According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally

by JWinprotest 110 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Pistoff

  I was in a congregation where it was public knowledge that a jealous sister had been beaten by her MS hubby, son of an elder.

  The elders went to war, for and against the MS; the CO stepped in it too, saying that he had a girlfriend just like her once and the best thing that could happen was that she would go off and get herself into trouble. I kid you not; this is what he told the elder body.

  Within 6 months, the sister was GONE; the MS and ALL the elders were removed by: you guessed it, the CO and special committees. He sent in one special committee to find out any issues with one of the elders in particular, no information.

  A second committee was formed, this time, SURPRISE, an enemy of one of the elders accused him of choking him. The elders allowed the complainer against the elder to remain anonymous, preventing any rebuttal. This complainer, a gossip and a complete incompetent, was made elder within 6 months.

  It really was the perfect storm: stupidity, incompetence, and a completely corrupt CO
• 

  Jim_TX

  "The study mentioned that if one decides to legally separate for this reason they are not free to remarry."

  When I got seperated from the ex-wifey - I got a lawyer to handle the divorce. He asked me one time 'Did you ever hit - or physically mistreat - to your wife?'

  I was puzzled at this - as I was pretty easy-going with her - and the marriage - and I told the lawyer so. He said, 'ok' - he just had to ask.

  In retrospect... I feel that the ex was spreading all sorts os 'He mistreated me' lies - so that she could have the 'free ticket' to get re-married.

  I don't care... it's just another lie that they have to live with. Negative karma.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  JWinprotest

  In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else make up again.” (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.

  Here is the paragragh from the book that states that the abused spouse is not free to remarry if she leaves her husband for abuse. It mentions extreme situations and then the following paragraphs classifies abuse as an extreme situation. So those are a woman's two choices.....stay and get the crap beat out of you, or leave and spend the rest of your life alone. Noooo the society is not influencing a woman's decision at all (sarcasm)

  Meanwhile, the abuser after being disciplined by the elders, which may be disfellowshipping or it may be the removal of the priveleage to carry the mics, will once again be considered a valued member of the congregation after a few months and have his pick of the many 35+ year old single sisters in the cong, because he did not ask for the divorce. If I am wrong someone please correct me.
• 

  Pistoff

  So in a nutshell:

  Your husband or wife has sex with someone, you are free to leave and remarry with no shunning.

  Your husband or wife BEATS you physically, NOT free to leave and remarry, you WILL be shunned.

  THAT is enabling and condoning violence to mates by not allowing the marriage to dissolve properly; shame on you governing body.

  P
• 

  babygirl30

  nearlyfree

  Congratulations on taking ACTION!! That is exactly my point...I really believed that no matter what my 'fellow JW' did to me, that it needed to be kept INHOUSE and that taking legal action against a JW was the equivalent of drinking a glass of blood = WRONG!!!!! I knew of and witnessed numerous couples in congs where the man was a tyrant. Dude had some low paying manual labor job, they had more kids then they could support, he was 'gunning' for a cong title (MS or eleder), and he was mean to his wife...and yet he would climb the spiritual ladder, all the while, his wife look slike she got run over by a truck at every mtg. So back then - that kind of relationship was acceptable. Didn't help that my own parents were dysfunctional, my father was emotionally/verbally abusive and my mother is emotionally disturbed (and codependent).

  OF course when it happened to me, and I had the chance to either take a stand against abuse or let this JW walk away as if nothing happened, I decided to take a stand and go to court. WON too!!! I don't care who knows what he did to me, I don't care if every JW that has ever known me or knew OF me knows what happened - I can rest at night knowing I said "ENOUGH" and was not about to let any other person (man, elder, parent, friend) abuse me. You need to recognize the POWER you gave yourself girl!!!!!!!!
• 

  babygirl30

  Pistoff

  I have heard stories LIKE this numerous times before...where a situation that the elders SHOULD have handled properly ended up needing to have the CO get involved. But, unfortunately, that is exactly what happened to ME...when the elders botched my abuse case, the CO got involved personally, and the more that came out of the wordwork on HOW the brothers were NOT properly dealing with my ex (despite all court documents proving him guilty) - it was the cruel things the CO said to me in the end that was the final STRAW. That is when I made the decision not to go back to mtgs and haven't since.

  Corruption is SUCH a strong word...but when you really LOOK at how things happen and how JC's really don't handle things properly (and w/o loyalty to each OTHER or to their own egos) you see just how corrupt things can get.
• 

  blondie

  Meanwhile, the abuser after being disciplined by the elders, which may be disfellowshipping or it may be the removal of the priveleage to carry the mics, will once again be considered a valued member of the congregation after a few months and have his pick of the many 35+ year old single sisters in the cong, because he did not ask for the divorce. If I am wrong someone please correct me.

  So why would the ex-husband be free to remarry just because his ex-wife got a legal divorce? Neither one is considered scripturally divorced or free to remarry. If his ex-wife had committed adultery, only then could he remarry "scripturally."
• 

  Son of Man

  So why would the ex-husband be free to remarry just because his ex-wife got a legal divorce? Neither one is considered scripturally divorced or free to remarry. If his ex-wife had committed adultery, only then could he remarry "scripturally."

  ---

  Please define fornication Blonde because you mentioned "scripturally" divorced......

  9 “And the kings of the earth who committed fornication with her and lived in shameless luxury will weep and beat themselves in grief over her, when they look at the smoke from the burning of her.

  t.f.d.s.
• 

  Pistoff

  Corruption is SUCH a strong word...but when you really LOOK at how things happen and how JC's really don't handle things properly (and w/o loyalty to each OTHER or to their own egos) you see just how corrupt things can get.

  This CO made the comment to one elder that the brothers in the new area were not very generous; the elder anonymously gave him $500. The CO guessed wrong who gave it to him, buddied up to the elder who was very solicitous to him.

  The CO hooked the entire body to get at one elder in particular, one who would not back down from telling the DO and New York about his comment that the sister should just go away and get in trouble. The elder wouldn't and was not only removed, but blackballed from being used for years, even after moving across country.

  He really was corrupt; when you lie and manipulate with the congregation and abuse your power, you are corrupt.
• 

  creativhoney

  the sad thing is that women who let their partners beat them, love them too much to leave anyway.

  I dont think thats what its saying, that its ok to beat on your wife, but I think the pressure to stay in marriages that dont work, or to cheapen yourself and have casual sex just to find a way out of your marriage is very saddening. if people could just seperate due to extreme incompatibilty, then they would save themselves a few judicials. mind you they would have to be at home with their wives more then..