I was wondering how exactly I should wipe my nose... it appears that I require help in this area too, and think it would be a great new Awake! article. Also, it would probably be good to include the updated way of sneezing into the crook of one's elbow.
Thanks, and may the Sovergn Lord Jehovah continue to bless all your efforts in getting your readership up!
Dear Gentile Monkey
Did you know if you wrote letters to old people in nusing homes, you could count 10 hours a month and be a Ministerial Servant by now? Stop asking so many questions and start sucking up to the elders like a good little borg monkey.
Frankly, with all the downgradees in paper and printing quality we have put into place, we can't think of a better use for Awake then to sneeze into it, and see if the color bleeds into your jungle mucus. Don't sneeze too much, we don't want you to lose all of your brain.