Santa & Kids - To Lie or Not To Lie?

by sweet pea 139 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sweet pea

  This will be our second Christmas since leaving the WTS but we will be away in NZ with Besty's extended family so probably won't bother much with trees and decorations but the Santa issue is playing on my mind, especially now Podlet no. 1 is at preschool.

  Do we bring the children up to believe in Santa & Co with all the magic, mystery and excitement associated with the fairytale or do we tell him right away what the deal is - either route is going to feel very strange. My gut feeling is to go along with the myth and give them those happy memories of wonder and anticipation - what do you all think?
• 

  avishai

  lie.
• 

  Scully

  Do you let your child watch Disney movies, like The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, etc?

  We approached the Santa issue by telling our kids that the story of Santa Claus is pretty much like those stories. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, was at least a real person, and what we know about him is based on documented evidence (or at least "documented" "evidence" that the Church of Rome purported to be true of him). He had a reputation for working miracles (like having a sleigh that flew through the air with the assistance of eight flying reindeers - no not really... though he is the patron saint of sailors, children and pawnbrokers - which is a rather unusual combination if you think about it), and for furtive generosity (originally leaving coins in peoples' shoes while they slept and other secret gift-giving like tossing bags of gold coins through windows and down chimneys... guess where that led...).

  We also made a point of letting our kids know that for some people, stories can be very real, but that gradually that can change - the important thing was not to lose the lesson of the story. We never kept it secret that we were the ones who gave their presents. We still do the "traditional" things like sprinkling "magic reindeer food" on the snow on Christmas Eve, and leaving milk and cookies for Santa. We talked about how it is important to have a generous spirit for our family, and friends and even for people we don't know, not just at Christmas time, but all year round.
• 

  digderidoo

  My advice....lie through your teeth!

  When i split up from my ex, i so wanted my kids to believe in Santa but the ex was still a JW. I used to go out with a woman who had a child about the same age as my youngest, we told her about Santa, she loved it. The look on their faces was a picture.

  My kids now are 15, 13 and 11. I regret not telling them the Santa story.

  Paul
• 

  jws

  My wife was never a JW and she LOVES Christmas. When the kids were born, she wanted to go with the whole Santa story. I didn't argue.

  But deep down inside, it really bothers me. Not because of JW teachings so much (pagan origins, etc), but because I really don't like the idea of teaching my kids a lie. Even with religion, when it comes up, I'm usually careful to say things like "some people believe...". And I also try to give the other points of view too. My biases may show through, but I am giving them a choice.

  What sort of precedent do lies about Christmas set? Are they going to believe me when I teach them that smoking or drugs are bad? Or are they going to learn not to trust their parents? Is it any different than our parents teaching us that 144,000 are going to heaven? The difference, I guess, is that our parents believed it too. But it's still BS and it ticks most of us off to find out we learned and believed BS.

  As it stands now, for my 5 and 6-year-old, I am dropping hints. I have asked them whether Santa really brings them gifts or do they think it's really mom and dad buying the gifts and pretending like Santa left them? So far, they have chosen Santa, but my oldest has started to believe that maybe I am really Santa. Or that every dad is Santa for their family - that every dad has a Santa suit hidden in their closet. I'm not going to tell her what she's right or wrong about just yet. But she's thinking and I'm not trying to lie to her.
• 

  MadGiant

  Lie, someday one schoolmate is going to tell them how is santa and its fine. Believe me, when they found out, they are not going to tell you anything. They will be kept it a secret so they continue getting what they asked for. I keep the secret for about 3 years after I knew. After my parents find out that I knew, the crappy gift era began.
  I don’t think that you should be losing sleep with that one.

  Take care,
  Ismael
• 

  jwfacts

  I'm not comfortable with lying to my kids, even if it is something others think acceptable, such as Santa. A child can still enjoy Santa without being told he is real, just as a child can enjoy fairy stories without thinking they are real. Your children will still love christmas, all the colour and presents, and even Santa regardless of whether or not they are lied to and told he is real.
• 

  carla

  Oh, let them have Christmas! It is magical and they will sort it out soon enough. As a non jw I can tell you that as a child you fully understand the difference between your parents letting you have a little fantasy as a kid and outright lies. For those that say they never lie to their kids or others I would ask you, when you friend asks how you like their new haircut and it looks truly awful to you really tell them? if the phone rings and you don't want to talk to someone have you ever told family members to say you are busy or not there? Have you been to dinner and told the host how wonderful the meal was only to say how dreadful it was on the way home? all those little 'white lies' your children see everyday.

  I still continue to have Santa in my house. The Santa presents and stocking still do not go under the tree until my nearly grown kids are in bed. When they were little I would even change my handwriting on the tags so it didn't look like mine! It is just part of the season, little surprises. My kids have also been getting ornaments every year for years and years. Christmas morning they try to find the new one on the tree and when they move out they will have years of memories to hang on their own trees. I usually try to tie in the choice of ornament with something they are interested in that year if possible. We also had a tradtion of making an ornament every year so they will have all of those memories as well (hours at the table making them and just talking and laughing).

  Memories of family traditions can carry you through some tough times. Christmas can be something to look forward to and not for the gifts you will get but finding something special for those you love and watching them open a gift and be amazed that some little comment they said in the year past you remembered and they think they are special to you because you remembered. The smells of Christmas and home, ahh, nothing like it! My kids will be somewhere (one was out of the country for 2 years) and when they say 'mom, it smelled just like home' and I know it brought back a flood of memories for them, it truly warms my heart as corny as that sounds.
• 

  mrsjones5

  When my kids were small they believed in Santa Claus and yeah I promoted that belief. They had fun and I got to have a taste of what it would have been to have that kind of fun as a child. My kids are older now and they have yet to turn to me and say that I lied about Santa Claus. It's kind of a sign of growing up when that belief is let go, though sometimes I think that my 14 year old still believes.

  Josie
• 

  WingCommander

  Since I was raised as JW, but married a non-believer, I told my young son from the start that Santa is not real, he just represents the idea of charity and giving during the holidays. My son knows we all exchange gifts, no Santa.

  Holidays are a weird time, man. Thanksgiving is the easiest for me so far. No guilt whatsoever about celebrating it, thought even as a JW that there was no reason not to be thankful.

  - Wing Commander