And UGLY response to a Christmas Card! (page 4)

abbagail

I would love to have the father's nasty email read to a nationwide audience on Dr. Phil!

Not because I think Dr. Phil is the be all to end all, but he DOES teach the willy nilly men that end up on his show that it is ALWAYS their responsibility to stand up for their wives to their parent, and vice versa if it's the wife's parent.

I'm not fond of lilly livered men... knew one for tooooo long.

The FIL has a bad case of ego-arro-gance.

BizzyBee

How about, "Don't borrow money from friends or family"? Anything you do next will be wrong. It almost NEVER turns out well for either side.

horrible life

Quickly send him through snail mail, another personal news letter. Include every bit of dirty laundry you can think of. Even the kids picking their noses, to your husband not taking out the trash on a regular basis, wondering where he was raised, a barn?? Tell him, that he is the only one to get this newsletter, and you promise to keep him updated throughout the year, with every tidbit of info, and you are sorry for offending him with the special joys in your familys life.

LovesDubs

LOL! You guys are the best. Truly. I feel a lot better now. Because I refused to apologize for sending the man a Christmas card...my JW husband wrote him an ass kissing groveling email, which I will not put here, thanking him for the loans, and lessons my husband learned from his dad and how "selfish" my husband thinks christmas newsletters are and how he gets "Christmas shoved down his throat" every year...all in an effort to quell the hatred coming from his father. Never telling the man he was out of line saying those things about his wife. So...FIL writes back to him...

J -

I didnt say anything about asking for a THANKYOU letter, I resented that the only communication we got was the same newsletter that Joe Doaks got; not even a separate email to us with some little message. That probably infuriated me more than it should have. You werent raised by the kind of mohter I had. You can shit all over your mother (IMHO you do) and she will still love you. No protocols.

Sorry if I flew off the handle. I will try to look ath things from your eyes more.

I am sending the kids money, and you know I always try to see them at some point. I dont care what you say - money helps. Its not much help, I know, and it isnt meant to be a substitute.

Dad

*****

NO apologies for shitting on me though. None. I just got a card in the mail that said that this guy just bought a subscription to Consumer Reports for my husband...who doesnt DO Christmas, and is now sending money to my kids...which is nice...so he is soundly going to NOT send anything to me?? Not that I want anything EVER from this man again. So it will be interesting to see if he sends a disingenuous check to me. Since he doesnt know that I know what he wrote about me and what he REALLY thinks of me, if he sends me a check, Im gonna rip it in half and mail it back to him in a copy of the email he wrote about me. Lets him see how it feels to have his "gifts" rejected.

I love my husband, he is a product of his upbringing no doubt, and instead of confronting things he acquiesces. Honest to God, in 22 years, I havent spent time sitting with my father in law just talking. He thinks women are stupid, and being the neanderthal that he is, when meals are done he retires to the living room to watch football with the boys and lets the women do the work in his life. My mother in law cow towed to that man like nothing i have ever seen before. Before he dumped her, if we ate over there, she wouldnt even sit down to eat with us...she was constantly catering to him.

THAT buck stops here. I love that he tells my husband that he shits on his mother. This is the same man who was having an affair on my mother in law, allowed my mother in law to think there could be some reconcilliation, allowed my mother in law to come help him paint and decorate a condo on a lake he bought (not telling her it was his and his mistresses love nest and not HERS at all), went with my MIL on a weekend "romantic" getaway and got her pregnant at age 43, and then abandoned her to go live with his mistress when his new son was a month old, leaving her with no job, a newborn, and a retarded daughter to care for. He threw money in her general direction and that was supposed to make it all better. Apparently only HE gets to shit on my MIL.

Honesty

Do you really want to know what I think?

Good.

I think you need to leave that chickenshit no brains piece of crap husband that you have been saddled with for 22 years and while you're at it tell his dad to put the kid's end-of-the-year $ or whatever he calls it up his rectum.

Finally-Free

Shit, all this family drama reminds me of what I'm missing now that I don't have one any more.

There's too much damn peace and quiet around here now.

W

StAnn

Okay,

I bitch and moan about my husband (a lot) but I have to tell you what happened a few years ago.

My husband's mother undeservedly called me "that bitch" to my husband's face. We were living in an apartment and she was standing in the doorway, in the hall. His knee jerk response? He slapped her so hard that it knocked her across the hall and into the front door of the apartment across from us.

Now, I'm not suggesting that your husband hit his father, and my husband was so upset that he hit his mother that he couldn't sleep for three days, but....I was actually kinda proud of him.

That was in July. Then later that year said mother, who never apologized for all that she did and said, sent the children Christmas cards with gift cards in them! My husband opened the cards, gave the children the Christmas cards with "love, Grandma and Grandpa" on them, and mailed the gift cards back to her. She learned quickly that she can't buy us or her grandchildren.

He didn't have any relationship with his parents for over two years after the slapping incident, but now the relationship is much better~it's an adult relationship. They don't even start to try to treat him like they did before the incident. They know that he won't tolerate it.

Just a little hint, LD, that your husband is going to have to learn that he is an adult and has the right to decide what kind of relationship he wants to have with his father.

StAnn

FF, your post made me think about the good old days when I was single and there was NO DRAMA in my life. Ah, good times, good times!

StAnn

LovesDubs

Oh man...he SLAPPED his MOTHER? Wow...Im surprised she didnt call the cops on him. And no I dont expect my husband to do that to his dad either but SOME indication that he thought the comments were untoward would have been nice!

When the JWs started to shun me, and I would cry at the loss of my family and friends, my husband would say "What do you EXPECT? YOU LEFT JEHOVAH! You brought this all on YOURSELF!"

Nice huh? But his dad isnt nor ever was a JW...so there is no excuse. And yet he, too, is being excused.

DH expects me to pretend I never heard any of this...soooo aint gonna happen. He already hates me, might as well give him a REASON to eh?

mrsjones5

My husband's mother undeservedly called me "that bitch" to my husband's face. We were living in an apartment and she was standing in the doorway, in the hall. His knee jerk response? He slapped her so hard that it knocked her across the hall and into the front door of the apartment across from us.

Sounds like something my husband would do if my MIL ever dared to call me out of my name to his face.

My husband is not talking to his mother at this moment. The last time he spoke to her, she told him that she was happy that he was sick and in finanical ruin, she hoped that he stays there, his dead brother was the only one who took care of her, and my husband was better off dead. This was because my husband's father dared to come to hubby's brother's funneral last December for God's sake!!!r (they didn't have the same father). So hubby is not talking to MIL. MIL sent the kids $400 for Christmas (the envelope was address to me) and then left a message about a week after telling hubby to call her cuz she wanted to know if we got the money and about some wrongful death lawsuit concerning his brother. Hubby has no plans to call back. I'm sending a thank you card for the money (thank you on the front of card, nothing in the middle).

Josie

And UGLY response to a Christmas Card!

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