To Quit or Control it....Drinking that is....Who has succeeded and how? (page 2)

Crumpet

Oompa in the AA meeting it just seemed to be about higher power drivel. However my first ex is in alcohol counselling and they do exactly that - they teach you how to drink in moderation. In the lockdown rehab he went to for 2 weeks it was total abstinence, but I think that was to break the habit as he had been drinking every day - pretty much since I left, so about 7 years I think. And then after that they stress how important it is to eat something - not only does this absorb alcohol but for some of us used to drinking a lot hunger becomes misinterpreted/translated as need for a drink and then you drink and drink and can't eat anything. he's now back in employment, still drinks and mostly in moderation - like two glasses of wine in the evening although I think he exceeds the limit at weekends still.

I think it has to be based on the individual. I know that I can drink in moderation. I've never been one to drink every day. I have to just do a quick check on my motivation when I want a drink. If its for the purposes of avoiding something or i can't relax without - then that's not a good reason. If however it's because a cold beer on a hot summer's eve with some friends and good conversation sounds like a pleasant past time, then that's a good reason and just remembering that I have my limits.

Limits vary too. One night you can drink a ton and not be pissed. Another night and the second glass starts to msake me feel like the world is tipping and those are the nights where I should not drink anymore.

oldseeker

Oompa:

The issue is still one of control. I didn't hear about the study you refer to, but on its face I see a problem in that it is saying that you can use 'will power' to control your drinking. How well has that worked for you personally?

There is a fine line between 'alcoholism' and 'abuse of alcohol'. An abuser of alcohol may be able to 'control' his drinking by sheer will power, but an alcoholic can never do that. There is a real medical difference here and once you step over the line from abuse to alcoholic there is no return and there is no such thing ever again as 'social drinking'. If you have ever said to yourself "I will only have two beers tonight" and end up drinking a lot more because you couldn't control it you may be an alcoholic. Other signs are (these I have personally experienced): morning drinking, thinking about when you will drink when you get up in the morning, pre-drinking when going to social events (to hide the amount of alcohol you need to feel good), drinking alone, hiding the amount you drink from others. While these are not a checklist to determine whter or not you are an alcoholic, they are warning signs.

It doesn't matter what they do in one country or the other, it is a human condition and geography doesn't change the disease of alcoholism.

Oldseeker

oompa

Or you can just call me when you get the urge to drink and I'll kick your ass! LOL
changeling :)

Guys, everyone needs a freind like changeling around. She has professional skills.......a doctorate in asskicking................oompa

changeling

a doctorate in asskicking

Can I hang that on my office wall as a certificate? LOL

changeling :)

sweetstuff

I would suggest quitting all together, dealing with the emotional reasons behind the need to drink and then if you think you can "control" it, do a little experimentation, have one drink, one night a week. If you find you crave more, can't stop thinking about the alcohol and desire it more and more, NEVER DRINK AGAIN., Some people are alcohol abusers, some are alcoholics, until you know and face which you are, no one can tell you for sure what method is the best to take.

If you need to drink dailly to cope, good chance you are an alcoholic and booze is poison to you. Think of it as an allergy that's deadly. Cant' touch it it at all.

Or you are overindulging in booze for emotional purposes but can go without it, for days, or weeks. Setting a time period of a month where you decide to not drink and deal with your issues would be very telling.

My ex husband was and still is an alcoholic, you knew that already Oompa, since we'd talked about it. He cannot touch alcohol at all, because he CANNOT control it. He still hasnt' reached that level however and was pulled over this past weekend for DUI, lost his car and has to go to court in a few months for it. Scary part? He's still drinking.......I wouldn't wish that on anyone. He's lost everything, his job, his relationships, soon his right to drive (thank god!) and he truly believes he can't stop drinking, he's already told himself, I can't do it.

People can do it, they have and remained sober for years, lifetimes, but only because they didn't take the easy road. You can beat this too Oompa, but you need to believe you can. Hugs.

Quirky1

I'm just sitting here having a beer reading this thread.

Velvetann

Oompa I totally understand how difficult it is to find a way to not use alcohol in excess.

Crumpet thanks for sharing with us. Its not easy to admit you have a problem or have had one.

I would never have admitted I drank to much until I came on this group and found out I am not alone. that in itself is helping me to be more moderate with drinking and to understand some of the reasons why I drink. I always said it was because I love the taste of it. I only drink wine. I will have a Margarita once in awhile but only 2, after that it is too filling. I hate the taste of hard liquor such as rye, scotch, brandy, gin, bourbon etc. I wlll drink vodka in a mixed drink but only one, after that it makes me feel funny. If it wasn't for wine I wouldn't drink. So why did I get in the habit of drinking so much for years?? I have tried to figure it out and came to the conclusion it was Guilt and lifestyle.

I only drank at night after 7 PM so thought that was ok or socially. I started drinking at first because I hated my life and being a JW and was stuck in a boring life with 4 kids under 6. I left the religion and then I felt really guilty and continued to drink. then I got involved in the entertainment business, it led to a decadent lifestyle and I couldn't handle it. I drank socially and became a party person. Then my life was a roller coaster of events, divorce, new husband, death of husband after 13 years. Starting all over again. Parents died. Children disowning me, new husband again. then my health failed, not because of drinking. 2 years ago all my partying and travelling and lucrative business and fun stuff stopped because I lost my mobility and developed chronic severe back pain and MS. What a shock. Then I drank to ease the pain of depression and actual severe back pain.

I am not drinking now and its working but I am struggling still with the urge to drink because of pain. I have been without a drink for 4 weeks.

So Oompa you are not alone but its not healthy and so thats a good reason to stop. It won't take our pain away just make it worse in the long run. I now its easier Said than Done

Hugs to you Oompa and Crumpet

Velvet

Anti-Christ

I agree with sweetstuff, you must deal with the emotional reason why you drink. Drinking is just a symptom of a bigger problem. I don't have a problem with alcohol but I had a problem with dope. I would smoke pot all the time , when I cam back from work, before I went to bed, before I had sex, in the morning during the weekend and all day. I just loved getting high. Twice a month I would take something a little harder. I stop when I ended up in the hospital. I was forced to look at my life and fix what was going wrong. Now I don't feel the need any more, I try to smoke a joint about a year ago and I just didn't like it, that was it I knew I was "cured". I tried stopping before that and it didn't work, I had to deal with the reason and not the symptom.

Maddie

I don't bother to analyse why AA works, but it does. I could stop drinking for periods of time on my own, but eventually picked up a drink and could never control it. In AA I have been sober for nearly 11 years now and even in my darkest moments have been able to stay sober. Most people throw in the towel and go to AA when they have had enough and nothing else works but you don't have to be that low.

Maddie

oldseeker

Actually this discussion reminds me a little of some AA meetings I have been to. That's good. Because the more open we are about the problem, the more we display a willingness to get help.

A sign in the the outpatient program I was in stated "Your best thinking got you here!". In AA they call it "stinking thinking". It's based on the fact that alcoholics have basically killed off a large number of their brain cells and can't think very straight, especially when they think they can control anything. I was told it would take 2 years to get my 'sanity' back. Well, because of my age, I suppose, it took almost three years. My personal testimony is that they were right! Drinking does affect everything about us even if we don't 'think' it does, that's the great delusion.

I was an elder when my problems came to the point of being critical. I was not helped at all by my fellow elders, some of whom where headed in the same direction I was in. The answer to my problem from them was "just quit drinking".

I would not so easily cast off the help that AA can be. I never viewed it as a religious experience, but as a spiritual experience. After all, the only religious ceremony is the holding of hands at the end of the meeting and reciting the Serenity Prayer. In one way or the other AA has touched the lives of about 50% of the US population and they have had good success. The sponsor you get (and you HAVE to get a sponsor) may seem like Hilter but they are there to help you 'work' the 12 steps, and I personally can testify that if you 'work' the 12 steps and put yourself into it you will be successful.

Oldseeker

To Quit or Control it....Drinking that is....Who has succeeded and how?

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