...neither of us need a pity party as in the long run we should both be happier...and we should have the right to be happy even though there will be much pain and discomfort adjusting to such a big change in both our lives...

    she deserves to grow old with someone by her side at the meetings, and i had every intention of being that person to the end...some people here can just go through the motions of that for years, and i guess i did too...but when it became a health issue for me....deep depression and turmoil just being at the meeting or out in a ministry i knew to be a total sham and farce, i could not endure it, and i can not endure the pain i keep seeing etched into her soul now..........she is truly a wonderful woman..............oompa

  • sacolton

    Giving candy to kids dressed in costumes and meeting with neighbors is displeasing to Jehovah?

  • oompa

    sacolton...if she thinks it makes me birdfood....then i am birdfood..............oompa

  • purplesofa

    Happy for both you and your wife.

    Both are coming closer to real truths in your life. I am not talking about "JW truth"


  • hotspur

    Hi Oomps - as soon as I saw you as Marty Feldman I knew I could relate to you. I've always had time to read what you say.

    Sorry you've come to this - but only for the immediate pain and grief. Purps hit the nail bang on the head. There is nothing like coming to face the reality of the truths you're both now facing.

    I was down this path 5 or 6 years ago..... man it hurts and really bad. But - there is an end.

    Now, in 2009, I'm happily remarried and between us my new and I have 7 kids and 7 grandkids (only three kids have springoffs so goodness how many we'll end up with). My ex-wife is getting remarried this weekend and, according to our daughter, is laughing - she is happy. I would not deny her that even after all the grief she caused the whole family.

    As for my JW mum - tougher! She has come to the realisation that I'm still her son. I've made it plain she has a duty to her god to recognise her son and as such she speaks now. Even then it was convoluted argument over Agape Love and Unconditional Love. I can tell you it's been a long, hard graft.

    Don't give up and enjoy your new start. I believe Churchill said about the Battle of Britain - "It's not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning" - from here on is your start.

    I'm with you Oomps - for the whole journey.

  • Magwitch

    It's not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning" - from here on is your start.

    Wow - what beautiful advice for most of us here.

  • isaacaustin

    Oompa, it is not a definite thing they will df you right? Since yo don't go they may just allow the fade?

  • WuzLovesDubs

    Oompa honey...gawd...I am SOOOOOO feeling this. I wish I could give you that hug you didnt get from your dad. There isnt anything more mind numbing and paralyzing than the pain this organization has caused in our lives...and when it takes away from us everything we love so dearly.

    No matter how much I try to remove myself from their influence...its like a flesh eating bacteria.

    We love you here oomps.

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