Can you Believe Some of the New Posters on Here?

by lifelong humanist 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • finding my way
    finding my way

    Farkel and AK-Jeff crack me up I'm so paranoid I remove my webcam from my computer unless I am actually using it ;) I'm not worried about elders...just that people will accidentally see me running around in Jammies.

    Thanks yellow. That's exactly my point. There seems to be someone on each post that can relate to something I've felt or am feeling!

    ~fmy

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    evil leavers

    That wording sounds strangely similar to "bees unmolested" and "happified". I think AK Jeff is a Watchtower troll, LOL!

  • AdaMakawee
    AdaMakawee

    Welcome to both newbies, I trust the distrust will be worked out. I'm an oldbie with a newbie name.

    Ada

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    When I was a JW and being stalked and harrassed by a group of "sisters", people in the Org. either 1) didn't believe me or 2) didn't want to hear that such a thing could be going on in "the truth".

    When I told my story here, no one called me a troll or doubted my story. ( Not to my face, anyways.....lol )

    It was the first real time I felt HEARD.

    My personal experience is that, it is hard to be a newbie here. Everyone seems to know everyone else already and it takes a while to figure out the technicalities and posting etiquettes.

    Let's give the newbies the benefit of the doubt until at least.........post #250 before we start calling them trolls.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    I can't even believe that Farkel and AK Jeff are elders. I should've known I guess. They both registered on my carbon dating meter....

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Seriously, LifelongFeminist Humanist has a whopping 58 posts behind its belt, so it has the experience to know a troll when it sees one.

    I think we should bow to that experience and keep our eyes open for demons trolls.

    I also happen to know that AK Jeff, AllTimeJeff and ANYONE name "Jeff" is a troll. It's in their DNA. The modern word "Jeff" comes from the medieval word "Jif" which was the evil god of the peanut farmers in ancient upper Mesopotamia. "Jif" was a small, ugly prankster than was known to have turned entire peanut crops into crops of string beans when he was angry. It has been rumored that he became so angry in later times that he incarnated into Jimmy Carter and wreaked havoc wherever he went. Still does.

    These are FACTS. So don't trust anyone named "Jeff". It is the anglicized name of evil itself.

    This is all Bible-Based(tm) and I can prove it, provided I have the right Bible in my possession.

    Farkel

  • Joshnaz
    Joshnaz

    Ok this is getting out of control. You learn to listen to people who REALLY know what they're talking about. I, for one, trust what Flipper says he's very nice to new people like myself, while others still think they are on the debate team in Middle School.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff
    These are FACTS. So don't trust anyone named "Jeff". It is the anglicized name of evil itself. This is all Bible-Based(tm) and I can prove it, provided I have the right Bible in my possession.

    Farkels Bible

    Farkel 1:1 "In the beginning, god forgot his universal translator on the Enterprise..."

    Farkel 2:1 "....and you must clear out of the land all Jeff's, for they piss me off. I don't know why. Do I need a reason? I am god Farkel."

    Farkel 3:16 "For Farkel loved the world so much.... oh, who am I kidding?"

    Farkel 4:23 "Rutherford ain't Elijah... just trust me on that one...."

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    AllTimeJeff,

    Your Bible was corrupted by Jif, the evil one. Nothing you say can be trusted.

    Farkel

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Like CT Russell, who hosed down the hellfire doctrine, Farkel evidentally debated the Jif thing long ago under the name "Skippy", thus taking the nuts out of Jif.

    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Skippy-Jif_Peanut_Butter_Debates

    The Skippy-Jif Peanut Butter Debates of 1858

    [edit] Background

    It was a time of conflict for the United Spades of America. One union, once so united and cohesive, was being torn apart over an issue paramount to the union's existence: peanut butter Consistency. As new states entered the United States, one persistent question permeated the states' admissions, "Chunky or smooth?" The house divided on this key issue on the basis of both moral and economic prejudices, leaving many to question the union's real endurance. On one side, the Smooth-Staters, primarily Northerners, favored a National Smooth Peanut Butter, as the additional required processing would ensure stability for the large mechanized factories and economy. The Chunkys, from the South, found that Smooth Peanut Butter could be manufactured much more easily with the small, low-grade imports of FrenchPeanuts, which would endanger Southern agriculture. The chasm dividing the nation could not be filled by the sweet nutty butter alone.

    [edit] The Debates

    Two bright souls, Abraham Skippy (a Smooth-Stater) from Illinois, and Stephen A. Jif (a Chunky) met in a series of debates to decide the issue of Peanut Butter and the rights of the staes to a principal known as popular sovereignty, the idea that states had a right to choose their consistency of Peanut Butter.

    [edit] Famous Quotes/Points

    • Skip formed an argument of state's rights, which strongly coincided with the individual rights of the states, whereas Skippy argued for a United consistency, one in which the states and nuts lost their individual identities to serve a greater good.
    • "Peanut Butter is not the only question which comes up in this controversy. There is a far more important one to you, and that is, What shall be done with the free peanut?" ~Stephen Jif.
    • "A jar divided cannot stand. I believe this nation cannot endure permanently half-smooth and half-chunky. I do not expect the Peanut Butter to dissolve - but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other." Abraham Skippy June 16, 1858

    [edit] Outcomes

    Skippy formed a compelling argument for uniform consistency, one that ultimately gained a firm rooting and popular support. The stunning victory allowed for Skippy to be elected President, however upon hearing of his election, the Chunky States voted for immediate succession, forming the Chunkfederacy. President Skippy demanded that the Chunky states be repressed into the Smoothion and sent Smoothion troops to fight in what would soon be known as the Peanut Butter Civil War. He later issued the Enutcipation Proclamation, which freed all crunchy peanuts from their nut shape in areas controlled by the Chunckfederacy.

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