I think I just need to tell the story to someone who will get it?

by aimless 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • atpeace

    welcome to the board! everytime i here a story like yours, i feel sick inside. i was raised as a jw from birth to a family that would have been considered a main family unit in the hall.

    i have had doubts my entire life. i have experienced ridiculous judicial commities as well. and i thought it was me - that if i was a stronger better person i would fit in.

    i've come to realize though i am a good, thoughtful, hard-working, open minded individual. i saw some advice on seeing a therapist - i did, and it helped me so much to not only get my feelings out, but to also see how much my childhood affected me.

    once out, i too was embarrssed to mention my past. but i soon found out that "worldly" people are usually open-minded and just curious. the single thing that helped me the most was coming to this site, reading all the books suggested. i then stopped feeling guilty because i had developed my own belief system, and most importantly, saw the jw's as not having the answers and in fact be very mislead.

  • truthsetsonefree

    Boy have you come to the right place! Just about everyone here "gets it"! Welcome.



  • Quirky1

    Welcome Aimless!

  • momzcrazy

    Hello aimless. I had a hard time when I left too. I recently started therapy, and am now the poster child! I love it and recommend it very much. Even if they don't understand the JW world, they are good at helping you find yourself and renew your soul.


  • Mr Ben
    Mr Ben

    Aimless - Hello, welcome and.................. CONGRATULATIONS!

    That's right - congratulations! You extracted yourself from a dangerous cult and you are still only 20 yrs old! I didn't escape until my 30's! Many not until much older. You have so much life to look forward too! And what is more, having had a cult experience so early on in life you will not likely be caught by one again!

    As to your shame at being involved can I point out 2 things: 1) They are a large, well financed efficient brain-washing organisation. 2) You were just a child.

    You were a victim of a cult. You successfully escaped without help from anyone! Incredible! So well done!

    As to being aimless about what to do with your life.... well, you'll just have learn who you are and what it is you want from life, and that just takes time. But when you know, it will be YOUR decisions about YOUR life, rather that being a drone of the Unspeakable anf Filthful Slave, wasting your youth in endless Field Circus and Boasting Sessions etc etc.

    So cheer up! YOU ARE ALREADY A WINNER!


    PS - If you want an insight on how they got you read Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan. It is not about JW's but about the Moonies, but the insights apply perfectly to the JW's as well. There are also loads of sites on the net about the Witlesses.

  • Ruth Eeker
    Ruth Eeker

    Welcome to the best therapy board you can find.


    Hi Aimless,

    Welcome to the board. Your story is a sad one in some ways, but I dare say you are showing some strength and independence which sounds healthy to me. Your jw boyfriend sounds like a controling jerk, who tried to manipulate you and intimidate you into staying with him. I’m glad you have stayed true to yourself. Your current boyfriend sounds like a much nicer human being.

    The jw religion appears very dysfunctional, with heavy rules (like the Pharisees that Jesus condemned). The jws compound and heap guilt, which can never be healed no matter how much you try to work it off, as long as you stay in the jws or try to be friends with the jws. “Do more!” and belief in “not good enough” are very much a part of their core belief system.

    I believe the only way to deal with jws is to stay far away from them because you can never please them. The religion appears judgmental and unforgiving. I didn’t want to have qualities like that, so I had to leave the religion. I am a forgiving person and I don’t wish to judge anyone. The best I can do is find my own self and take care of my health in all its aspects (spiritual, mental, financial, and emotional). Part of taking care of my health and my self is to stay far away from the jws.

    I figure you are well on your way to health and wellness. The only thing I suggest is you might want to talk to your family doctor about what you are going through.



  • still_in74


    I am inactive but I am still in the org. my wife is JW and all my family and freinds. I have had my eyes opened and despite having a hard time taking a stand I have come to one conclusion so far - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING THE LIFE GOD GAVE YOU

    The org. has controlled all of us with guilt. Everything you did and didnt do (college for example) was because of guilt. We were trained to make decisions based on guilt.
    This is NOT how the "happy god" would have wanted us to use this gift of life. It would rather be an insult to him to waste it this way, sitting around waiting for Him to "fix" it for us.

    Continue to be a good person, live and enjoy life, experiences places and people, go on vacations, educate your mind, pursue goals and a career. CONTRIBUTE to society and ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

    keep coming here for support, you will find many shoulders to cry on.


  • BluesBrother

    Welcome to Aimless...yes I think we "get it"..you really have to have been on the inside to understand what it is like..We are all still recovering here, thats why we come on and get together..We are glad to have you here...keep posting

  • CandleLight

    I just dont know what to do I have what appears to be anxiety disorder that i developed while i was still in it... i get depressed and stressed out and i start throwing up for no reason. I guess Im just looking for a sympathetic ear? If anyone has any advice on coping... please share. Its still really hard. I left it at such a weird time and had been so dedicated that i had 1 friend from high school and a few friends left at work after it was done. I feel so socially awkward and removed from people now that i just dont even feel like i know how to socailize.. sorry for the ling as post... and thanks for reading... -aimless

    Aimless- I get it. My heart is with you. Hang in there and don't let your body punish you for the pain your mind is in, sometimes we try self-dicipline, even if we don't deserve it. I am at work now, but expect a PM from me tomorrow.

    Please know, those men do not speak for God. You are dearly Loved in Heaven.



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