Will Remarrying Lead to DFing? (page 2)

Burger Time

The question is, what won't lead to dfing?

Here's something that I've wondered about: Tim and Tammy are married. Bob and Becky are married. Tim and Becky cheat on their spouses then marry each other, DF and eventually they are both reinstated. Neither Tammy or Bob ever remarry or date anyone else. What is the status of the two who cheated? Are they still considered adulterers?

Rabbit

Ya' just never know. What with the JW's bragging "We, all over the world, believe in exactly the same thing. We speak with one voice." I used to believe that cat crap, until the internet exposed The Truth ™ for what is truly is...

By their rules, I should have been DF...for adultery...upon remarrying. My ex left me, when she determined I was a "spiritual danger" to her and our children. My crime was stopping almost all meetings and I had the audacity to question some of the GB's rules and flip-flops.

The CO and a committee of 3 elders listened to both of us and decided since there was no violence, non-support or fornication/adultery, there was no "scriptural right" to separate or divorce. She said she was "gonna do it anyway... get a Civil Divorce." They told us neither of us could ever re-marry -- without committing adultery (unless the other did it 1st) and that person would be DF.

They said, I was the "innocent spouse" and she "...would be looked upon as 'not exemplary'." She lost her "privileges" as punishment. I'm not sure if anyone even noticed she could only be the 'householder' now, instead of the 'study conductor' or 'door-knocker' in the TMS.

Wow! They sure showed her !

Anyway, a few celibate years go by, I changed congos, then faded altogether. After a while I met my Queen of Hearts and very publicly married her. Not one of the 125 JW's I invited showed up. The other (worldly) half...did.

I fully expected, with 3 generations of JWs and Elder heavy...somebody would drop a dime on me. I refused to get married quietly, as if I was ashamed.

But, nuttin'. It actually hurt my feelings for a little while...like I was so un-important that I didn't warrant going after.

I got over that.

chickpea

jaguarbass: If you want to remain a JW for whatever reason do whatever you want, remary, suffer the consequence disfellowshiping. Sit in the back of the hall for 3 to 6 months get reinstated, everyone will be estatic and happy, and your good to go.
You belong to a ritualistic religion and disfellowshiping is one of their rituals

this precise situation happened in the KH i attended..... he divorced a shrew of a wife, who was righteous overmuch, headed downstate to a different congro, married, got d/f and was reinstated .... all within a year.... it was painfully obvious who won ( if being reinstated as a JW can be counted as winning)

OnTheWayOut

Here's something that I've wondered about: Tim and Tammy are married. Bob and Becky are married. Tim and Becky cheat on their spouses then marry each other, DF and eventually they are both reinstated. Neither Tammy or Bob ever remarry or date anyone else. What is the status of the two who cheated? Are they still considered adulterers?

Amber Rose, Bob and Becky were scripturally freed by mates that rejected them.
Tim and Tammy- the elders have been counseled to take a long time to reinstate scheme-hatchers
but they would eventually get reinstated if they silently sit there at virtually every meeting and
then write good letters for reinstatement. That same counsel tells the elders to let their scheme
follow them in any letters of introduction or anyplace they tried to get reinstated at after moving.
The elders were told that such people would have to wait a loooooooooooong time before ever being
considered for privileges (like they would really care).

So they would have to be repentant but also would have to be considered a married couple.
They could not pioneer and he would not be used for anything except toilet-cleaning at the hall.
(Seriously) Perhaps after 10 years (usually less) he could show what a kiss-ass he is and be
considered for MS and they could aux. pioneer.

This is still a way that some JW's get what they want.

jamiebowers

These stories about schemes are very sad to me. I didn't have the time or inclination to scheme my way out of a dangerous marriage to an abusive jw husband. I offered to d/a myself when I realized that my only two choices were to stay and be a better wife and wait on Jehovah (as the elders continually encouraged me to do) or divorce and wait around for him to commit adultery. I was df'd instead. He remarried very quickly. The irony was that my ex's uncle who was an elder wanted me to warn that poor woman about how crazy he was. Since I wanted to do nothing to bring that lunatic back into my life, I refrained. I was newly baptized and new to the congregation, and not one person warned me about him. After I got married, his mother admitted to me that he used to hit her. This organization is full of shit.

LisaRose

I knew of a situation where an Elder who had a disabled wife claimed that she had admitted to him that she had commited adultery years before. He was able to divorce her and marry his ex-wife's nurse, who just happened to be much younger and attractive. The wife was too ga ga to confirm or deny the story. Even the most credulous knew it was all a crock so he could get rid of the inconvenient wife and get the new young honey.

FlyingHighNow

I don't live near my old congo. I lived with Andy for six years and I was not dfed.

momzcrazy

Only if you tell them and agree to meet with them. I was told my smoking and holiday celebrating would only be dealt with if I went back to meetings. I have heard that before, no punishment unless you set foot back in the Hall.

You know what? This is our one life, our one shot at it and it goes by way too damn quick. If you found love you should enjoy it and not worry about stupid rules made up by stupid men. Go for it!

momz

searchingforfriends

I think it's rediculous to limit women in their options for dealing with an abusive relationship! I made the choice to divorce my abusive JW ex-husband and all through the process I have been made to feel like the bad-guy. Within the first week of leaving he was "sorry" so the elders felt I should try and reconsile. I told them that you can't do something for years and then because someone tells on you be truly repentant within days. It just doesn't work that way. I went through with the divorce and have met the love of my life and couldn't be happier. Now I just have to figure my way through the parental issues..... GL to all that are in this type of situation.

Will Remarrying Lead to DFing?

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