Send us all invites, we'll come....with bells on
God dammit!!! I hate this cult!
I called him up this morning, and said, "Hey, I didn't like how our conversation concluded yesterday, we need to talk about that" in a very FIRM, bassy voice. He promised he'd call me back this afternoon, and arrange a time to meet with me. I STILL have NOT heard from him. My guess is he doesn't want to confront me, because he knows what I'm going to tell him, plus I'm not the easiest person to "confront", most people avoid it with me. In addition to that, I know HIS bible just as good as he does, and I have more than average intelligence, so debating isn't fun either. So I'm really curious, if he'll say anything or not, my guess is he'll take the chicken way out, and avoid me for a while. Plus he knows if he says no, that I will tell him that I don't ever want him around my kids, and I CAN hold a grudge really well.
I remember the last "confrontation" I had with the elders, they were "counseling" me about some sort of BS... I spoke to them with my "big boy voice", and slammed my fists down on the table while stating my points (using scriptural references too), and was pointing and gesturing at them like they had never seen. They stayed really quiet and still until I was done, and then they very politely asked me to leave.
I followed up with my aunt today too, she IS coming, now. She said she couldn't deal with the shame of not going, so that is great. At least one normal one from that side. I think he'll give in eventually, and just come to the wedding, which is fine with me. I don't want any Dubs being "kill joys" at the reception.
Why did you get disfellowshipped? Afterall, did YOU decide to get baptized? Did YOU know the consequences of UNREPENTANT WRONGDOING? Did YOU do it anyway, sit in on YOUR judicial hearing, and show an UNREPENTANT ATTITUDE? Did YOU turn your back on your dad, Jehovah, and other family members? But, NOW you want them to attend YOUR wedding day? Did your caring and loving father that raised you since you were 5 years old after your mom abandoned you try to help you spiritually? Did you IGNORE his pleas?
So, in a nutshell, you selfishly went on with YOUR life with little or no regard for others that cared for YOU and NOW you want them to join in YOUR wedding celebration? Pure hubris.
That's funny, beroean. I was just talking to a pysychologist friend about the deep consequences of shunning on JW family life. She noted that child can't display a shade of independence from his parents without severe consequences. This causes some parents and children to disengage themselves, emotionally. The price is just too high to care too much.
They also SELFISHLY, raised me a witless and wouldn't allow me to research any other religions or lines of thinking.
I've had to deal with a JW funeral, why can't they come and observe me and my future wife on the happiest day of our life? Have you forgot what it is to be human? To FEEL?
Are you familiar with "The Prodigal Son"??? It never said he had to go the elders and repent, and then go to 6-12 months of meetings afterwards, rather he just returned to his father, and was FORGIVEN.
Witnesses forget that Jesus taught about LOVE, and FORGIVENESS, all they see and remember is punishment. What were the greatest commandments? Oh yes, they dealt with LOVE... So how loving is it for an organization to come between parents and children? To say you can't speak or see them? Because of a very minor indescretion. The Bible only instructs us to go to god in prayer for forgiveness, I've done that, and I live a very good Christian life, trying to be the best person I can be everyday, and make my community a better place to live by showing LOVE to others, and HELPING others.
What do JW's do for their community? They wake people on Saturdays, to try and sell magazines, and convert them, and ask them to "question and examine" their faith. Meanwhile the JW's aren't allowed to do research on their own because "mother" doesn't allow it, and "mother" fears that the REAL TRUTH about the TROOF will get out there.
I recommend that you examine yourself, and your relationship with Christ, before you come throwing stones at me.
Kudos to you bluesbreaker. Don't let him bother you...
And all of them will ask, "Where is your dad?"
Perhaps you could plan on saying something like, "Dad was invited, but he chose not to come because we don't agree about religion. Since I attend a different church than him he did not want to attend the wedding".
If they ask for more information, I suppose you could offer to provide details later, after the wedding when the timing is better for talking about such things.
As to the comments marked in red, don't let it get to you. Those comments serve a purpose; to remind us how desperately JWs want to transfer the responsiblity for their actions onto others.
I'm sure your dad loves you. I am also certain he hates himself. Feel sorry for him for sure. But as far as restricting him access to your kids,It would be extremely unfair to your kids. After all, they are the ones who should make any decision down the road. Of course it should never be unsupervised. Restricting them would be similar to shunning him for being a Witness. We all here must prove we are better than they are programmed to believe. When in doubt , take the high road.
How about this:
"Dad, if you don't go to my wedding all of your friends are going to ask why you aren't there. I would hate to have to tell them that it is because we have religious disagreements. I don't want to make it a bad witness for them, and I doubt you do either. You probably would hurt the organization more by not going."
Just a thought.
Congrats on your wedding!
At the time of Dave's and I wedding his great-grandmother was very ill. So I assumed that is why his dad's side of the family would not be there. We went to the hosiptal where his great-grandmother was to visit with the family, while Dave was saying good-bye to his Granny, his family pulls me out to the side to tell that the reason why they can't be at out wedding was because it was all my fault. Because I wasn't a JW. And that I was following my beliefs of having a Methodist preacher marry us. Even though I had already given up my dreams of the "Church wedding". For the entire time Dave and I were together I always tried to please that side of the family. It finally dawned on me that the only way I was ever going to please that was if I became one of them and that was not happening!
My Dad wasn't at my wedding either, not biological father. The man who raised me and care for me while I was growning up was there, he was the one who walked me down the isle. It is very hard to come from a family that has different beliefs and has divorce parents or even grandparents. I don't wish that on anyone.
I say you and your girlfriend have a great wedding! because it sounds like you 2 deserve it. And you dad will have to answer for the biggest mistake of his life later when the time is right!
I always thought that this saying was funny "you can pick your friends, but you sure in the hell can't pick your family"
LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE,
ROCK CHALK JAYHAWKS!!!!!!!!!!! #1!!!!!