Am i correct?

by angel eyes 121 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Phee

  Hrmmm....

  I was 'born in' and I can't really say one way or another whether it was 'better' or not.

  My father was a 'cool' JW and my mother was an irrational JW (and still is). I think it really depends on your social situation and family dynamics. My father being 'cool' allowed me to see the realities in the world and be a logical thinker, while my mother didn't approve, she allowed it to continue because my father was 'the head of the house'.

  My father didn't do 'family study' with us because, in his words "They get enough from meeting preparation and having to set through it on meeting nights..." My mother hated this! But I understand what his logic was....Why cram it into our heads even more when the society does a great job?

  I was also raped by a MS while 'in' and it was brushed under the rug.....I was also raped by a family member that was also a JW... Both cases dissmissed by the KH 'authorities' and not dealt with by the police. I believe that was another disadvantage to being 'raised in'.

  I was one of the lucky ones, when I left, my family still treated me as though nothing were different. That's where my father's 'cool' side really shown through. He would say "You're still my children and my obligation and I love you no matter what you choose." Not your typical JW answer. He believed he would be 'blood guilty' if he left us out on our own like the society said to do. He was couseled by the elders and he told them flat out that he would not shun us. (all 4 of us kids left)

  I'll tell you, that display of fatherly affection and Christ-like love is what has kept me a believer in Christ to this day. I believe my father had a lot figured out even if he didn't share it with us. (He passed away almost 7 years ago) Those types of people that show mercy and love and forgiveness are true Christians and true humanitarians. Showing love for thy neighbor, family and friends...regardless of religion, race or age, is what I will choose to mimic. Not the parroting, hoping-every-one-else-will-die-so-I-can-have-their-house-after-armageddon, self righteous, adult and children abusing and covering it up, cult minded, harrassing, you can never do enough, lying and misguiding BS of the people that call themselves "Jehovah's Witnesses".

  -Phee
• 

  LockedChaos

  Born-in and raised

  Your developed personality

  is that which is directed by

  the cult

  You do have an undeveloped

  (or under-developed) personality

  that is the real you and can create

  a dissonance that can be devestating

  in some

  YES

  Higher learning can drive one away

  Friends not of the faith can drive one away

  Learning the "Real truth" can drive one away

  Rational thinking can drive one away

  Religion IS a "Racket and a Snare"

  I'll take my freedom anytime over the

  CULT, thank you very much
• 

  Lieu

  Black Sheep, how could you?

  LOL ... I hated that book as a youngster. I can't recall a single good thing about it ... pure fearmongering.
• 

  monkeyman

  Ok, it’s been six pages but I have to jump on and go back to the original post.

  AE……….First, Are you aware that it is a disfellowshipping offense to come to these websites, let alone participate in them??? It puzzles me the amount of time you spend here.

  I am an active JW and I come here at my peril. Why? Because I enjoy the honesty, brutality, history, and sometimes vulgarity of people that I share a common background with. It’s oddly refreshing.

  I was raised in the Truth and like ATJ and many others here, I had the goal of being an elder since I was very young boy. I would sit in horrendously boring meetings and took notes in my Bible so that I would be able to help others when the time came. Eventually I became a MS for 10 yrs and an elder for 14. The time had come for me to utilize all that I had labored for all my life.

  Then a Nazi body of elders removed me for a reason I won’t post for fear of identification. But safe to say it wasn’t for a sin. I had merely violated one of their pet peeves. After that people that respected me and sought me out for help and counsel lowered their eyes and avoided me on the street. I and my family continued to be treated in a brutal and thoughtless manner by the elders.

  This treatment caused us to become introverted and isolated for self-preservation. I developed some negative lifestyle habits in order to cope with the unimaginable pain. I could go on and on with shocking example after example. But I won’t.

  Now I ask you, who am I going to talk about that with??? You can’t talk negative about the elders to fellow JW. Most people wouldn’t believe me anyway. If they believed me they would lose THEIR respect for these brothers. No win situation. Professional help is frowned upon. So you suffer in silence until…………..

  I come here because I get comfort in writing about my own experience anonymously. I get comfort in hearing others whose stories are worse than my own. I get comfort in just hearing the Truth about the way things are and not the regurgitated bullshit propaganda from the ORG. I get comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one. I get comfort in reading how others give ones like me a reassuring word.

  The softball question you ask “is it better to be raised in the Truth or brought in?” is more for a car group of sisters out in FS on a Saturday morning. It’s not surprising you get the kind of response from those here. Some here are dealing with deeper more complicated issues that affect our faith.

  So I ask “why do you come here”? I’m not saying you can’t, but it’s still makes me curious. I was told to get off this site when I made my first post and I didn’t think that was right. I only expressed my opinion.

  It sounds to me that you need a friend. If you’re looking for companionship, why not call someone from the KH and go out and have a soda? Maybe study the WT together?

  But you can still come here and express your opinion, whatever it is.

  You just might want to rethink how often you express it and who you are asking it of.
• 

  garyneal

  I was reading through AGuest's words and it got me thinking about today at the Assembly hall my wife and I attended in Richmond, VA. I can't seem to place my finger on it but I swear the people there seemed a little, well, um, snooty. That never occurred to me before. Maybe it is because I've grown a bit accustomed to my new church that I have been attending recently where the atmosphere is so casual that it is a complete 180 from the KH's.

  I felt like I was the guy who would ask, "Would you please pass the jelly," in the commercial with the snooty people asking for the Pollaner's All Fruit.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xBydH93eDY

  I don't know. My wife spilled coffee on herself on the way to the assembly and we made light of it at lunch time with the elder, his wife, and one of the other brothers from her KH. Well, the comment I made was, she cannot sue the store because it wasn't hot enough. The brother just made a wierd look and said nothing.

  Close to the end of lunch, we met up with one of the sisters who was trying to conduct a 'Bible study' with my sister in law. This lady asked about my sis-in-law and my wife suggested she could come to our house when she moves in with us to perform a study. I then added, "...and don't forget to count your time!" While showing a thumbs up. Both my wife and the sister kind of shrugged it off, no making light of it or nothing. Guess I had a "please pass the jelly" moment.
• 

  GLTirebiter

  He would say "You're still my children and my obligation and I love you no matter what you choose...

  He believed he would be 'blood guilty' if he left us out on our own like the society said to do.

  He was counseled by the elders and he told them flat out that he would not shun us."

  Phee, be proud of your father! It took a real man, a real Christian, to stand up for his values in the face of such opposition. May we all follow his lead!
• 

  whatcanIsay

  It is strange! you can be raised as a JW then when the news one come in they are treated different! almost better. We the ones who were raised as JW well we should all know better.

  Here something you probably noticed as well overseer(do they still have them?) childrens are treated so special.

  You will even notice with some exjw because they were raised as elders children's they come across as higher up the ladder. Shhhh! they think they are special. It like they were at the meetings and they thought they were special now that they are exs they still think they have some sorta specialness!

  How many times have you heard my father is an elder or was an elder, blaah, blaaah, bla!

  I just feel sorry for elder kids although adults and way too old! Some still think eldership gives them certain status!

  Maybe that is what you are seeing! Not to mention the clicks!

  Elders are the ones in control! not the people.
• 

  isaacaustin

  AE, quick thing...you said: ones raised in the truth have a study all their life and then study with a bro or sis (when teenager) for 3 years or more...

  Ones who come in from the world study 5 months maybe a year i think some have....so yes ones raised are far more looked after. My opinion and others actually.

  My reply: For the most part, those born in only study with another brother or sister if their 'head of household' is not a JW. I studied with my dad, and that is how it would have stayed. The only reason they then had someone else study with me was to try to 'bring me back'.
• 

  Phee

  GLTirebiter Wrote:

  He would say "You're still my children and my obligation and I love you no matter what you choose...

  He believed he would be 'blood guilty' if he left us out on our own like the society said to do.

  He was counseled by the elders and he told them flat out that he would not shun us."

  Phee, be proud of your father! It took a real man, a real Christian, to stand up for his values in the face of such opposition. May we all follow his lead!

  _____

  GL,

  I am so very proud of him! Thanks! =)

  I don't think I could have asked for a better father. He did a few stupid things...like not go to the authorities when I was raped...But, I understand why. The org. makes really smart people do really stupid things! IMO.

  Perhaps his reasons were simple....he was also 'born in', had been DF'ed once before and knew what it was like to be ignored.

  But he did so many other things that I know some JW's would have gasped at! For one small example, if a b-day celebration was going on, he would wait while the song was being sang to whoever, and then have cake with everyone. If he was questioned, he would say "It's just cake that I'm eating that HAPPENS to be here, coincidently, on someone's b-day! There's no demons in it, get over it!"

  His bestfriend wasn't a JW, ever. In fact, his bestfriend was, and still is, the one person I've met that can substitute ANY word with the F-word...lol! But the man has a heart of gold, just rough around the edges.

  My Dad told the Elders off every chance he could get.... He loved watching his grandchildren opening christmas presents, birthday presents...searching for colored eggs...all of it, he thought it was "neat". He LOVED Christmas lights on houses and wished we could decorate ours...(Which he was couseled for cuz he said it in a car group out in service) ....etc...

  I guess it's why I didn't make a big fuss out of things and still don't. He took the mystery and demons out of everything.

  He did play along with the rules, for the most part, of being a JW...but he never let us forget who we are and to try and rise above the pettiness that is promoted among the 'brotherhood'. I could go on and on about him...the good, the bad and the ugly...My father was just a 'good man' to sum it all up.

  *sigh* I miss him terribly.

  -Phee
• 

  LouBelle

  No I don't think you are correct. I was pretty much raised in the faith and I can tell you now there are certain things that I'm so far behind in comparisson to my peers. I don't think it gives you a balanced view of the world - you cannot speak with authority if you haven't experienced certain things and thus making claims about certain things leaves you totally out of your depth.

  And since I am no longer one of Jehovahs' Witnesses - I can now make an unbiased comparisson.

  That is just my opinion.