welcome to the board! everytime i here a story like yours, i feel sick inside. i was raised as a jw from birth to a family that would have been considered a main family unit in the hall.
i have had doubts my entire life. i have experienced ridiculous judicial commities as well. and i thought it was me - that if i was a stronger better person i would fit in.
i've come to realize though i am a good, thoughtful, hard-working, open minded individual. i saw some advice on seeing a therapist - i did, and it helped me so much to not only get my feelings out, but to also see how much my childhood affected me.
once out, i too was embarrssed to mention my past. but i soon found out that "worldly" people are usually open-minded and just curious. the single thing that helped me the most was coming to this site, reading all the books suggested. i then stopped feeling guilty because i had developed my own belief system, and most importantly, saw the jw's as not having the answers and in fact be very mislead.