Stupidest JW meeting answers (page 6)

NeonMadman

The answer was supposed to be Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego. --- The answer given by a child, "I shack, You shack, and Away we go!!!

I thought it was, "my shack, your shack and a bungalow".

sir82

Not quite as funny as the above, but...

There's a scripture somewhere that says "Let all your affairs take place with love", which got read as "Let all your love affairs take place with love..."

And I think the brother meant to say "hotbeds" when he said that "Universities are hot tubs of immorality..."

WT conductor asked: "And where do we get our spiritual food?" as he held up the WT. The PO stood up and grabbed the microphone and said, "The Bible" as the conductor dropped his arm. But then the conductor was only reflecting what he had read in the WT.

*** w99 7/1 p. 14 par. 9 Regularly Study God’s Word as a Family ***How helpful that can be! TheWatchtower contains the principal spiritual food that is provided to build up Jehovah’s people worldwide.

skeeter1

I remember one...I was about 14 years old and the Congregation was going over 'unnatural sex'. I was, naturally, listening to this talk. Though, I was still very fuzzy about what was 'unnatural sex' and I had absolutely no clue that they were talking about anal sex, which I didn't know even existed at the time.

Anyway, Sister Lutenberger (married to Elder Lutenberger), replied that this sort of 'unnatural sex' was like having sex on a washing machine. So, I had this wierd picture of her and her husband on top of the washing machine with the spin cycle on! Then, I immediately realized that the two must have had sex on their washing machine for her to make such a comment.

Anyway, now when I think of the JW "talks" on sex, I always think of Mr. & Mrs. Lutenberger breaking their washing machine! I am truly scarred for life.

Skeeter

AllTimeJeff

At the end of one book study, the elder asked if there were any announcements. A very ditzy unbaptized publisher who was about to be baptized said "Tomorrow is my birthday!"

She was a flake, and frankly, played the system, she wanted to get married to an MTS grad, and I think she eventually got him.

rebel8

Re John the Baptist resurrection....imagine explaining this to an alien who landed on Earth.

"Why yes, we do believe animals and plants die and have no afterlife. But there's a bearded sky spook who will reconstitute our atoms if we don't put dead trees in our homes in December, don't put our organs into other people's bodies until we've done a special initiation ceremony, read publications constantly, and don't wear beards like he does.

"He can reconstitute people even if they've been dead for 5000+ years-yes, he is quite powerful. Unfortunately, though powerful, he's a bit of a sadist. A chap who had his head chopped off because he worshipped the sky spook will be reconstituted without his head. His head will slowly grow back as he achieves perfection. The others who don't get reconstituted will be fed to a ginormous army of carnivorous birds. He is a glorious God, that spook, isn't he?"

JoJoJones

I think that the Jehovah's Witnesses' version of God, as taught them by the WTBTS, is so different from what God truly is, what He is truly like. This makes God ('Jehovah') seem like a rigid taskmaster, and He isn't. That is why He sent Jesus to us. I think that God loves us very much and wants us to be happy; He wants the best for us. As far as as a "stupid" comment at a Watchtower meeting, it wasn't really so much stupid as ignorant. A child said that children are born, (made, conceived) because of their fathers, with a little help from the mothers (nine months worth). Well, I suppose that was pretty funny, but I can't help wondering just how much JWs know about genetics, genomes, mitochondria, and so forth, because half of the 48 chromosomes that make babies comes from the fathers and the other half come from the mothers. It's 50/50, by gummy! And the mitochondria is passed down through the mothers, the females. Anyway, I wonder where this little boy got his information. His elder dad? Well, the sperm and the egg work together to conceive a baby. I think that JWs should be set straight about this. Grr.

Stupidest JW meeting answers