Elder asks me why we quit... (Long) (page 7)

Seeker4

Odrade - no trouble staying interested in THAT great story!

If you talk as clearly, carefully and intelligently as you write, you are AWESOME!

Great job!

S4

UPDATE: I just got a phone call that this brother committed suicide two weeks ago. I will be attending the memorial service this Saturday. I can't help but wonder if our conversation had some small part in this terrible tragedy. I hope not. My husband and I both really cared for this man and his wife, and considered them friends, in spite of the distance that our leaving the WTS created.

wha happened?

Wow I read through the old thread wondering why it was resurrected. This news must have hit u like a ton of bricks. please update us on the family

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Odrade,

I'm so sorry.

Speaking from my angles of personal experience, you did the right thing in speaking the truth with tact and respect. Even if that somehow influenced his thinking on matters, suicide is a personal choice... one self-destructive choice in hundreds of options. Since your intent was self-justification and to stimulate his thinking, the consequences of his actions aren't logically related to your conversation.

I hope things go well this weekend.

B the X

watson

I am sorry Odrade. You obviously cared for this man, or you wouldn't have opened up to him as you had.

Hortensia

I am so sorry - I read this thread, and you were doing the right and loving thing trying to open his eyes, and not give him a "pass." You don't know what was going on in his life that made him commit suicide, it wasn't you. Wow, I hope you tell us about the memorial service.

mavie

Our (mavie and yomamaha) thoughts are with you Odrade.

Gregor

Holy s---! That is a terrible thing! Has there been any indication of why he did this? From your account of the encounter (over a year ago?) he kept using the expression to "hang on" a year or two. Maybe he couldn't hang on...sad.

cameo-d

Odrade, you did the right thing in speaking to him so frankly and sincerely. Intuitively, I think he must have already been at a point of questioning things to be so interested in "dragging it out of you" and also his willingness to listen. I suppose that since your friend was an elder, maybe he really had no one to talk to about his questions and kept a lot of things inside if he did question the ethics of the org.

I am so sorry he ended his life. I would blame WT torment of years as being the contributing factor, and not your words which were spoken in love and honesty. I don't think it was just the non-caring of personal risk to yourself that caused you to reveal these things. I think you also spoke with a genuine concern for your friend in hopes to help him find freedom from that bondage.

Odrade

Thanks all. I'm not feeling guilty for speaking frankly with him. It's just that I remember what a state of turmoil my life was thrown into once I realized that the "truth" wasn't true. Disillusionment coupled with depression is a dangerous thing. If our conversation had any part in his spiral down, it was minor. Over the years, he had seen a lot as an elder, as a congregation member. He and members of his family had been treated cruelly by elders and traveling overseers because of trying to stand up for what was right.

Still, he continued to believe it was "the truth," even up until my last conversation with him. He urged me to just hold on for one or two more years, then it would be over and Jehovah would fix everything. That was about 18 months ago. I guess he just couldn't hang on anymore. I know it wasn't my fault, and given the opportunity, I would speak just as honestly again. He deserved that kind of respect from me, and I regarded him as a friend.

Elder asks me why we quit... (Long)

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