What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a JW say?

by Renegade 68 Replies latest jw friends

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Told in 91 I was foolish for starting a business when the end was coming in the next 5 years.

    Told that a particular JW chiropractor didn't like helping non JW patients because they were all going to die anyways.

    That Star Wars was an insult to God's creation. As told by a CO during the CA. He also went on and elaborated about how weddings nowadays were too over the top. He went on and bragged how his wedding reception consisted of the friends bringing meals and the sisters singing Kingdom melodies. We laughed about it afterwards.

    Buying a Lotto ticket is wrong but if someone gives u a ticket then it's ok to play. (Told by PO).

    Armageddon in 2005. 6030 years from the creation of Adam. When he turned 30 he was considered a "man" so it was logical to conclude that Eve was created then, thus ending the creative day. (I so wanted to call him on 1-1-2006.)

    Armageddon 2035. WT talking about how Noah preached for 120 years so they add that to 1914 and here we go again.

    When I asked a brother to find the original copy of the 1989 WT that spoke of the end happening by the end of the century, he complied and found it. When I asked him to read it he sighed, and then denied it was different from the bound volumes. I could tell he was lying.

    This stuff is just too easy

  • Devilsnok
    Devilsnok

    A circuit overseer telling us that god killed all the dinosaurs to make us oil!

  • lilyflor
    lilyflor

    I won't name names, but my mom said.....

    "jehovah save me from ever thinking for myself" in response to one of many discussions I've tried to have with her to get her to open her eyes to the WTS lies.

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    Somebody may have said this but their reply to being a MEMBER of the UNITED NATIONS:

    "We wanted to have access to their library" LOLOL!!

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    I was in a field slurvice van and the idiot was driving it. She was talking about a conversation she had with a Baptist. This particular Baptist told her that he had a problem with JWs because they "followed the teachings of men, not God" (meanwhile I'm cheering, "GO BAPTIST!! ).

    Her response?

    "Well, you guys are also following the teachings of men. Aren't you guys Baptists? So aren't you following A MAN, JOHN THE BAPTIST???"

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    I may have posted this before when I was around a couple of years ago - but this little gem came from the little old lady who studied with my parents before we became witnesses -

    She surmised that the annointed would become spirits which floated around in and out of the upper atmosphere in the new system, and that they would kind of direct things on the new earth. She confidently told my mother and I that it would make great sense that they would "draw their energy from the sun", because of course we all know that thesun is eternal and lasts forever.

    WTF??? I may have been a 12 year old kid, but I did win the school science award that year and knew perfectly well about the hydrogen-helium cycle of the sun. Whatever -

  • Pistoff
    Pistoff

    "oth of these are from the same Circuit Overseer.

    1) He was telling us how he was at a Bible study with a sister (he was accompanying her on HER study), and the lady student was a lesbian. He told her she needed to "start coming to the meetings, but she'd have to stop dressing like a dyke first." YES, that's a QUOTE. You should have heard the gasp in the KH. I was serving as an elder at the time, but was already starting my fade. He got a talking to by me about that one. I didn't care if he was pissed off or not. What he said was callous and wrong, both to her, and to repeat it from the platform as if he was proud of it.

    2) At the circuit assembly "business meeting" during lunch, he told the elders: "some of the pioneer sisters were wearing ankle bracelets and had multiple piercings in their ears. I call them TRY-A-NEERS, because I don't see why they even try."

    WAS THAT JACK THOMAS?

    Sure sounds like him.

    He told one congregation that just because their husbands slapped them up, that didn't mean they could go running to the elders.

    He said if I was hold my hours down to avoid becoming an elder, I should just wash it up.

    I could go on for hours about that cracker. He really was the worst excuse for a human being I ever knew; corrupt, mouthy, arrogant.

  • Kinjiro
    Kinjiro

    My all time favorite: You shall not buy Procter & Gamble products because they have a deal with da devil...LOL if you dont believe look at the moon and stars on the label!

    ROTFL... this one was even better than the one about the smurfs!

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    In the '70's a young 'reaching out' brother approached an elder and said "Brother--- is my hair too long?" Brother ---, who was nearly bald and what he had he kept buzz cut, replied "Well, if you have to ask, there's your answer" and walked away. I know this because the elder proudly told the story in the next elders meeting as though he had come up with a genius response.

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    There are many. I'll have to think about the all-time dumbest, but recently an elder from the stage recommended we study the older publications and how beneficial to do so because the teachings haven't changed because God's truth doesn't change.

    *slaps head*

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