in love with a JW

by jimcic 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • jimcic

    Hi im new here but i came for advice im not a religous person but i'm in love with a jehovahs witness,

    She says she also loves me very much but she wants me to jump ship and become a witness,

    Do you think there is some way that the two of us can be together or am i just dreaming,

    i am crazy for this girl i have been ever since i met her bout 3 years ago and i do believe she is the love of my life, she reckons we are prefect together but the JW dont allow it, is there anypart to the bible i can show her that says two people can live together with different faiths please i need help i cant let this girl go i love her so so much

  • oompa

    you poor poor thing......luv hurts......esp in your position........JW's believe you must "mary only in the lord" and they take that to mean marry ONLY another could aways agree to become one for her love, as long as she knows you really dont believe and will probably one in name only, and become very slack in the future....however, the one jw one not is a real pain.......she can have HER friends and you can have YOUR friends, but she will not want to hang with them because they are WORLDLY......anyone not a jw is WORLDLY and jws are not supposed to associate with them except for reason of conversion

    trust me......this is a painful place to be as i left the faith after 45 years and my jw wife is still hardcore.....she does not even agree to have our next door neighbor over for a cookout!!!.........says she has nothing in common with them since they do not worship jehovah, nor have the same hope and principles as me there are few other faiths that are soooooooooo judgemental of others in their own faith and EVERYONE not a jw..........btw..........a jw minister CAN NOT marry a jw if her mate is not one.......they call that assisting a jw to become "unevenly yoked".....btw....both the quotes in this posts are quotes from their bible.......and ya........they even have their own bible that says things they want it is not like most other bibles.........

    i feel your pain......i fell in love with a catholic girl right after high school......oh it could have been sweet, but could not convert her, and it was not long that she new i was pretty brainwashed and in a very controling religion (cult).....

    how hardcore jw is she?.......if she has doubts you might could get her out of this controling religion (they tell you EVERYTHING you can and cant do and you MUST comply or get kicked out and shunned by all friends and family forever.....that is the worst part of the faith)......there is a great website called and it will help you see the real deal about us.....i wish your gal would view it but they are forbidden to look at anything critical of them...the call that an APOSTATE she will not view it, you might could find if she has ANY doubts about her faith, then use the site to help crack it wider..........................good luck friend!!!............oompa

    and sent me a personal message using the letter icon in the top right if you want to talk or chat will have MANY questions.......

  • Chalam

    Hi jim,

    What is your faith?

    Here's mine...

    Matthew 16:26 (New International Version)

    26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

    All the best,


  • mouthy

    Oh JImcic. Please examine Crises of Conscience...By Raymond Franz.

    I am so sorry you are in love with a JW .But if you join her in that religion
    your in for so much hurt. I am sure she is a lovely gal. But she is not aware

    of the damage they do. If you had children & needed blood they would want them to die.
    You must attend all meetings, go from door to door,teaching lies,
    Please check every thing out carefully. You say your not religious.

    You are the very kind they entrap... I am so sorry to read your post.
    I know because I was one for 25 years. I did everything they taught.
    Do you remember Jonestown,.? Waco?You saw the people die....

    But with JW's they die one here one there,ALL over the world
    many.many more than Jonestown or Waco..
    Please I beg you in all honesty .Try to get HER to see this sight. Grace Gough.or just google my name get some info on the organization

  • reniaa

    I know Jehovahs witnesses that have married non-witnesses it is something that doesn't happen often but is only doable if you can totally respect each others right to your own religion and how it effect your lifes. Here are some questions you would have to ask yourselves.

    Can you handle her going to her place of worship?

    Can she handle you being in another religion or not having one?

    Can you handle her not celebrating various holidays and this being something she wouldn't want your children doing, or allowing you to do celebrate with your children but herself not being involved. making an effort to have alternate parties at different times with no significance tied to special dates?

    It boils down to the fact worship or lack of it is really a big part of our lifes so you need to lay the ground rules for the future and stick by them, maybe even write them down.

    here is a scripture that may help persuade her but remember this is not a decision made lightly for you or your children.

    1 Corinthians 7:14
    For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.



    Your in for a Shit Load of Trouble.......................Hang out here and read the storys......JW`s are a Cult.......No one deserves what many here have been through...............................OUTLAW

  • villabolo

    I suggest you learn as much as you can about that religion without becoming involved in it. Realize that she will withhold a lot of information about the Witnesses from you as will the rest of the Witnesses in the congregation until you are officially baptized.

    If you become a Witness and then change your mind about the most trivial of things doctrinal or otherwise you are in for a world of hurt. You will be shunned by all your Witness friends who won't even know or care to know why you were officially shunned (disfellowshipped). Just ask your girlfriend why she can't accept you for what you are instead of becoming a Witness. Is she in love with the man or with the potential convert?

  • PrimateDave

    Tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not converting because you cannot believe in a god that would kill 6 billion people, which is of course what every active and faithful Witness is currently expecting their god to do at Armageddon.

    Tell her you don't want to give up living a normal life with your friends and family, which is of course what every active and faithful Witness will expect of you once you join.

    Tell her you want to celebrate holidays and send your children to college, which are of course things that faithful and active Witnesses prohibit and actively discourage.

    Tell her you expect to live a long life and grow old with the one you marry, that you expect to be living in "this old world" thirty, forty, even fifty years from now, because there will never be an Armageddon as taught by faithful and active Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Ask her if she will leave the Watchtower Society for you. Tell her: "It's me or them."


  • carla

    Can you handle a group of old men controlling the following in your life? Your intimate sexual life with your wife, all your entertainment choices, what games you may play, possibly your employment, no holidays, no higher education, no God in your married life as the jw's will not allow her to discuss God & the bible with you unless you agree with all things jw (you would endanger her spirituality), your grooming habits, your clothing choices, no YMCA, would you be ready to let your children die at the direction of the elders?, would you be willing to NOT go to the police should your child be molested by a jw and have the entire matter handled by the elders and not inform anybody in the cong? Would you be willing to hand your brain over to them on a silver platter and promise not to do any independent thinking? Will you be willing to ignore past false prophecies and accept new false prophecies as 'truth'? if yes to all of the above, sign up for a bible study.

    If not, you have one hell of long road with this woman. Your life WILL be controlled by the wt whether you like it or not. You too will get the lovely label so many of here have, that of ubm (unbelieving mate). Doesn't matter if you believe in God or the Bible you will be considered ubm, worthy of death, birdseed, a walking corpse. Be prepared for her to lie to you on a regular basis, jw's are trained to lie and justify it by calling it 'theocratic warfare'.

    My advice to you would be - there are many fish in the sea, find someone who is capable of having a thought of their own and the courage to admit it publicly.

  • restrangled

    I wish my husband still posted here, he'd give you the low down. I am finally an x-jw, but I think he went through hell and back. Not so much with me, but with the inlaws.

    Are her parents JW's? Aunts, Uncles, cousins? If you are in love with this girl and want to marry her, you will also be marrying the family. It doesn't sound logical, but thats how it works in the JW world. They have the ability to make your life miserable.


Share this