Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a little while, I've been checking the forum and reading up on what everyone has to say but I knew if i sat down to type a response that it might take me awhile because i would become involved in it. I'm very taken back at the volume of response I got here... thank you very much all of you. I've read some fantastic things that have helped me start to re work my thinking and be less depressed. Unfortunately in response to college I'm afraid at the moment it's not in the cards for me... i never qualified for financial aid and I don't have the money not only to attend but I don't have the time at hand to go.. I work an awful lot. I am trying to start up a little e-business for myself but it's a lot of work to get into and I've been struggling with A LOT of self doubt as of recent.... so I'm sitting back and trying to build confidence right now. Im trying to start with very little things right now... you know make time to play video games and remember that I am a person outside of the organization that had hobbies and interests. The other day my mother apologized to me for letting the jehovah's witness thing happen and I'm sure blames her self for my immediate move out on a daily basis so i can't help but feel justice is a little served and for the most part i can patch things up with them now as long as we don't ever talk about jehovah's witnesses or any of the people I used to know.... I'm considering seeing a therapist... if anything to help talk all this out and maybe get out some of my aimless feelings. I feel like I'm drifting with no purpose... I'm not sure if thats only compounded by the restlessness that im sure everyone gets at 20 but i just feel like I'm going crazy some times... It feels like every little thing is crushing on me and I have a very serious fear of the world ending... I try not to think about it because it makes me feel really erratic but when it comes to my mind I just get realy upset and feel very anxious to go and do something to enjoy this short life that I have.... things seem so much smaller when your told your going to live forever.... It's like all of a sudden we're mortal again... and I'm terrified of how short our time is here.... I dont know that's just more useless venting I think and I'm not sure if there's anything to really say to console someone about something so weird like that... thank you for all your input everyone it's helpful. I'm glad I have somewhere to lean. -Aimless
I think I just need to tell the story to someone who will get it?
Welcome to JWD.
Another great read you might want to consider is "Captives of a Concept" by Don Cameron.
Don't rent too much space in your head to those who failed you in the past, clear out that space for yourself and who you want to be.
$th grade, really. I'm surprised there isn't a "hanging out in playgrounds with candy" ministry these "people" are such predators.
Good riddance to bad rubbish, and congrats on getting out and finding love.