Most Awkward, Embarrassing, Comical things you Experienced as a Witness ? (page 8)

bassetthound

Working in field service with our very old, german circuit overseer, we noticed some guys in suits on the block across the street so in a booming voice he called them over. They were Mormans! He held up the Territory card and said "We've got this map - you need to go somewhere else"....and they did!

We had an Italian Brother reading from Revelation 19:12, talking about the riders firey eyes.....and due to his accent kept referring to furry eyes....I got the giggles, then my Mum got the giggles.....I had to leave the auditorium

And while out pioneering I rung the bell and young man opened the door wearing nothing, NOTHING, but an ace bandage on his wrist....I looked him up and down and said "That's a really nice bandage"....

notjustyet

Heard that this older country, not city, brother ( great person by the way) was offering the magazines and one of the articles was on

Nuclear Fission. I heard that he said to the householder that he had heard of all types of fishing, but had never heard of nuclear fishing.

I had been joking around with my cohorts that I knew the bible all the way from "Generation to Revolution" purposely saying the names of the books incorrectly. SO I had actually been saying this more than the actual names and found myself out in service with the CO and I wind up telling the householder that our bible is like many others and goes from, you guessed it, "generations to revolutions" Right in the middle of saying this I knew what had happened and kinda knew I had messed up right there infront of God and more importantly the CO.

I then tried to explain to the CO after we left the door WHY I had messed up as I had been joking around with my friends etc, and he kinda just smiled a bit which I thought was unusual as I thought he would drop the hammer on me for that one.

NJY

Cacky

I was in my thirties and was at the door with a sis in her forties and I told her a joke. I said, "What did one bee say to the other bee?" "What?" she said. "Your man is down," I said with a laugh. "I dont' get it," she said. I explained that when a man's zipper is down, you say "Your fly is down." She said, "But you said "bee." I cracked up laughing and it was a good thing the homeowner didn't answer. I don't know, it's funny to me. I'm still laughing. I was supposed to say, What did one fly say to the other fly? Your man is down.

Aunt Fancy

FirstLastName

I felt very very sorry for a 13 year old boy that had been assigned to give the talk about the Masturbation chapter from the Youth Book. Instead of the word "masturbation", he would say "the problem".

flipper

Wow ! Didn't realize this 5 yr.old thread had been bumped up ! Thanks for the bump BANGALORE !

DEWANDELAAR- I used to think of funny stuff at meetings sometimes and start cracking up as I wasn't paying ttention at meetings anyway. It was a good way of passing the time. Once several of us started laughing when Brother Bulging butt started farting during the prayer at a Book Study. Must have been about 6 to 8 people losing it. Pretty funny.

SAFEATHOME- Pretty funny about your mom getting her boot peed on by a dog. I'm sure your mom didn't think it was funny at the time- but it sounds like she was a good sport about it and laughed later. Pretty cute story ! Thanks for sharing.

POOPIESKOOPIE - That's pretty good," how do I get assigned to this brothel " ? Bethel probably IS closer to a brothel than we know- if we were flys on bedroom walls and saw everything that goes down

flipper

MGMELKAT- Pretty funny. Sects as opposed to sex. I bet most householders WOULD rather talk about sex than sects ! LOL !

MISS.FIT- Thanks for the bump to top.

AUNT FANCY- That was pretty funny about SAFEATHOMES mom getting peed on. Perhaps the dog just didn't like Witnesses. Trying to mark it's territory. Sending out the vibe.

XANTHIPPE- You got bit in the butt by a German Shepherd out in field service ? What a trip. Did it require stitches or break skin ? Hope you ended up O.K.

TRUTHSEEKER 674- Wow ! What a wild experience with the Danish brother ! Jesus Christ almighty ! So he grabbed the dogs tongue and the dog bit his own tongue ? That's incredible. I can see why the dog cowered from the Danish brother later. I wouldn't want to meet that Danish brother in a dark alley either. Wow.

FREETHINKING 76- Wow. Sounds like you committed the one grievous error a man never wants to make- saying a lady is pregnant when she's not and just gained weight. I hope you were able to back out of that one with your head intact ! LOL ! Or your foot out of your mouth as well !

BASSETTHOUND- That's funny telling the Mormons to go work some other territory, pretty good ! And the speaker who said the rider had " furry " eyes , that is really funny, maybe the rider was Bigfoot ! If you had told the naked man at the door " That's a really nice package " ... you might have gotten a return visit !

NOTJUSTYET- " Nuclear fishing " pretty good . And the c.O. not coming down on you for your generation/revolution mistake- some of the C.O.'s especially the younger ones had pretty good senses of humor I found. It was the old farts that didn't laugh much, too stressed out in their C.O. position.

CACKY- That's pretty good, " your man is down ". Good joke. I had that happen too at the door when I was telling a joke to a service partner and someone DID come to the door and wondered why I was laughing ! I had some quick explaining to do !

FIRSTLASTNAME- I always felt it was awful for young people to give talks on masturbation and any other sexual subjects in the Ministry school. I remember I had to give a talk on masturbation when I was barely 13 yrs.old too. And what was more difficult is I regularly masturbated myself like most young people - so I felt awkward giving a talk about it. If I was still a JW I'd give a talk on the joys of masturbation instead of dissing it ! LOL ! Then they'd throw me out of the kingdom hall ! LOL ! Peace out, mr. Flipper

androb31

--There was this older brother in my hall who always had terrible gas. Most people in the hall knew not to sit behind him as he seemed to be unable to keep his farts from escaping (he seemed oblivious) throughout the meeting, especially when standing during the prayer and song. It was loud and very rank . Every now and again an unsuspecting person or family would make the mistake of sitting right behind this guy unknowingly. You could count on it that after a few minutes if you looked in their direction they would have a look of shock and awe on their faces. Priceless.

--One that was not funny but really weird and sad was when this older brother had gotten up to give his first talk after a few years of ill health (really nice guy). He was about 10-15 minutes into it he started slurring his speech and looking confused. He announced that something wasn't right and he needed help. A couple of guys came up and carried him off the stage in a chair as he was stroking out right there. The worst part is they didn't cancel the meeting or put it on hold and let people go home and process what had just happened (he was one of the brothers that everybody in the hall knew and loved). They simply took him to the back, got another elder up there to finish the talk and told everyone to stay in their seats. I guess they didn't want anyone to miss out on the fine spiritual food being served. His daughter was sitting in the next row over from myself and my family crying her eyes out. I didn't understand why she didn't go with the ambulance or to the hospital. Like she was worried about looking bad for skipping out on a meeting or something......go figure. I felt so bad for her.

Praise YaHuWaH

These stories always crack me up...

One time while I was doing some aux pioneering and was about 14 years old or so, I was out in the door to door with an older couple that was visiting our congregation from England. The husband was wheelchair bound so I was pushing him from door to door. He had a huge urine bag hanging off the side of his wheelchair right out in the open. It was pretty gross because it was litterally a see through bag of yellow urine.... yuck... I felt compassion for the poor man however and felt he was a very dedicated servant to theHovah. So we get up to a house and I go to knock on the door, as I casually looked down I was horrified because right as the homeowner was about to open the door, this man in the wheelchair unveiled a long rubber tube that looked like a thin long condom, he then proceeded to let the urine in the bag squirt out into the bushes.... Literrally taken a leak right there in front of the homeowner and myself... Well at 14 years of age and having been pretty sheltered in my life I was speechless, the homeowner was speechless and looking back I just laugh my butt off thinkin about that experience of how I went out in service with a guy that took a leak right there at the door. Gives special meaning to the statement, door to door activity.

Mum

When my daughter was about six years old, we attended an assembly in Cincinnati, Ohio. We had a sister staying with us in the room, and things were hectic getting ready to go to the stadium. My daughter was about 6 years old and accustomed to dressing herself, as I had a philosophy of teaching her to do for herself according to her capacity.

Everything went fine. Everyone got a shower, got dressed, loaded up bookbags, and piled into the car.

We got to Three Rivers Stadium, which was fairly new at the time, and I was happy a glad to be there.

We were climbing steps to get to our seats, me holding my daughter's hand, while the sister accompanying us was walking behind us.

Imagine my surprise when the sister told me that my daughter wasn't wearing any panties!

Most Awkward, Embarrassing, Comical things you Experienced as a Witness ?

Share this