ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh

by No Apologies 71 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow

    Another option, get a friend who has no scruples to seduce her and get it all on film.

  • frozen one
    frozen one

    As I suggested to you once before, NA, pick out a very expensive hooker but your ex has to pay for services rendered. Both of you would be participants in the fornication. Truly a win-win solution.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Where is Richard Gere when we need him?

  • ColdRedRain

    "Another option, get a friend who has no scruples to seduce her and get it all on film."

    Sorry, that friend with no scruples turned over a new leaf and is in a relationship with a fine woman.

  • willyloman

    I'm with the "do nothing" group. I think this might take care of itself in time, if she is really interested in the guy.

    Often in dubdom there appears to be a dilemma like this and next thing you know, a marriage is taking place - to the amazement of many onlooking pubs.

    The back story usually goes like this: the couple committed forni, went to elders, sobbed their eyes out, and were privately reproved - an elder option when the incident is not common knowledge among anyone in the congo. Then there's a wedding featuring a bride (sometimes a groom) who, as far as other dubs knew, is not "free to marry."

    However, this doesn't cause much lasting concern, as dubs have cognitive dissonance and are fully capable of holding two conflicting thoughts at the same time.

  • avishai

    Wait, get her on tape, or writing saying that, and you just may be able to have an atty. overturn the spousal payments, I'm not sure on what grounds yet, but....

  • Tuesday

    My letter would be as follows

    Dear Ex:

    I give you my full permission to marry whomever you would like to, however if you're looking for me to put in writing that I have fornicated since we have separated I cannot do that as I have not. Sorry to be an inconvinience.

    Thank You,

    Your Ex

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Wow thanks for all the responses. As someone pointed out, it is quite a quandary. But to address some of the suggestions, there is absolutely zero chance of her engaging in any kind of "loose conduct" with this guy or anyone, of that I am sure. I am actually surprised she admits that she has been talking regularly on the phone with this guy. She will never do anything that might be considered "improper" by JW standards. She's already afraid she might be "marked" - oh noes!!!

    Part of the problem is that I might have (hypothetically, of course) already told her she is free to remarry.

    I also agree that its rediculous that she expects me to play by the JW rules. I think its absurd that she feels constrained by their control tactics. I really would like to stand my ground, tell her the JW rules are her problem not mine. The only problem with that is I am too nice a guy, I really have no desire to stop her from trying to be happy. And then the money of course...

    For now, I think I am going to hold firm, she has to somehow meet me halfway. She hasn't even met the guy yet! There is no reason for me to be the one putting everything at risk.

    No Apologies

  • b17boss

    take the money and run ...........

  • ColdRedRain

    She'll fold like superman on laundry day if you give her enough time.

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