11 years old. I don't remember why, but I was feeling insecure about life in general (not about "the truth"). I laid in my bed and prayed to Jehovah telling him that I want to know "the Truth" to "really understand".
I basically didn't understand why people behave the way they do, I always felt like people were either super ignorant or else knew something I didn't and I couldn't decide which, but "something was going on" that I wasn't a party to, because I couldn't understand. I asked Jehovah to fill me in, it was the most sincere, intense prayer I ever prayed. I shit you not, Jehovah answered my prayer, when I woke up the next morning I didn't "believe" anything. I don't mean I was somehow disappointed, and so started to doubt, I mean the entire sense of "believing" anything left me and I became completely agnostic about everything, religion and even basic assumptions any person would make about life. I began to feel like the most mundane things were completely insane, just existing felt like a combination of a miracle and a nightmare. Life is extraordinary, specifically because it is a mystery. Nothing is "normal". 27 years ago, I didn't exist, now I do and am made of matter, the same stuff everything else is made of, in less than 60 years I will probably die without any idea how that happened. Whatever it is, I'm sure it is not a tradgedy, so i do not miss faith in god. If you knew me during my later High School days, you'd remember me as that wierd kid who would blurt things out like "Reality is very, very real".
Sit quietly someplace, sometime, and just think about "how real" the world around you is. Maybe you'll understand what I mean.
Every day since has been a naked journey, looking at what generations of people have thought before me, trying to draw my own conclusions/decisions, and being absolutely sure I know nothing and this life is more extraordinary, strange, terrible and wonderful than I think most people understand. We were impossible, everything we have thought about what we are is probably bullshit, and here we are, what are we? "Spiritual enlightenment" and peace have come from completely losing my faith in god. Its not a sad thing somehow, its liberating.
It is what it is regardless of what you think about it - Mortimer Adler
It is the fool who knows everything, the truly wise know that they know nothing - No idea who said that, but I would guess he/she was an agnostic.
Oh, and on JW's specifically, in college my "this isn't truth" solidified to "this is a cult" because I came to understand the parallels to every other kind of human dogma and control. I also lost a girlfriend who basically left me for not being a good JW (not sure how stuffing her tongue down my throat, sneaking around etc, puts her in any place to judge, but I didn't mind if she wasn't a good JW), seeing someone I loved reject me on the unspoken orders of the cult had a big effect. I was already gone by then though.
There is nothing new under the sun. On Christianity in general, I truly cannot understand how anyone cannot understand that "sinning against god, so god has to sacrifice 'his only begotten son' to repay the debt uhh, to god" doesn't make any sense at all, is pretty much the stupidest transparent doublespeak I can imagine.
My fundamental theorum on truth is that when i know the meaning of all things...... It is unlikely that I will think it is retarded, if god exists and punishes me for missing on this point so be it!!!
..... so then I'll go to hell!!! - Huckleberry Finn on deciding to break the law and help Jim escape his captors.