by TooBad TooSad 304 Replies latest members adult
@ Pilchard - "Until the 60's this was unlikely to have been much of a problem, or at least not recognised as such."
What, for real? Oral sex wasn't big until the 60s?
Sorry, but I highly doubt that.
Maybe it only became an issue among JW women because the WTS started writing about how dirty it is....
So in the bedroom women DO need to be able to go to someone if they are uncomfortable.
I as a woman I would never go to another man to discuss what I do in bed with my husband. I especially would not go to another man that is not a trained marital counsellor or a trained sexual therapist to discuss what I do in bed with my husband. I would not disrepect my husband like that.
The gist of this is it's a set up. The rank and file have been told that this is wrong, something that is normal sexual behaviour and within a marriage. Someone feels guilty and decides to bring the elders in. Tell me if this has happened with good results. From what I've read here on the board the answer to that question would be no - the marriage is compromised instead of helped.
When I was an elder I delt with many couples that were torn over the oral sex question.
I must say that it was always the wife that approached me, never the husband. What
usually triggered the wife talking with an elder is the wife reluctently gave the husband
OS and did so to make him happy. Then there would be a district assembly or a WT
article that delt with the subject and the wife would get guilt pains and feel the need to
talk to an elder. This religion is so emotionaly crippling that they always encourgage
the flock to talk to the elders when something bothers them. By the way, I think
that most elders loved comittee meetings that delt with sexual matters.
TooBad TooSad
in other words pilchard.......pish
If the husband would have reciprocated the wife might not have gone to the elders, but I could be wrong.
In the cases that I delt with, husband did reciprocate, however it just seems
like when it comes to sexual do's and dont's that the wife has a more sensitive
conscience.
TBTS
Guilt is a powerful motivator
Yes pilchard I tried to make that point, there are things I would refuse a husband but if they advocated these things completely he could use the 'should not be denying husband' scripture for acts I might not want to do. keeping it personal choice for the woman without advocation means as a witness wife's under headship we are protected.
Protected from your husband? Geez if you need a group of unqualified men to protect you from your husband you need not ever get married
Protected from your husband? Geez if you need a group of unqualified men to protect you from your husband you need not ever get married
Everyone is different and not everyone has the perfect relationship or the strength to tackle problems on their own. It is good that such ones have somewhere to go.
