What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a JW say? (page 3)

FreedomFrog

He said "Yes". Well there you have it believe in God and never go hungry.

Well, you may have to go hungry in "this system" but your prayers will be answered when you're resurrected. While alive and going through hardship it's a "test"..Whatever

besty

"We have the true religion"

Ye - you and everybody else that has a religion - they're all 'true' you muppets.

Where do you start? One of the best was this; "The brothers, not the organisation, got over excited about 1975. And, after all, the society did apologise later on, for any part they played in heightening expectation". I think I remember reading the 'apology'. It was more of an accusation than an apology.

minimus

"If the Society said this green Bible was black, then I believe it's black"......Something like this was said by various COs.

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Dumbest:

Both of these are from the same Circuit Overseer.

1) He was telling us how he was at a Bible study with a sister (he was accompanying her on HER study), and the lady student was a lesbian. He told her she needed to "start coming to the meetings, but she'd have to stop dressing like a dyke first." YES, that's a QUOTE. You should have heard the gasp in the KH. I was serving as an elder at the time, but was already starting my fade. He got a talking to by me about that one. I didn't care if he was pissed off or not. What he said was callous and wrong, both to her, and to repeat it from the platform as if he was proud of it.

2) At the circuit assembly "business meeting" during lunch, he told the elders: "some of the pioneer sisters were wearing ankle bracelets and had multiple piercings in their ears. I call them TRY-A-NEERS, because I don't see why they even try."

Funniest:

Service Meeting part about incidental (informal) Witnessing. Sister raises her hand and starts to mention how they witnessed to the waitress at Hooters... then she stopped suddenly, realizing some would be offended by "Hooters", and said in her perfect Asian accent "BUT WE ONLY GO DARE FOR DA VINGS!!" and handed the microphone back to the brother without finishing her story. Everybody was DYING.....

caliber

This is more humorous than dumb .... At a WT study a conductor is pointing to the back row & says .. yes Sister" Pain in

rear " your comment please ! ( of course her name was Pain ) he he he

Elder prayer..... and Jehovah forgive us for our falling shorts (short-comings )

Caliber

Low-Key Lysmith

My mom told me once that my reluctance to help out the family by scooping up dog turds was most certainly "hurting Jehovah's feelings".

The Lone Ranger

I liked Mr Majestic’s one, i find that one the funniest so far...

Her solution was quite an easy one. This is what she said in all seriousness. (I kid you not)

"Maybe we can actually fly and we just haven’t worked out how to yet. All we need is to be shown by Jehovah".

My comment on that ....Maybe God will show us how to use our farts as Jet Propulsion, hahaha.

My personal experience wasn’t a funny one but here it is.. I helped out a Sister who was having trouble with an Elder, this Elder didn’t like me helping her out, since it was him that was giving her a hard time. but cutting to the chase, the C/O got involved, he said to me... " if the Elders couldn’t help her, you shouldn’t have..." nice comment eh????? Speaks volumes about their love. After that I started to look at the internet, I should thank him.

Renegade

Another thing I found horrendously stupid was when I was at a meeting one time and I heard them complaining about 'apostasy'.

The speaker said,

"These apostates are outrageous. They are even trying to get people to listen to their views by putting things in the newspaper!"

So we aren't allowed to put something in a newspaper that no one is being forced to read while they go around to people's houses constantly nagging them taking a magazine?

jookbeard

isn't there a scripture in the NWMistranslation in the O/T where Moses say's "excuse me Jehovah"

What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a JW say?