I wore Dr. Marten boots, denim skirts, multi-colored tights, socks with loafers, rarely ever wore pantyhose, had Billy Idol style hair - never got counceled for any of it. Occaisionaly an elder would try to say something in a kidding manner but I would just make fun of his outfit right back. Once though, my mom, sister and I got pulled into the back room and told that our skirts were too short. We all said to eachother - yeah, make them wear dresses, see how easy it is to find acceptable meeting clothes.
Were You Ever Counseled Because Of What You Wore (or didn't)?
by minimus 56 Replies latest jw friends
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chickpea
i had an elder come to me one sunday after meeting, and tell me to " go get your husband"
he proceeded to "counsel" me in front of my husband that " the view from the platform of my thigh was unacceptable.".....
i was in a button down dress that fell just above the knee........ and i had been wrestling a TODDLER on my lap for most of the meeting.... wanker
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gaiagirl
I was counseled at various times for sundresses, skirts "too short", Dr. Scholls sandals, Doc Martens, celtic jewelery which looked "pagan", no hose, thongs, sometimes no bra, etc.
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Poztate
I was taken aside once because my dress shirt had a slight "tint" to it. The standard at that time was pure white only.
I was reminded that "mature christians" would always follow the "guidelines" from the society.
Another "sin" was that I removed my suit jacket in service once when the temp went above 90 degrees.
It was highly frowned upon to deviate from their rigid dress code. I was made to see the error of my ways.
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lfcviking
I got publicly slated once for my dress attire. It was straight after doing a Number 4 talk on the theocrapic misery school. The counseling Elder attacked me for not wearing a jacket, having my top shirt button undone, having a too 'casual' shirt on and having a crooked tie.
It was a little embarassing moment for me, but at same time i got a bit of a rebellious buzz out of it.
I just can't understand why the dress code is so strict when your a JW. It might have something to do with the organisation going to absoloute extremes to make itself look good on it's outward appearance. Of course a lot of us know what the reality is on the inside! Hmmmmm, this brings to mind a scripture about Scribes & Pharisees, and whitewashed graves, and dead men's bones?.........
LFCv
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shell69
I was never councelled myself, but as we were exiting, an elder took my then 11 year old son into the side school with a bible to discuss his hair style.
When my husband and I found out we went bonkers!
My husband approached the elder concerned and pointed out that since he was the 'head' of our family this must never happen again. If there are any issues with the way our children conduct themselves/ dress etc it was to go through him!
Brilliant.. they didn't do it again!
Shell69
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Casper
Not me personally, just the tennis shoe incident at the DC that I've mentioned several times...
But the Sisters as a whole were counseled many times from the platform. Sunday got to be "Hat Day" for many.... that lasted all of 2 Sundays.
Fishnet stocking became popular........that got vetoed quickly, along with belts, worn over long form fitting sweaters with a skirt....."Can't" be drawing attention to your "Bottom".
One major "Lecture" was given after the Memorial one year, when a very sincere and kind sister's, two grown and rebellious, daughters showed up... in short black "Leather" dresses with chains, zippers and cut outs.....they really put on a show. I felt so bad for their mother........
I hated how we were all being inspected when we walked in........
Cas
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BluesBrother
I think the WT has moved on from the "white shirt" rules.
* w89 11/1 p. 30 Do You See Only the Outward Appearance? ***
We can illustrate this in the matter of dress. The Bible requirement—God’s requirement—is that a Christian’s clothing must be neat and clean, well-arranged and not betraying a lack of "modesty and soundness of mind." (1 Timothy 2:9; 3:2) Obviously, then, the elders in one congregation went "beyond the things that are written" a few years ago by requiring every public speaker in their congregation to wear a white shirt, even though pastel colors were generally acceptable in that country. Guest speakers who showed up with a colored shirt were asked to change into one of several white shirts kept in the Kingdom Hall for just such emergencies. How careful we have to be in order not to impose our personal taste on others! And how appropriate Paul’s counsel: "Let your reasonableness become known to all men"!
I cannot say how they view things nowadays. There are always individual rule - freaks among elders who are determined to impose their will on others. In my case, I can remember being slated for long hair and side burns in the late 60's (it was not really long) and more latterly another elder complained about my colourful tie, perhaps that was in the 90's
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tinker
I got everything from skirt too short, color too bright, outfit to trendy, no bare legs, ect ect......
But the you know what, hit the fan when my husband wore and sport coat and slacks for an Circuit Assembly demonstration part. Not the speaker, just a magazine demo. They actually have a printed instruction list of What to Wear but neglected to give him a copy. The CO made him trade jackets with another bro, a dark one that sort of matched his pants. It was such a ridiculous issue and waste of time.
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coffee_black
a couple of times... The first one was when I was in High School, and wore my hair up to an assembly. A "mature" sister, wife of a servant (pre-elder arrangement) Told me I should be ashamed of myself for wearing my hair that way. I told my (also) servant Dad, and he confronted her, telling her that if she had something to say about the way I looked, she was to come to him. He also told her that she was not a spiritual policewoman nor a judge of fashion. He said that furthermore he thought I looked great.
Second time was when I wore a kind of low cut dress to a wedding. Very mild by today's standards, but I did show a little cleavage. (didn't have much then...it was pre babies) Apparently I raised a ruccus...but no one said a word to me... my Dad headed 'em off at the pass... Gotta love him
My mom was given a bit of a hard time when my Dad was in the hospital. She stayed most of every day by his side, and would go directly from there to the meetings. She wore slacks.... so they tried to get her to start wearing dresses.. She told them the days were long at the hospital, and she needed to be comfortable. There was no time to go home and change... the hospital was about a 45 mintute drive to the kh, and another 30 minutes or more each way to the house. She asked the "brother" if he would prefer that she didn't come to the kh. No one ever said boo about it after that.
My parents were kinda rebels, looking back. I'm sure they would have been out if they had lived long enough.
Coffee