Dear Friends,
I appreciate your replies and willingness to open up. It's a difficult subject
for some of us to discuss, yet I needed some answers regardless.
Please be assured of my gratitude.
Love,
CoCo
Will Remarrying Lead to DFing?
by compound complex 33 Replies latest jw friends
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compound complex
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hillbilly
My ex left me over spiritual endangerment issue. I remarried. I think (at least the way I read it) she is responible (in God's eye) for any adultry that may consitute on my part.
As for the Elders... I think they know they are holding a hot potato on this one... I have never heard squat from them about any action.
Of course, after a bunch from her hall showed up to clean my house out of furniture, linens, food and whatever else they thought they could take...he, he , he...
I had about 10 of them escorted away by the local Deputies... then I let it be know that anymore trespassers would be shot if need be... Well maybe thats why I havent heard from the BOE.
Hill
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compound complex
Hillbilly:
and
Thanks,
CoCo
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FlyingHighNow
Of course, after a bunch from her hall showed up to clean my house out of furniture, linens, food and whatever else they thought they could take...he, he , he...
I had about 10 of them escorted away by the local Deputies... then I let it be know that anymore trespassers would be shot if need be... Well maybe thats why I havent heard from the BOE.
This is funny. I do think you shoulda given her the pots and pans and ironing board though, as a gesture of *cough* goodwill.
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dinah
searching,
If those elders had a CLUE, they would know the man is always horribly sorry after an abusive night. Work it out, my ass! You did the right thing. That's what abusive men fall back on. They are soooo remorseful, and will treat you like a queen the day after.
Elders should really get a clue and stay out of the marriage counseling business.
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flipper
Exactly ! What Dinah said ! " Elders should really get a clue and stay out of the marriage counseling business" ! Ain't that the truth ! 5 years ago Elders told me to go back to a methamphetamine addicted wife ! I told them to blow it out their own nose ! No insult intended- but they really are dumb as rocks
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FlyingHighNow
So, Coco, when are you popping the question?
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WTWizard
Here is another example of how they create hoops solely to dissuade people from marrying. A couple can separate, but without the right to remarry, for extreme physical abuse, absolute spiritual endangerment, or willful non-support of the family. Only if one of the parties does fornication is the other free to remarry, and then you would need to provide some proof that the other party did the fornication.
All of which makes absolutely no sense. If they want someone to remain single for life, they will interpret it so they cannot marry, no matter what (too "new in the cancer", too weak in the cancer, let's wait to see if we can find another guy for that potential partner, etc.).
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sammielee24
What could the local congregation do if they learned that either one of the above (faded, ex, whatever) remarries?
Disfellowshipped. If a JW divorces and has faded somewhat and he has a spiteful exwife,family or kids, then the minute they hear that he/she is remarried, they can draw attention to him/her by going directly to their elders - that is grounds for disfellowshipping on the basis of adultery. Now - if you have no family inside then it doesn't have any bearing on you. sammieswife.
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hillbilly
The pots, pans, lines and ironing board... I would not have given a rat's a$$ about household stuff, except.
When she left she, she walked in on our 14 year olds breakfast, told him she was out...asked if he would like to go. He laughed at her, said if anyone should be leaving, it should be Dad walking out on mom and he finished his corn flakes. So, I needed my stuff to raise a child.
He is a college junior now. She told the judge she needed $x for a suitable place for him to visit...yet she asked for no visitation. I think he spend less than 15 hours with her all through high school ... and she lived less than 10 miles away.
He asked her for a little help with college... say $1000 year for pocket expenses. She declined. I have picked up all of the parental student loans... she has not helped him with as little as a dollar for college.
My lawyer told me to release her personal things and enough furniture to get her started. Her lawyer was on board with this. She, and a bunch of JWS came over and I let them load enough furniture to stock a small home and her stuff. They ran out of room and needed to come back to get a bed and a couple of odd things. I told her to come back next Saturday at a specific time and I would let her in for the stuff.
The day she was supposed to be there ...well she was late so I called. She said she could not get help to load so she would call it off.
She figured I would leave... I pulled my car behind the barn. Sure enough, in about an hour she showed up with half the Kingdom Hall and 10 pickup trucks. She came in and told me she would take what she pleased. I told the throng outside they did not need the trouble that was coming so they backed up the drive a bit and waited.
I called the SO and a Deputy showed up. I gave him what court papers there were... he asked what she should take and I pointed it out to him.
He let her in... they loaded the specified stuff... he looked at me and said "it that it?" then turned to her and said "you can leave now" the look on her face (and her best JW buddies) face was priceless.
Her congregation treats her well.... she got to walk away from her vows, any parental obligations or moral considerations toward family and all she gave up is the privilege of "pioneering". She got about a 1/3 of my income for 3 years or so... and cash payments for the value of half the assets. I had a small farm and some ag equipment and tools and such that made up those assets. I get to pay for half of my stuff twice. So much for what she told the elders..." I just want out for my spirtual heath and dont want his money"
During the divororce I did chat with a few elders... one honest one told me this whole thing was just plain wrong and he told her so... and to get her butt home and be a wife and mom. He did not buy the "spirtual endangerment" angle a bit, but he got outvoted by the other elders and sentiments of her pals.
~Hill