*** w00 11/1 p. 8 par. 6 A Godly View of Moral Cleanness ***
6 What is meant by the word “fornication”? It comes from the Greek word por·nei´a, which is sometimes used to apply to sexual relations between unmarried people. (1 Corinthians 6:9) Elsewhere, such as at Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, the term is broader in meaning and refers additionally to adultery, incest, and bestiality. Other sexual practices between individuals not married to each other, such as oral and anal sex and the sexual manipulation of another person’s genitalia, can also be designated as por·nei´a. All such practices are condemned—either explicitly or by implication—in God’s Word.—Leviticus 20:10, 13, 15, 16; Romans 1:24, 26, 27, 32.
Form this we learn about pornea:
It is used within marriage ONLY to describe relations OUTSIDE of that marriage: adultery, incest, bestiality. So behaviour that is not "pornia" within marriage becomes pornia when performed with someone other than ones spouse.
Otherwise 'pornia' refers to various sexual activities OUTSIDE of marriage.
*** w83 3/15 pp. 30-31 Honor Godly Marriage! ***
Married Christians
How about sexual activity between married couples within the marriage bond? It is not for the elders to pry into the intimate lives of married Christians. However, the Bible certainly enters into their lives. Those who would “keep walking by spirit” should not ignore the Scriptural indications of God’s thinking. And they will do well to cultivate a hatred for everything that is unclean before Jehovah, including what are clearly perverted sexual practices. Married couples should act in a way that will leave them with a clean conscience, as they give unimpeded attention to developing “the fruitage of the spirit.”—Galatians 5:16, 22, 23; Ephesians 5:3-5.
The tone of the 1983 is strongly erring to the conservative side with respect to what God might find acceptable.
However this part of the article CLEARLY states that it is the married couples CONSCIENCE that is to be followed.
*** w83 3/15 pp. 30-31 Honor Godly Marriage! ***
What, though, if one mate wants or even demands to share with his or her partner in what is clearly a perverted sex practice? The above-presented facts show that porneia involves unlawful sexual conduct outside the marital arrangement. Thus, a mate’s enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, within the marriage would not constitute a Scriptural basis for a divorce that would free either for remarriage. Even though a believing mate is distressed by the situation, yet that one’s endeavor to hold to Scriptural principles will result in a blessing from Jehovah. In such cases it may be helpful for the couple to discuss the problem frankly, bearing in mind especially that sexual relations should be honorable, wholesome, an expression of tender love. This certainly should exclude anything that might distress or harm one’s mate.—Ephesians 5:28-30; 1 Peter 3:1, 7.
Here the 1983 article is focusing upon a mate who is UNCOMFORTABLE with what they are being asked to do in the bedroom
Not the scriptures used are about a husband needing to be LOVING to his wife? Not about sexual matters?
*** w83 3/15 pp. 30-31 Honor Godly Marriage! ***
As already stated, it is not for elders to “police” the private marital matters of couples in the congregation. However, if it becomes known that a member of the congregation is practicing or openly advocating perverted sex relations within the marriage bond, that one certainly would not be irreprehensible, and so would not be acceptable for special privileges, such as serving as an elder, a ministerial servant or a pioneer. Such practice and advocacy could even lead to expulsion from the congregation. Why?
Now here the 1983 article CLEARLY states that private marital matters are NOT to be policed. It mentions the possibility of expulsion. But NOT expulsion for what one simply practices but for PROMOTING such practices among the congregation. Obviously elders need to be safe from accusation so if it becomes KNOWN that a couple engage in this activity they would not be able to become an elder.
So if by YOUR conscience you feel it is okay you will not be judged. However if you encourage others to follow your lead in the GREY area then that would not be acceptable.
I see NOTHING in the 1983 rticle that changes the CLEARLY stated position from this 1978 article:
*** w78 2/15 pp. 30-31 Questions From Readers ***
Beyond these basic guidelines the Scriptures do not go and, hence, we cannot do more than counsel in harmony with what the Bible does say. In the past some comments have appeared in this magazine in connection with certain unusual sex practices, such as oral sex, within marriage and these were equated with gross sexual immorality. On this basis the conclusion was reached that those engaging in such sex practices were subject to disfellowshiping if unrepentant. The view was taken that it was within the authority of congregational elders to investigate and act in a judicial capacity regarding such practices in the conjugal relationship.
A careful further weighing of this matter, however, convinces us that, in view of the absence of clear Scriptural instruction, these are matters for which the married couple themselves must bear the responsibility before God and that these marital intimacies do not come within the province of the congregational elders to attempt to control nor to take disfellowshiping action with such matters as the sole basis. Of course, if any person chooses to approach an elder for counsel he or she may do so and the elder can consider Scriptural principles with such a one, acting as a shepherd but not attempting to, in effect, “police” the marital life of the one inquiring.
In short it seems that in 1978 the WT ruled that they should NOT interfere in the bedchamber but leave matters to the individual conscience of the wedded couple.
However they WOULD intercede if one of the marriage partners was being asked to do something that THEY found disgusting of distressful. If your unorthodox sexual practices became a public spectacle, you would NOT be considered to become an elder.
