Ask Happy Homemaker!

by compound complex 337 Replies latest jw friends

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Calico,

    Ah! the ugly kitchen floor ... the cheap husband! What we decorators go through as we commiserate with desperate housewives ...

    Scrub floor deeply and use a single-edge razor blade, if necessary, to lightly scrape away gum, pine sap and any other irregularities (including guests who landed and forgot to go home). Got holes? Fill in with water-based wood compound. Lightly sand when dry. Once floor is truly clean & dry to the eye, and - better still - to your delicate touch, apply a floor/porch acrylic paint with roller. DON'T PAINT YOURSELF INTO A CORNER!

    When dry, you can add your own little splatters of "whoops paint" (cheap paint that got goofed-up at the paint store) to create a look that's all you.

    Cheap - easy - fun!

    OR - get a painter's canvas tarp and, stretching it as tight as you can, tack it in along the kitchen floor perimeter. It's cheap and serviceable. When filthy, untack it and wash it in a large commercial washer.

    Hope this helps!

    Happy Homemaker!

  • calico
    calico

    Thanks!

  • compound complex
    compound complex
    How To Paint a Floor
    Step-by-step instructions for a diamond- patterned floor
    By Jessica Thuston

    photography: Robbie Caponetto

    Gather the Goods
    • industrial floor sander (rent one or hire it out)
    • paint roller
    • medium-size paintbrush
    • white oil-based primer
    • white oil-based exterior or porch paint
    • black (or your choice) oil-based exterior or porch paint
    • 3- or 4-foot metal ruler
    • watercolor pencil the shade of the contrasting-color paint
    • 12-inch (or size desired) square sample tile
    • painter’s tape
    • clear polyurethane (optional)

    You Can Do It
    1. If you're working with an old floor, prepare it by sanding thoroughly. Vacuum to remove all dust; then apply the primer. Next, use the roller to paint one or, if necessary, two coats of white paint. Allow to dry between coats.


    photography: Robbie Caponetto



    photography: Robbie Caponetto
    2. Measure your floor, and make a drawing to work from. First, divide the room's width in inches by the diagonal width in inches of the tile; then divide the depth of the room in inches by the diagonal width of the tile. This will let you know how many whole diamonds will run horizontally and vertically across the floor. Good news: Your measurements don’t have to be precise.

    3. Starting at the center of the room, use the watercolor pencil to trace around the tile; work your way out toward the walls. After you’ve traced two rows, you can use the ruler to make longer diagonal lines as guides for placing the tile.


    photography: Robbie Caponetto
    4. Once all diamonds are traced, make a light mark in every other one to guide your taping and painting. Tape off the diamonds, and make sure no dust has settled on the floor.

    5. Use a paintbrush to apply the black paint to every other diamond. Allow 48 hours to dry. If desired, add one coat of polyurethane for a high-gloss, more durable finish. But if you prefer for your floors to achieve a scuffed look over time, you’re finished!

    Troubleshooting Tips
    • Buy good brushes so bristles don’t fall into the paint.
    • Wear latex gloves, and keep clean rags close by.
    • Wear trash bags on your feet while rolling paint on the floor. Remove them before leaving the room to avoid tracking paint through the house.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    You're very welcome, Calico!

    Let me know what becomes of your kitchen floor and/or your cheap and/or ugly husband.

    HH!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Happy Homemaker,

    My Ralphie he made me so very happy when he put that band of gold on my finger and made me his blushing bride. Well that's been 10 years ago and I still got the ring around my finger but a HUGE ring in the bathtub. You see Ralphie's a sweetheart but he's also a grub. Honest to God I really try to keep up with him and the 9 little grubs. Seems I'm always barefoot and pregnant and have one helluva time scrubbing out the tub. Don't even get me started on the laundry.

    Actually I best get started on the laundry. Gotta get me some water at the creek and heat it on the wood stove and get out the washtub and scrubbin' board ... oh yeah - how'd I get that darn ring outta the bathtub? The tranny that was in there is all scrubbed and pretty now but what a mess!

    Help! and thanks.

    Molly

    Dear Molly,

    Good golly Miss Molly! What a brood ... and another on the way! Well, if Ralphie's such a sweetheart he'll do this little chore for you as I don't want you breathing in noxious fumes at this perpetual point in your childbearing years. Do the little ones help Mummy with the chores? I have some thoughts on childrearing, but you have the production element down pat, so it would seem.

    Have hubby spray the tub's interior (that would be the insides) with oven cleaner and allow it to churn away at people scum and automotive sludge for a couple hours. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Now, if you have colored porcelain I'd not recommend this procedure, but somehow I don't think this should be a problem.

    Good luck with your life ...

    Hope this helps!

    Happy Homemaker!

  • Tara
    Tara

    LOL. Not being smart enough to come up with a witty comment, all I can do is LOL.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Tara,

    Thank you ever so for you correspondence! Please, even if wit be not in your domain, surely there must be some household quandary that nips at your heels ...

    May Happy help?

    HH!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Here are some "grandmother-tested" ways to clean without dangerous chemicals, and save money, too.

    Scouring powder

    : Combine nine parts whiting (from a hardware store) with one part soap granules. This mixture won't scratch surfaces as commercial products do, and it omits the unnecessary chlorine, which could accidentally combine with other chemicals -- like ammonia -- to produce dangerous chlorine gas.

    Brass and copper cleaner:

    Vinegar and salt paste.

    Window cleaner:

    4 tablespoons ammonia, 2 tablespoons vinegar, and 1 quart water, followed by lots of elbow grease with crumpled old newspapers for a special sparkle.

    Drain cleaner: First, try a plunger. Then try 1/2 cup washing soda followed by 2 cups boiling water. For a stronger treatment, combine a handful of baking soda with 1/2 cup vinegar. Close the drain and let it sit, then flush with water. Do this regularly to prevent buildup. (Washing soda is an alkali much less caustic than lye, but it should be kept locked up. It is dangerous.)

    Rug cleaner:

    Get the spill scooped or blotted up fast! Dip a small brush in cold water and work out the spot. For a grease spot, sprinkle a generous amount of dry baking soda or dry cornstarch on the spot. Let it stand for an hour or so, then vacuum. If the grease remains, try the Magic Spray Cleaner below, and a stiff brush.

    Rug shampoo mix:

    Mix 1/4 cup mild detergent or soap, with 1 pint of warm water and 2 tablespoons vinegar. Whip into a stiff foam. First, vacuum the rug thoroughly. Apply the foam and scrub. Let dry, then vacuum again.

    Magic spray cleaner

    (for surfaces other than varnish, aluminum or asphalt tile): 1/4 cup ammonia, 1/8 cup vinegar, 1 tablespoon baking soda, and 1 quart water. Pour into glass or plastic bottle, screw on a hand squirter top, and enjoy.

    Furniture polish:

    Use paste wax or mineral oil, which are much less toxic than petroleum distillates like "lemon oil," which isn't from lemons.

    Spot remover:

    For fabrics that don't take to bleach, apply ammonia diluted with an equal amount of water. Put paper towels underneath to blot. If the ammonia odor clings, apply a table-salt solution. (A last resort for old stains is a dab of vinegar.)

    Oven cleaner:

    Sprinkle spills generously with salt while the oven is still hot. The burned deposit should scrape off with no trouble when the oven cools. For thorough cleaning, set an open shallow dish of full-strength ammonia inside the cold oven. Close the door and let it stand overnight. The ammonia gas from the solution is absorbed by the grease, which ends up like soap. Do not use this method on aluminum.

    Deodorizers:

    Use baking soda here, there, and everywhere -- down the drain, on baby spit-up, in diaper pails, refrigerators, cat litter and the kitchen sponge. It's easy and simple.
  • Tara
    Tara

    surely there must be some household quandary that nips at your heels ...

    May Happy help?

    Dear Happy Homemaker,

    Alas, there is a household quandary nipping at my heels or, rather, peeing on the rug in my bedroom. What is your solution for getting rid of pet stains?

    Please don't tell me to send the offending little beast off to the pound as that is not an option I care to consider.

    I eagerly await your reply.

    Signed,

    Tired of scrubbing only to have the stain reappear when dry.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear and Gentle Readers:

    Our Happy Homemaker has sojourned to the far east - but temporarily - to study the voiding habits of giant cats that seem to be accepted as pets within the capacious tents of our noble desert sheikhs.

    He shall return to give answer to the imponderable feline calls of nature, doing so with the greatest possible dispatch in order to set your quivering hearts at peace and afford your minds the sweet repose they so richly deserve ...

    Staff

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