Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ImFreeatlast

    It took a long time, but I can finally say I'm out and I took my family with me.

    This is my first post but I have been reading here for a while. I was brought up a Witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought). I didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'. When I was 14 I got baptised because it was 'the right thing to do', and I even started pioneering at 16 because everyoine in my family did and it was expected of me. But I never really believed it. Isn't it amazing that they can make you think its the only way to have friends?

    When I was 20 got married to an awesome girl and there the problems started. My perents refused to support the wedding because we were 'too young', even though the rules on sex mean that you have to get married early if you want to have a proper relationship (no that that stopped us ). My dad even got up on the platform during a service meeting and gave a talk on the dangers of getting married young and how the congregation shouldnt support such young weddings... Needless to say my relationship with my family went madly downhill from there.

    I would of been happy to leave at that time but I was just married and my wife was still a believer and was, and still is very close to her family. I was determined that while I wanted out I wasnt going to lose my family (being my wife and 2 daughters) over any religion. S I started a slow fade... to cut a long story short I managed to get my wife to see reality and then we successfully managed to fade while living next door to an elder (Im proud of that bit). We havent been to a meeting for 2 years now and are celebrating xmas and birthdays with our girls, and my wife's family still associates with her. While it may come crashing down at some point, at this stage it is looking good.

    Sorry for the long post, but I just felt the need to share my story after reading everyone else's encouraging posts here.

  • Hortensia

    very nice news!

  • oompa

    Awesome mate! and now share how you got your wife to see reality with the rest of us here with still believing mates.........thanks and good luck!........oompa

  • ImFreeatlast

    Thanks oompa. Well I'm not going to say it was easy or quick, but it started with knowing an elder who was a pedophile. And then the final clicher was admiting to her that I was really confused over the GB's use of the dates to and from 1914, and then asking her to help me in a family study to review them.... It took 2 months of study for her to admit they made it all up, but it was worth it.

  • Lo-ru-hamah

    Happy for you and your family. Merry Christmas - well, in a few months anyway.


  • BFD

    Welcome, Freeatlast!

    I was going to ask the same question oompa asked. There are many posters here that have spouses trapped in.


    PS- Merry Christmas!

  • lrkr


    You should write a book on how to do it.

    I'm happy for you. I'm working on the same thing.

  • megaflower

    cheers mate and congrads

  • easyreader1970

    I am happy for you. My wife refuses to see anything so I am in the opposite position. So I am stuck "pretending".

  • ImFreeatlast

    Thanks BFD and Irkr.

    Maybe I should start a new topic on how to help get spouses out... I was 'blessed' (if you can call it that) by having a family that was very 'spiritual' so we spent a lot of time studying, that helped to know what sort of questions to ask. The biggest piece of advice i can give is not to say you dont believe it but to say I dont understand it, that way they dont clam up and shut themselves in the 'its from the governing body mode'. If you get them to help you understand it the way they do, then you can start to ask questions that normaly would scream 'appostate' to them. even better they start to ask themselves questions. Well my wife did anyway.

    Now we just have to work on her family too.

    PS can anyone tell me how to copy parts of a post to reply to it?

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