I never "complained" that they curtains were not up...they haven't been up fpr 4 weeks and I have been patiently waiting...while neighbours walk past my window, I wait patiently and may politley mention it from time to time to her....my wife should be in hospital...yeah you come down here and drag her to hospital for me...she says she's going to a Psycologist I saw her go to the Doc and get the referal so....flirt, well she came on a bit strong telling me off for not leaving her and I made light of it with a joke, since we are friends on this site, someone who had a husband told me to have a sense of humor or you'll go crazy. It was a joke. My wife gets everything her way when she wants it, so she is more then well taken care of...i try to show her any affection/support/comunication she will allow..also you will notice that many many people talk about problems with there mates/partners on this site anonomusly to vent their frustrations and get advice....that's normal here...you may have noticed I critisized people who said "dump her." I really think you don't know what your talking about.
My Wife is mentally ill and does crazy things diary.
by Witness 007 66 Replies latest jw experiences
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Witness 007
Also my wife is totally comfortable in her condition for the most part which is sad and frustrating.....I'm the one that worries and cancels work if she went for a walk and is gone 2 hours....I'm the one who is worried and ringing family and friends while she just breezes in and acts like she doesn't have a care in the world even though I was crying with relief....she just acts cold and and un-caring.
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snowbird
Sylvia
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faundy
Ugh, do you have no insight whatsoever? Of course she acts like she doesn't care- elated behaviour is one of the most glaring signs of bipolar. You say she won't go to hospital- then get the authorities involved. Ring the emergency services; they will send an ambulance for a psychiactric emergency like they would any physical emergency. Then she gets sectioned, either on a two, or a three, depending on whether the decision is taken by her doctor or the police.
You need to do more research, instead of being on here, bemoaning your lot, talking about how you want to leave. Although if you did, she'd be better off, I'm sure.
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Witness 007
Thanks Snowbird I need a hug as hugging my dogs, is getting weird and the neighbours are looking at me funny......Oh wait I hope we are not flirting just a friend hug! lol.
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Witness 007
Again Faudy shows her lack of understanding. I have spoken to the hospital, ... Police, and Mental health staff....Here in Australia we have a "section 10 mental health law so Police can take someone who is a danger to themselves by threatening or implying or threatening their partner. Many times these people are let go if they don't show enough signs or fit the criteria....so I was told by Police/metal health staff that she would walk unless she fits their criteria and she cannot be taken by force. They would just give her some contact numbers which she has already. Since she is going to a Psyc. doctor and I can't force her this is all i can manage. This would only aggravate the situation. If how ever her {closely monitored} situation became worse at all I would take further action. She acts normal in front of others except for being "excentric" or "slightly off" so she would not be commited.
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manicmama
Sorry to hear of your struggles, take it from someone who has been there, the one thing that you can do is talk to her psych. I realize that due to confidentiality you probably can not talk or ask directly about her condition, but, you can tell them of your observations and things that she is saying and doing. Believe me they are not getting the whole story from her and I am surprised they have not requested a conference with you. Also remember that sometimes it takes going thru a few psych's to find the right one. Talk to them, get a good reading as to whether or not you would trust this person. If you think you would not, maybe it's time to find a different one, either way you should really talk to this person. Your wife at any time could lose her manic phase and crash, big time. The problem is you never know when it could happen, and that's when she becomes a danger to herself. I know it's hard but remember she is not herself and really does need help. Good luck!
Terry
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Snoozy
I didn't want to go back over all the info posted here but are her parents still around?
Can you return her and have them get her fixed for you? Doesn't sound like you are going to do it yourself. Or possibly you just feel like your hands are tied and you are giving up...until something drastic happens..is that what you are doing?
Why are you staying with her..do you think she loves you?..Do you love her? You are the mentally Ill one for allowing both of your lives to be ruined..sorry..saw it with my Mom and dad...you are just making excuses now. Does it make you feel powerful being the one with the control?
I wonder if my dad saw it like that or just felt it was all he could do...I know he had a strong sense of obligation towards family..he was a very caring man. I hope that is why you stay with her ..out of love and obligation..now please get some help for yourself so you can help her. Anyone that admits they have a mentally Ill person living at home and doesn't get them the proper help, needs help themselves...or at least moves out until that person gets help for themself. I hope you don't stay because she is supporting you...you do have a job don't you?..
Snoozy...
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sweetstuff
We have been married for 13 years and I think what if the situation was reversed and I had the breakdown? Would I want my wife to try and help me or just dump me and run? That would be easier, just to "abandon ship."..... "In sickness and health though???" I'm suprised with some peoples atitude you don't understand mental illness is the same as getting any other illness.
Hmm, ok, how do I put this without being beaten into a corner for voicing my opinion? Oh well, won't be the first time, probably not the last. When we all did the "till death to we part" thing, we went into knowing good and bad might come our way. But does that mean a woman/man should stay with an alcoholic, an abuser, a drug addict, no matter what? It could be argued that all the former are in fact, mentally ill and in need of help/self medicating. So when is the breaking point? When someone refuses to get help or shows no sign of trying to help themselves even when help is offered? Is one mental illness to be acceptable and another not? Bottom line Witness 007 only you can know when enough is enough. This is your life as well.
I was married to an alcoholic and to any who say I should have stuck it out, because I said, "for better or worse" you can kiss my derriere, thank you very much. No one should live in hell to "help" another person who isn't whole on their own, nor should anyone suffer a lifetime of servitude to uphold a vow they made under the pretense that it was two equal whole people going into it. I watched an aunt I dearly love endure years and years of hell with an abusive, mentally ill husband, who drank, beat her, berated her, but well, I guess he was "sick" so she should shut up and put up, cause after all, she married him right? She's a shell of a human being now, beaten down for so many years because she felt it was her duty as a wife to uphold some archaic vows to someone who's own actions betrayed them. He didn't cherish her above his own body, hardly! He was mentally ill, so she'd be a heartless bitch to have left him right? Instead she stayed, her children suffered and they are all messed up now, much more noble thing to do right?
Only you can decide what's right for you Witness, but from what I've seen and my personal experiences, there is no reward for martyrdom in marriage. In fact, living day in and day out with someone unwell mentally, can deteriorate your own mental well being. I suppose what I'm just trying to say which alot of people don't want to.....it's ok to say, I can't take this, it's not my job or responsibility to fix YOU. Because it isn't your responsibility to fix her. You wouldn't be a bad person for doing so, at all. You only get one life, your happiness is important. You can't make her happy, you can't fix her, you can simply exist in the chaos that ensues around you. Personally, that would not be a life I'd choose. But to each their own. We (meaning most of us here) support you whatever you decide and thru whatever journey lies ahead of you.
SS, of the "I don't want to be your personal Jesus class"
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bisous
Well said Sweet Stuff. People can give their opinions on different courses of action or what THEY would do ... or pronounce judgement, I suppose, as we've also read here. I also see a lot of what I think is people 'projecting' their personal experience on to Witness007's life and making pronouncements based on that.
But ultimately, only each of us can decide what is right for ourselves.