in love with a JW (page 5)

oompa

tiffiny......what an awsome post........so happy for you!!!.........oompa........

isaacaustin

I can tell you from personal experience- it SUCKS! It is not worth it. Kids comlicate it even more. Get out!

reniaa

They do not df for marrying outside the faith they only disaprove of it. and considering how many on here are just telling jim to drop her they take a strictor stance than witnesses.

tiffiny would you provide proof please that you were df'd for marrying a non-witness?

its like people don't get df'd for higher education its just warned against.

Reniaa

isaacaustin

Correct, they do not df (or at least should not, per their own protocol) df for marrying a nonJW. Same with higher education.

But I would not recommend getting into it. Trust me you will alway be 2nd class to the org. it may not seem like that at first but if her mind is not completely free of the WT it will happen. I tell you that from personal experience. Get out of it now before you get deeper in.

knows better

i married and still am to witness. we were young and i didn't know enough about the religion. i would say follow your heart, but keep your eyes open. if your getting married with the hope of her leaving the jw's, then thats a wrong foot to start off on. theres a lot of compromise and its ALL on your behalf. period.. you give up alot, thats just plain fact. is it worth it.. thats a tough call to make. i have been married over 20 years and if i could turn the clock back. i wouldn't do it again. life is too short and you are always second to the org. always. i love my wife with all my heart. and i hate the witness religion just as much. its a lot to carry around.

outbackaussie

Reniaa, how exactly do you suggest I provide proof when you don't get a copy of anything from the elders? It is merely their collective word against yours. Nothing is recorded as far as I know. I am simply relating my side of the story, as I found it to be. I was not disfellowshipped for marrying a non-witness. I wasn't married when I was DF'd, I was just dating. The official reason for my excommunication was my unrepentant attitude, borne out by my unwillingness to break off my relationship with my boyfriend who was worldly. I was told to stop seeing my boyfriend or it will show I am hard of heart and not accepting of the reproof of the judicial committee. All I have from then is my diary pages and my memory.

We got married some months after I was DF'd, which was all part of my efforts to "prove" I was repentant of my alleged sin and ready to be reinstated to the congregation. So, you tell me Reniaa, what do you want to hear? Do you want to hear about the questions they asked me when I tearfully begged to be allowed back into the congregation? Do you want to know how I had to describe in detail the frequency and nature of the sex I had with my husband? Just what proof do you want about my DF, Sister Reniaa?

isaacaustin

Thank you for sharing outbackaussie. I had heard of cases such as your happening but never beleived it, as it was always third hand. I do beleive your words. Shows the complete totalitarian regime.

outbackaussie

@ isaacaustin - What is weird for me now, is that looking back, I am pretty sure I was not an isolated case. I know of at least 2 other girls in my circuit who had similar experiences. Maybe it was just a late-80's Australian quirk *shrug* but I know myself and my best friend were both DF within months of each other and reinstated about the same timeframe apart and both drifted away. And neither of us would have said we shared a similar experience at the time, the circumstances were different enough that we never felt we were being targeted or anything. Maybe we just had a bad bunch of elders. Oh wait.. that would be all of them.

**edited to add, I feel abit guilty for derailing the original thread.. but the OP really struck a chord with me, so apologies for being abit of a monopoly on the topic here.

isaacaustin

No problem. I think it added an important 'flavor' to this thread.

reniaa

I was reproved for something similar when younger witness I did not get asked loads of invasive questions they were straight forward I made it clear I was repentent and they left it at that.

My point with you was just to show that people can marry outside of the religion if they choose to and it is frowned upon but not a df-ing offense.

So I just wanted clarification becasue you said it was for that reason.

The sister being mean to you was wrong and I would have said something to her if it had been said about a sister in my hearing.

Reniaa

in love with a JW

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