And UGLY response to a Christmas Card!

LovesDubs

Boy..just when I thought things couldnt get weirder in my life...I spent a whole day designing a Christmas newsletter with colorful pictures and stories about what my kids and family have been doing, and the election and you know...year end things and greetings, to send out. I do this every year. This year I had to file bankruptcy in August and decided to email the newsletter to save money. I explained that in my letter and told people I hoped the mode of delivery wouldnt take away from the heart felt meaning of my christmas greeting. I got many many compliments and replies to it saying people really enjoyed getting such a newsie and wonderful letter and loved seeing how the kids had grown.

However...this is what was sent to my JW husband from his father, my own father in law (we borrowed money from him a year ago when we were trying to stay afloat and for some reason now he acts like he owns us)

My husband writes:

LD:

My dad is upset with the impersonal nature of your Christmas card given how he has supported us in our time of need. Could you call him and apologize? We can talk about this tonight. ok.

J

(my father in law writes to him...:)

J:

I know you dont celebrate Chriatmas and dont send Christmas cards (or birthday cards etc) but as the grandfather of your children and one person that has tried to support your family throughtough times (twice) I find receiving this to be a slap in the face.

An insult.

If you knew this was going out to me, shame on you!

LD's ignorance staggers the imagination!

I wont be showing this email to my wife. She would be furious that my daughter in law showed such insolence!

All that said, it was good to hear that the kids are doing well. Hope it was true.

I wont be sending my usual end of year money out to the grandchildren this year. Maybe I will find time to send a blanket email to all of them.

We will talk about your debt restructuring early next year.

Dad

(Not only does the man not have the balls to tell ME this, but he punishes my KIDS because of how I sent my Christmas Card! And my husband, instead of saying ANYTHING to the man about how his father ripped on his WIFE for no good reason....wants me to APOLOGIZE?? OMG

I guarantee this wont happen again...ever

Should I pretend I dont know he said all this or reply?

purplesofa

I would say back to him,

I would have thought you would be happy with my thriftiness.
Economic times are hard on many people right now.

I hope things don't ever get bad enough that my internet is turned off and I cannot even send out emails.

I am trying to save money in all areas to better pay off my debts.

I find this to be responsible given that I have3 already file bankruptcy and borrowed money from you.
In no way did I mean to insult you,
I am sorry my actions caused you find it in your heart to punish your grandchildren.

Merry effing Christmas.

purps

sacolton

Just start calling him "Ebenezer Scrooge" ... Christmas Card?!!! BAH-HUMBUG!!!

blondie

Has he responded to you or others like this before? Sounds like he has a lot of animosity stored up. Sorry that you had to be the brunt of jw motive assignment.

Love, Blondie

LockedChaos

WOW!!!

That was pretty
Harsh...............

Sounds like he's just a
Grouchy Pants
LOL

Debt restructure = PUNISHMENT
Yea...........and your kids too
No Soup For You!!

Nice

Sunnygal41

(we borrowed money from him a year ago when we were trying to stay afloat and for some reason now he acts like owns us)

not in the least surprised...........some people do that...........that said, i find it extremely small minded and over sensitive of him to react that way, but, if he's the type who acts like he owns you since he lent you money, it doesn't surprise me..........it's just showing an extension of his mentality. i like what purps said............merry effing christmas, indeed.

LovesDubs

This guy was never a JW...he left my mother in law and had an affair because SHE was. It turns out too, that last year when he came to visit and help my husband with the construction on the house, he insisted on staying in a hotel even though he couldnt get an open room until midnight..he was going to wait. He told my husband "because I cant stand your WIFE." Nice huh? I have been married to his kid for 22 and never once have had a face to face conversation with this man. He doesnt know me from squat. My husband chose not to tell me this little tidbit "because he knew I wouldnt take it well" so when I got UPSET about it he said "See??? I KNEW you wouldnt take it well!"

What????

So now because we owe this man money my husband totally allows him to disrespect me, his wife, so as to seem to be "on his dad's side" and is doing this pathetic "yes man" routine now. Ugh... Now my husband is terrified that because he showed me the email that his dad is going to be MAD at him for doing that. Excuse me? You told me to APOLOGIZE to the man and now you think that all those nasty comments aimed squarely at and ABOUT ME...I had no right to see?

What do you guys think...if someone hates you, and they are all disingenuous when around you, smiling, hugging, pretending and then badmouth you behind your back...do you have the right to know that??

LovesDubs

Blondie...I was blindsided by this. I have sent that same newsletter out every single year for like 10 years and his was never personalized before...only stamped like everybody elses.

I have only EVER tried to be pleasant with this man, as he is an inlaw but he has NO relationship with any of his own six adult kids because he treats them all the way he has just treated me. And to him ...money buys his way into peoples lives. Its the only bargaining chit he has and he puts emphasis on money before affection. Well...Im not one of his kids. And my husbands fear of his own father, even at age 44, trumps my husbands ability to stand up for me. I think that bothers me MORE than this SOBs temper tantrum.

Barbie Doll

What do you guys think...if someone hates you, and they are all disingenuous when around you, smiling, hugging, pretending and then badmouth you behind your back...do you have the right to know that??

((YES)) you have the right to know that. If he starts to hug you, back off and tell him to stop bad-mouthing behind your back.

He is a Stupid Dumb A-----ss.

SPAZnik

'Tis the season. That's what impersonal financial institutions are for. Low drama. :) Sounds like the bank of dad-in-law is feeling unappreciated. Pay that man off QUICK, with thanks. And reframe the relationship. Since you indicate that you recognize his ill behaviour of trying to control people with money, don't enable it or participate in it. Does everyone in the family dislike the man, but accept his money?? I wonder how he would behave toward someone that developed a relationship with him and refused to allow his money into the picture.

And UGLY response to a Christmas Card!

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