My wounds opened up badly today (page 4)

Maddie

palmtree67, lancelink, baba Yaga, Bonnie_Clyde, Hope4Others, Satanus - Thank you all for caring and sending me your kind messages of support and love. It means a great deal to me to know that you are here for me.

Quandry - It seems such a vague hope right now that my son will ever break free from the hold of the WT and see it for what it is, but that is all I can do because nothing I can say or do seems to have any effect. I dream of my grand daughter running to me with open arms when she is old enough and I try to hang on to that.

Barbie Doll - I am so sorry for the pain that you went through with your grand children when they were younger, but am happy that you have your family back again now. Perhaps it will happen for me too one day. I will pm you, thank you.

Maddie

Didgeridoo - How are you doing my friend? I dont know whether my son has other issues or resentments. In the past we have had conversations about lots of things but I dont believe it was this that caused him and his wife to behave as they did. My DIL is responsible for not letting me see my grand daughter and giving the toys back. Thats not to say that my son isnt as guilty as he should stand up to her and do what is right. Take care of yourself.

JW daughter - Your suggestion of writing a letter to the local paper is a possibility I will think about because their behaviour is so bad. Perhaps it will make them realise that their behaviour is unnacceptable by anyones standards. Thank you.

fokyc

Hi Maddie,

This is just normal JW behaviour, I have experienced first hand almost the same!

We had 2 grandsons born in the early 70's, the father, my son left the truth and was disfellowshipped by his own father-in-law.

Some 15 years later I was at a Circuit assembly in Dudley when a friend of mine was talking with 2 lovely young lads, after they went back to their seats my friend asked why I didn't speak with the 2 lads, I replied that I didn't know them;

these were my own Grandsons, they were always confined to the circle at Dudley (which is an old cinema) just to make sure I never saw them.

The witnesses are lovely people aren't they?

fokyc

quietlyleaving

Maddie, I'm so sorry

sweet pea

My dear Maddie

So sorry to hear you're going through the mill. Your son and DIL have no idea how cruel they are being and how much you are hurting right now, that is the true evil that the WTS is guilty of - destroying people's ability to realise the harm they are doing to others. Causing enormous psychological damage to loved ones, in the name of loyalty to the Organisation.

I wish I was there to have a coffee with you and give you a huge hug. You can always be a second grandmother to our two little boys if you wish, seeing as they've lost their other one!

Thinking of you always.

Sam xx

flipper

MADDIE- My wife and I are so sorry for your loss- not only the ex-husband but especially your grandaughter. It angers Mrs. Flipper and myself that this witness " cult " even pretensiously claims to be considered " Christian ". There is nothing " Christian " about them. We wish you the best and truly feel for you. I am shunned as well by my 2 adult daughters and it is extremely hurtful- especially when parents like you and me try to show love in spite of the shunning- and what do we get ? More shunning. Sucks big time

Snoozy

Maddie you bring memories back for me also. Except I was the one that kept the grandkids from the grandma and grandpa.

I was a young mother and 20 years old when I started to study. I already had 2 kids and had a third shortly after becoming a JW.
The witnesses had me convinced that my parents(Being worldly) were evil and should not be allowed around my kids as they were not JW's..(demons and all that bull) you know the story...anyway that went on for maybe 2 or 3 years.
They did get to see the grandparents but not nearly as much as the JW grandparents. Holiday presents were refused. We had a talk and we agreed if they wanted to give the kids presents to do it on non holidays.

Well I was having problems with my middle daughter in school (as if being a JW wasn't enough) and we went for counciling.(A JW No No) The psychologist sent my daughter out of the room after talking to her alone and called me in. She then proceeds to tell me that my daughter thought that my side of the family was bad and my husbands side was good..My side was NOT a JW and his side was.My parents were in no way bad. They bent over backwards to respect our beliefs.And would never have done anything to hurt the kids. Well that was a wake up call for me..I no longer kept the kids from their grandparents and started saying only nice things about them around the kids. My daughter did get better..it's amazing how something like that can effect a kid, remember she was only t 6 or 7 at that time.

Imagine how a kid interprets a "Grandma and Grandpa" are bad thing and to go even furthur they are taught the world they live in is bad and so are all the people in it. How bad is that? Talk about warping a kids mind..

Thankfully I finally left the religion when they were in their teens and none of the kids stayed in it. They see the religion as it is..a cult. Many disagree with that but I really feel it is..how many religions make you turn your back on loved ones and teach you the world and all in it is bad. They are part of the world ..wouldn't they think they possible are bad also? What a thing to lay on a kid.

Thankfully also my parents lived to see me leave the religion and I bet my parents did some thankful crying behind closed doors..my Mom died before my dad so when he was really Ill and didn't have to long to live he told me that my joining that religion had hurt my Mom so much...she never let on, never complained to me, what a loving Mom. Sure beats the heck out of my cold JW MIL...

I couldn't tell my Mom and Dad how sorry I was enough...

Edited to add: The other thing I noticed was that my hubby and his JW parents were the ones that constantly ran down the Non JW relatives to my kids..and of course they were all on my side of the family..I didn't even catch how often they did that until after I talked with that psychologist. How sick...

Hittman

First off, condolences and sympathy. Many of us here have gone through similar things, and some people find at least a bit of comfort in that.

Concentrate on the fact that none of this is your fault. You are not acting inhuman here. They are. You have no control over them. Faceless old farts in Brooklyn have control over them, and until/unless they realize it they'll be trapped. As much as it hurts, you can't do anything about it.

They didn't have to give the toys back. That was just done to be mean.

It's worse than mean. It borders on evil. How did the kids feel about losing their toys? Bet they (she) never even considered that. I'm guessing this was done at the instigation of the DIL (what an appropriate abbreviation). It sounds like she loves to intentionally inflict pain. What a wonderful person.

Maddie

Just want to acknowledge everyone on this board who have cared and shared back with me - Thank you all for your support

Hittman - My grand daughter would not of known about the toys as they were still in the packaging in which I sent them and probably hidden away. I am devastated by it.

Snoozy - Thank you for sharing your experience with me and I am so glad that you got out of the WT and were able to restore relationships with your parents.

Mr Flipper - It is the worst thing in the world to be rejected time after time by our children who we love dearly. I know you have been trying for such a long time to get through to your daughters and I understand the hurt and frustration you feel. We have to be very strong to keep going. Right now I dont feel very strong though.

Sweet Pea - Its raked everything up again for me and its at a difficult time with my ex dying. Hopefully I will feel stronger in a while. Thank you for the offer, I might take you up on it!

fokyc - They really are loving, christian people!!

Quietly leaving - Thank you

rebel8

presented my husband with two big bags of toys and other things that we had given to my grand-daughter previously and said that it wasn't appropriate for her to keep them

How rude, petty, and childish.

My wounds opened up badly today

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