I am SO PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need to Vent!! (page 5)

Perry

How on earth will that kind of treatment ever encourage anyone to turn to Jah.

Did you ever think that the real purpose of disfellowshipping isn't to get people to turn to Jah?

Finally-Free

Brooklyn is far more guilty than the M-I-L , since that is the source for countless family disintegrations, not just this one.

Each person is ultimately responsible for their own actions. My JW mother didn't shun me because she had what comes naturally to any normal person - natural affection for her offspring. (You know, the same natural affection any dog, cat, bird, or swine would have for their offspring, but which seems to elude most JWs.) Watchtower directives and influence did not prevent her from behaving like a normal person. The only reason the watchtower gets away with directives like this is because the individual JWs allow them to. If every JW stood their ground on this issue the watchtower would either be forced to back off or lose half its membership. I sometimes think most JWs like the shunning policy.

Since the person in question here went beyond watchtower directives, I have to assume she is a naturally hateful person who intentionally causes distress for innocent children. Banishing someone like that from ones life is not an act of vindictiveness. It's an act of self preservation.

W

Lady Liberty

Wow!! Thank you ALL so very much!! I appreciate all your advise and words of wisdom. I appreciate each and every one of you even though you may have very different opinions from one another. My heart goes out to those of you who have been hurt by those you love in a simular manner.

I feel much better today. Sitting here, having my coffee, reading all of your replys makes me so greatful to have this forum of unconditional friends. (((HUGS)))

I was thinking how funny it would be to post on Craigslist the experience with a title such as WARNING...BEWARE OF LOCAL CULT WHO DESTROYED OUR FAMILY!!!!!

Or take out a ad in the local paper, or the local freebie paper. Heck maybe I will do all three!!!!!!!!

Again, thank you all...

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

yknot

It is alway hard to discern whether cutting toxic family members off is the best versus trying to pave the way for 'rehabilitation'.

MIL sounds desperate and embattled, which is not uncommon considering all the 'shifting' of interpretation on top of time continuing to march onward.

I like the anonymous letter, perhaps even in the form of a greeting card.

Perry I appreciate you wanting to remind us that a kinder, gentler, and more loving approach probably would be best in the end and I assure you most of us are just venting right along with LL. Venting is always a good way to blow of the steam of the situation giving way to more calmer, rational responses. I can imagine that her MIL deep down inside is just another very damaged human being.

All in all of course the person who matters most is LL's precious and impressionable daughter and we all know LL and Hubby are great parents who will do what is best in her interests.

ahhh ain't venting therapeutic!

Perry

Each person is ultimately responsible for their own actions. My JW mother didn't shun me because she had what comes naturally to any normal person - natural affection for her offspring.

Finally Free,

This is an abusive comment to others who do not share your experience. It implies that other mothers who shun do not have affection for their children. It is arrogant of you to imply this. Further, it is false.

I know for a fact that JW parents who shun their children grieve a great deal. I've seen them cry bucket loads of tears. It is because they are not grounded in the bible, and are DECEIVED, that they go along with this hideous practice.... not because they don't care. The "strong" ones will tenaciously do this "to bring the wrongdoer to repentance". The ones that shun the most obediently, may be the ones who "love" them the most and would do anything, in their mind, to help them get back on the road to life.

Perhaps your mother, doesn't "love" you enough to shun you. Ever thought about that?

journey-on

Lady Liberty...I understand how you feel. What I don't understand is how a grandmother, even a hardcore JW one, could treat their grandchild the way your MIL has treated your daughter. I have to think it is more than just this woman adhering to her religious dogma. She sounds like she has a personality problem and is just plain mean. Your daughter is probably better off not knowing her. At 15, it really is too late, imo, to have a close relationship with this woman anyway...valuable bonding time has been lost. Does she have a close one with your mother? Just curious.

What would really bake her noodle and make her realize what she has thrown away is seeing her beautiful granddaughter walking affectionately arm-in-arm with her other grandmother! If she doesn't feel a twinge of sadness at her own lost possibilities, well, she just doesn't have a heart...period. Hugs for both of you, LL.

Lady Liberty

Dear Journey On,

Yes she is SO much better off not knowing her! The woman has brought more heartache and pain into my life in the 24 years I have been married to her son then you could ever imagine!

And YES, thank goodness she has loving caring Grandparents on my side who love her dearly! It kills them to see how her other Grandparents are treating her. My mother tells me all the time what a shame it is and how much they are missing out on. And she is SO right!! I pray for the day she sees my Daughter and Mother together arm and arm like you described. It's only a matter of time, and she will!!

Thank you for your kind words.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

LL, Perhaps an ad something like...

"Replacement Grandma Needed for Lovely 14 year-old girl, must be non-Jehovah's Witness--not gleefully looking forward to the destruction of 6 billion people including innocent teenage children, encouraging education and self-improvement, able to bake frozen cookie dough, ability to text-message optional. Again, Jehovah's Witnesses need not apply."

Lady Liberty

LL, Perhaps an ad something like...

"Replacement Grandma Needed for Lovely 14 year-old girl, must be non-Jehovah's Witness--not gleefully looking forward to the destruction of 6 billion people including innocent teenage children, encouraging education and self-improvement, able to bake frozen cookie dough, ability to text-message optional. Again, Jehovah's Witnesses need not apply."

Dear Billie,

That is a PERFECT ad!!!! I may just use it!! LOL!!

L.L.

Quandry

Quandry,

Wrong, wrong wrong. All that would do is reinforce the victimhood of the grandparents and create another victim in the daughter.

Not really. When my teen daughter was df'd, she was extremely depressed. I went to the guidance counselor at the school (elementary) where I work. First, it was theraputic for ME to talk about it, and then I was asking for the name of a therapist who might be able to help my daughter.She was visibly upset at the things the elders had said to my child, and was angry.

I wish I had encouraged my child to go to her school guidance counselor, but wasn't thinking straight because of the things that had happened to my family.

I wrote a letter to the superintendent of a huge Houston school system, explaining what had happened to my child, and what other witness children in his district could be going through.

He personally visited me at my school. He was very upset to know what had happened, and thanked me for letting him know.

The poor child here may be depressed at school thinking about the horrible way she is shunned by grandma. A counselor could help her to see herself as a valuable person, and just be there to listen.

I am SO PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need to Vent!!

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