~ Just found out that my dad has died ~

by FlyingHighNow 122 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  wednesday

  I'm so sorry FHN. yes life can be so complicated and messy. Funerals amplify all this. I once had to make a decision to not attend a very important family members funeral. It was a hard decision and only I knew the reasons.

  I'm Cherokee .I use the Sacred Path Cards and Medicine cards a lot. they can often help to bring some clarity to my thoughts. I find it a lot more comforting than traditional religion.

  I tell my children to "spit it out" . that is often the best thing one can do. If you can't "spit it out' with a family member, perhaps a friend.

  Please take very good care of yourself.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  ((H)) I'm so sorry for your loss and pain right now. I wish I could say something more encouraging, strengthening, or profound.

  Please know that if only we were all physically closer, we'd hug and talk and bring over casseroles and desserts... unfortunately, some of us would drink all your beer and such. So, maybe it's a good thing that some of us aren't closer.

  Please keep us updated on how things are going.

  Billy
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Please know that if only we were all physically closer, we'd hug and talk and bring over casseroles and desserts ... unfortunately, some of us would drink all your beer and such . So, maybe it's a good thing that some of us aren't closer .

  You made me smile. I'd laugh if I wasn't so exhausted. I have a drawer full of Pabst Blue Ribbon. It would be wonderful to have someone to drink it with. You know, often I have left condolences on a thread like this, and never did I realize until now how comforting it truly is the bereaved. Thank you seems like such an inadequate couple of words to express how much I appreciated your kind words and wishes, all of you. I called my JW sister again a while ago. She has not spoken with Jan, Dad's wife. I think I may call Jan now. From what I understand, he simply wanted to be cremated and his ashes strewn on the ocean. He loved the ocean having served as an officer in the Navy and then going on to become an oceangrapher, contracting for the big oil companies. Here is a silly picture of Dad when he was on into his forties.
• 

  little witch

  Flying, I send you my deepest sympathy. I hope that you have lots of support and I send my thoughts and prayers your way Dear One... LW
• 

  minimus

  I just read this! I'm so sorry.
• 

  golf2
• 

  golf2
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I'm speakin to Jan right now.
• 

  golf2

  Sorry to hear the news. I'm also sorry to hear how the JW family is treating you. I wish you the best and good health.
  
  
  
  
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I just spent three hours on the phone with Jan. The first thing she did was tell me about my JW sister and my fundamentalist brothers trying to convert her and tell her what to do about Dad and finances and things. I told her up front to relax and not worry because I would do none of those things. We talked about how divisive the fundy type beliefs are and she told me JW's are a cult in her opinion. Jan is British and she told me she is proud to be Anglican and that now that Dad had passed away she thinks she will visit the little Episcopal/Anglican church down the road. We children were raised in the Episcopal or Anglican church. She and I agreed we liked the Anglican lack of need to save or convert people.

  We talked about many things and she sounded relieved and empowered. At the end of the call she told me of all the kids I am the only one who is sane or approaching normal.

  Dad is being cremated. He doesn't want a service, which upset my two fundy brothers. In a few months she says she and her friends will take his ashes up in the mountains and maybe put the ashes over some waterfall. I told her I will make an online memorial for him at FindAGrave.com like I made for Mom and my brother Cory. I told her she could send me a picture of his final resting place and I will post it to the memorial.

  I am very tired and need to get some rest. I forgot to call my boss and tell her that Dad died. I am scheduled to work in the morning. I am debating about calling off. It's only a three hour shift.

  I know the exact circumstances of his death and she says it was peaceful and in his sleep. He was sitting in the recliner and she thinks it happened while she stepped out on the porch to have some ice water around a quarter til 7 last night.

  I told her that all I want is a copy of our geneology and family pictures, especially one of Daddy and me when I was in the 4th grade. She told me she knows exactly where it is and that he has carried it around with him all these years. She told me he always called me his babydoll and princess. I really just wish I could have a good cry. I need to cry.