To Quit or Control it....Drinking that is....Who has succeeded and how?

by oompa 52 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa

    Thinking about just giving it up....I always revert back to a nightly habit.....and the occasasinal Big Escape into the bottle. But of course you can't live there, and it fixes nothing.

    Because I think I do have a problem, I went to some AA meetings and found them to be too much like WT. If alcholism is a true disease, then why is it the only one that needs God (or a higher power to cure (or cope with). I have never had any problem quitting, side effects or anything, even when quitting for a year 4 years ago. But being just a social drinker or always being moderate is difficult for me, and I tend to use it as a pain killer....and I do have pain to kill. My higer power may still be out there, I have just not heard from him in a long, long, in never.......................oompa

  • Mulan

    I think there is a prescription you can take, that makes you violently ill if you drink. That might be worth a try.

    I tend to agree with you about those meetings being like the KH. I don't have a drinking problem, but have been to an Overeater's Anonymous meeting about 30 years ago, and I think they are all similar in format. Once was enough for me.

    Having known people who went to AA, I suggest you give it another try. I've heard they do wonderful things. Maybe find a different location.

  • Quirky1

    Oompa, I've often contemplated the same thing. I've always been a drinker. The whole family is. We all drink and sometimes in excess. I won't go to AA because religion is involved.

    I have quit before and didn't miss it. I have also controlled it several times but it seems it either has to be all or nothing. Being a social drinker never done it for me. I always caved in.

    Today, I just drink 6-7 beers in the evening working around the house and go to bed. It's kinda like groundhog day at my house.

  • BurnTheShips

    I have reduced the total volume of alcohol I consume. I am very proud.

    I have switched to higher proof liquors.


  • Quirky1

    I've also heard the anti smoking drug Chantix has a dual purpose. Not only helps with nicotine addiction but alchohol as well. I've read several promising reviews.

  • Crumpet

    Oompa - I think its rather brave of you to just say this outright. So in return I'll admit a few things myself, which anyone who has met me probably has worked out by now anyway. (I'm always the last to know - ).

    I have always had a tendency to over indulge. Binge drinker since i was 16. Lost friends over it. Lost time over it. Lost health over it. Loss of money. Loss of memory. Loss of relationships. Loss of self respect.

    Why - a mixture of fear, social anxiety (I'm very shy - although hardly anyone realises because if you are speaking to me at all then I'm probably drinking), bereavement, anger, loss, relationship stress, work stress, invented-so- i- can- have- drink- stress, boredom, escapism - you name it - every excuse there is in the book...and some!

    And sometimes just rarely a glass of wine on its own because I love the taste, savoured over a chat with a friend I feel secure with or a movie - the glass that often doesnt need replenishing and is left half full, because for once it wasnt the focus of my attention.

    So I'm working towards making the last scenario the ONLY scenario. But until I do I'm not drinking at all until I have reached a level of confidence that I should have attained when I was a young adult. What has helped has been having someone on my side who actually believes in me and isnt waiting for me to f*** up, like its inevitable. And also deciding that I would go through the painful moments of confrontation about my past and present stone cold sober, analyse them, feel them no matter how painful and still not have a drink. Facing yourself and how you feel is often the hardest thing to do - specially if you've used alcohol all your life not to feel.

    I went to AA too - religious aspect put me off, not to mention they were just the miserablest, most self-absorbed bunch I've ever had to spend an hour with.

    Right now is the longest I have been in my life without a drop of alcohol. 3 weeks and 3 days. Frankly i dont really miss it. I do miss socialising however. But I will wait until I trust myself to drink in moderation, have practised living the tough feelings instead of running away from them, before I drink again.

    Good luck Oompa and anyone else reading your thread who feels the shame of the dependency and wants to seek a way out.

  • oldseeker

    I've been where you are. I have been 'sober' now for 10 years. There is a fundamental reaason that many people fail at attemping to recover, it's because they think that THEY (spelled EGO) can control it or stop it when they want. Thus the reason for the 'spiritual' nature of the AA meetings, it relies on a power outside of yourself. The number one step that needs to become your mantra is the recognition that "I am powerless over alcohol". Recognition that you have a problem is the first step, but you have to firmly believe that you, by yourself, cannot control it.

    AA has its limitations but it has been helpful, it might seem depressing sitting around discussing the problems that alcohol has caused, listening to people describe the 'bottom' they had to hit before they quit or were made to quit (DUI's, divorce, job loss, etc.). Everyone has a 'bottom' that they need to get to before they get help. The 'bottom' is always different for each person.

    One man in our group was an atheist. He was still successful by viewing his 'Higher Power' as the group itself, this became his power outside of himself.

    For me, sucess was entering an outpatient program, along with AA meetings. It was three nights a week. The exercises were eye-opening and the program had some similarities to AA (12 steps) but it also covered the reasons why you are where you are and the nature of addiction.

    Hope this helps,


  • Quirky1

    I enjoyed your post oldseaker.

    Welcome to the board!

  • oompa

    Thanks Oldseeker...good input...

    And Crumpet....since you know of AA....and Britian is legend for its pub life, I want to tell you and the others that a few years ago here in the States I heard a week long National Public Radio series on the difference between treatment here and in Ireland and Britain. The jist of it was that most programs there teach setting a limit and sticking to it...such as as one pint a night only, whereas most US programs teach total abstinance. The studies reported showed a much higher sobriety rate in the "set limit" programs compared to AA. Did anyone catch this, or know of the two different program?

  • changeling

    Good for you for admitting you have a problem! That is the magical first step!

    I can't speak form experience, but my understanding is that "the greater power" AA calls upon can be interpreted anyway you want. Perhaps you can view it as the hidden power you hold within yourself .

    Also, I believe in AA your pair up with a sponsor to help you stay the course. That may be beneficial for you since you are such an outgoing, social person.

    I've known many a person with a drinking problem and most of them have to avoid alchohol all together. That requires getting it all out of your house to avoid temptation. You will also have to learn a new coping mechanism to deal with problems that come up in life. So again, AA or some form of professional counseling or program is probably what you need to learn some new coping skills.

    Or you can just call me when you get the urge to drink and I'll kick your ass! LOL

    changeling :)

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