Amber Rose
JoinedHere's a little bit aobut me. I grew up in a "divided household" with my mother being baptized when I was a pre-schooler. I immediately hated the Kingdom Hall and thought that the JW's were weird. I refused to pay attention because my impression as 3-4 year old was that this was the church that makes people fight (I find out 20-some years later that I was right!)and could not figure out why my mom wanted us to attend.Plus it wasn't fair that my dad didn't have to go. Eventually as a teenager I started feeling pressure to get baptized. So I did. But as I had trained myself "from infancy onward" not to pay attention at meetings, I really didn't know much. Then as a much older, much wiser, idealistic teenager I concluded based on the most simplistic and uninformed reasoning that "this must be the truth!". I decided to save the world and started pioneering. I started reading every magazine cover to cover, scrutinizing every moronic lesson, commenting, the works. That's when questions started arising but I blamed myself for being too dumb and not studying enough. Eventually I got bored and slacked off but figured it was ok because I was soon to marry a MS who really knew his stuff. Little did I know, he was bored with this stuff too and was starting to have doubts. We got married and everything was grand until the congregation started acting crappy towards us, mostly towards my husband. This was a pretty hard blow to me "spiritually" and I feared that we would "fall out of the truth". My husband was growing less content with the WTS. He would tell me his feelings and critscisms about the meetings, I would cry and yell, fearing he would die at Armagedon. After several months of this, one day I realized that I never belived any of this, read Crisis of Conscious and ended up here. My mission is to help my mom see that she really doesn't want to be a JW and we all get out for good.