by bluesbreaker59 67 Replies latest jw friends
I agree that you send their invitations, then don't make excuses for them at all.
"Where's your dad?"
Instead of "Well, I am disfellowshipped by JW's which means people like my dad
are told to shun me totally."
You answer, "He was invited. You might ask him what happened."
Congrats and move ahead. Don't dwell on this sucky religious cult.
(Yeah, like I do.)
Bluesbreaker59,
Dealing with active witnesses is stressful and hard. I have not had contact with my sister's son in 7 years. My nephew and his family are active witnesses. I checked with my brother to see if they had heard from them and he said no. Well I am an ex-witnesses and they view me as apostate I suppose. My sister was not a witness but her son is and married into it. My brother is also not a JW. I tried to keep up with them just for family things but when I discovered he and his family had moved I tried to call their new phone number I found through ancestry.com. His wife informed me never to call there ever again and hung up on me. She was a Bit__ before and was mean to my sister but I have to say her hatred rather surprised me. Even as JW I was was never that mean to anyone, well probably close at times. Anyway JW family mentality is no one is right but them.
I hope your Dad will give in and go and enjoy your day of happiness.
Balsam
This pisses me off. What the hell is wrong with this friggin cult???
I'd send a letter to everyone on your list and tell them your dad isn't going for religious reasons and to please not ask you about it because you want to enjoy your wedding day despite his religious beliefs...
why do anything? Just say to your dad, "well, if that's your choice, go ahead. We'll miss you at the wedding." It's his loss and he'll probably regret it someday. As for other people, you don't have to explain anything. You can say, "oh let's not spoil a wonderful day." And change the subject. The folks who ask will then scurry around and get the gossip from someone else.
Hello BB59, I am sorry to hear you are in this situation. My in-laws are Die Hard Jdubs too and this sounds like something they would do. This is a persons happiest monet and for your own relatives not to be there would be very disappointing. Maybe he will have second thoughts and reconsider. I don't know if he will or not because that is the same JW mindset my in-laws have. Is it right? "No".
Before my departure from Jdubville my children have confronted me with this very same thing and I assured them that I would be at any wedding they chose, whether part of Jdubland or not. I was their parent and by damn I was going to be there.
I will say tho that your father will "probably" regret it if he doesn't show, even if he doesn't he should.
I hope you the best!
Quirky1
My Dad didn't come to my wedding either. He made up all kinds of excuses to my wife and I. I knew the real reason though. Funny, my grandma (his mom) also a JW, let the cat out of the bag and told Amanda the 'real' reason why she and the rest of the family wouldn't be attending. I think grandma must have missed that Watchtower study about "theocratic warfare strategy"
Sorry you are going through this, if anyone asks just tell them the truth about it. Covering it over only helps to protect the WT Society's image. People need to know that this is a family wrecking cult.
I think they would like nothing more than to bust up the marriage and drag you back in the cancer. Then you will have to drag her into the cancer in order to have any chance of marrying. Then, they will tell you that it is not good to marry too soon after baptism, and bumble that out while they are waiting for someone else to take her out from under your feet.
From there, you are game for that Value Destroyer Training School. I definitely recommend you to avoid that at all costs! And, if you don't believe me, then talk to SnakesInTheTower about it. He was in it, and can back up my claim that it is not worth going to.
Instead, I suggest getting married anyways. In a church. If certain family members cannot make it because of the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger, they are the ones that are going to lose out.
WTWizard,
Again, man, WAY OVER THE TOP...
I'm not going back to that damn cult, EVER!!! My future wife and I enjoy our church that we attend very much, and NO ONE can make me go back to that cult. She is a pastor's daughter, and she also WILL NOT go. I respect her father a great deal as a pastor, and her father, but even moreso, as a highly intelligent man that has a lot of spiritual knowledge. And NO ONE, will be "busting up" my marriage or taking her away from me. If witnesses ever make the mistake of knocking on my door, it will be a day they regret for a long time...
I feel really sorry for you my friend. I`m experiencing similar things, I recently mailed my resignation and have no contact with the part of my family that are JW. Be strong, and be proud of the fact that you managed to get out of this evil cult!
My parents didn't come to my wedding either, I really didn't care. If they didn't support me I'd rather they not be there anyway.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, but don't let that spoil your day. The people that do attend, those are the people (family or friends) that will be there to support you through your marraige, good times and bad. Send the invitations and if they respond that they won't be there, forget about it and move on. Be thankfull to the flying spaghetti monster for those who love you enough to be there for you.
nj
