What "Unwritten Rules" Did Your Congregation Have?

by minimus 73 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dagney

  Single brother and sisters who sat next to each other at the hall meant they were involved/engaged.
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  undercover

  At weddings, you could only dance if you were married or engaged.

  That jogged my memory a bit. When I was young, I remember a similar rule in our congregation. Only married and engaged coupled could dance if unrelated. Mothers could dance with sons and fathers with daughters, but single people couldn't dance with other single people.

  I remember being a nervous wreck at one wedding reception(I was about 15 or 16) when an elder's daughter from another hall where the rules weren't as strict, made me dance with her. I figured we'd get in trouble for sure. The fact that she was pretty and wanted to dance with me was lost in the indoctrinational fear that I had. What a dope I was.

  A few years later though, as more dubs from larger cities moved in, dancing actually became quite a normal occurence at JW parties get-togethers.

  The back center row was for disfellowshipped ones.

  At one hall I attended, the last two center rows were for parents with small children. If you didn't have kids, the attendants would ask you to move. I remember coming in and saving 4 seats and sitting down. The attendant immediatly came over to make me move and I took great pleasure in telling him to back off because we were babysitting two children who would be sitting with us.

  yeah...the beard rule. i remember that one...

  I think beards were banned pretty much everywher in our region. But rules on mustaches varied from congregation to congregation. Our congregation "allowed" them, but they were to be groomed the same as Bethelites were to groom them. I was constantly at odds with the elders over this one. I grew a "fu manchu"...that got me in trouble. I let it grow long enough to twirl ala "Snidely Whiplash"...that got me in trouble. Then I tried to tone it down and grew it like the late Dale Earnhardt...that got me in trouble. I finally trimmed it down and grew a "soul patch" after seeing the movie Tomsbstone where both the characters Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo had them and looked cool. I got called in on that one, but after pointing out that a couple of black brothers had them, how could they counsel me, they backed off. One of the black brothers was an elder.

  The elders went after certain brothers that wore "loud" colorful ties.

  Yep...I got counseld more than once for my "loud" ties. Let's face it...wearing boring clothes day after day was just too much. I tried to have a little ful with wearing a suit. I wore conservative dark suits but mixed and matched with different colored shirts and ties. My ties caused a few fussy ole biddies and fogeys to get upset and complain. So the elders told me to get conservative.

  A couple more that were considered "rules" in our congregation(s):

  Two door cars. Two door cars were counseld against and any single brother or sister who bought one would get counseled about it.

  Alcohol. When I was a small tyke, some more conservative types tried to outright ban the friends from drinking. This was met with strong resistance, not only from younger dubs, but from older ones and elders. Later, one figures out that many were functional alcoholics. It did lead to no JW wedding reception or get-together to ever have any kind of alcohol for years. The taboo was finally broken in my generation's weddings. Not only did we, but most of my peers had not only champagne and wine but beer and cash bars at our receptions.
• 

  minimus

  Parties...Some Halls had "Congregation Picnics", others----no way!

  Some Halls always seemed to have get togethers, others couldn't.
• 

  undercover

  Single brother and sisters who sat next to each other at the hall meant they were involved/engaged.

  Another memory jogger.

  This happened to me even as a teenager. A friend's cousin was visiting from out of town. I had known her since we were little kids but had not seen her in about four years. In that time she had grown from the chubby little brat to a very pretty, well developed young woman. There was an empty seat on the row where she and the family she was visiting was sitting. I was invited to sit with the group. I did, and to my thrill, I got to sit next to her.

  You'd have thought that I had molested her right there during the WT study for all the uproar that it caused. Hell, I was only 17 and she was 16 and the elders had to have meetings and make phone calls and talk to our parents and then us about our "indiscretion". It was mentioned to me, more than once, by different elders, that by our sitting together, some people could expect to be "hearing an announcement".

  What a great thread mini ole boy...
• 

  minimus

  Certain elder's wives expected to be called upon to comment and if you didn't pick them, they made it known to their "heads".

  When I was a MS, I conducted the TMS and had a very prominent elder's wife "work" on a speech counsel point. Afterward, I was reprimanded by an elder for going there!
• 

  stillajwexelder

  White shirts only on platform

  ABSOLUTE MUST -Brothers wear suit coats reading at group, doing mics, platform etc no matter how hot
• 

  Gordy

  White shirts only on platform

  ABSOLUTE MUST -Brothers wear suit coats reading at group, doing mics, platform etc no matter how hot

  I keep hearing the one about "white shirts only" but never came across it here in my area of England. In all my time as a JW even when a Min Servant, giving talks etc. I NEVER wore a white shirt. Usually blue, deep red and a pink one that went well with my suit when I gave a Public Talk. At one time the only "rule" was no loud patterned ties, only plain colours. That was until a Circuit Overseer who came who wore the loudest patterned ties you could imagine. No one said a word after that. Suits coats were worn if you were on platform,or doing mics. Otherwse you could take them off if sitting in the audience. At the book groups if it was hot we often took our jackets off , even the conductor. Beards were taken as forbidden. Though I remember attending a Elders/Min Servants school and seeing a couple of Elders there with beards. I know of a brother who all his time as a JW wore a goatee. But then I have heard an Elder tell a brother who had grown a beard that in no circumstance would he work with him on field service. I have often found that these petty little rules were usually made up by the local Elders own personal tastes and views.
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  minimus

  Families were encouraged to sit in the back of the Hall and if a family sat closer to the front, they were talked to.

  What I hated, and I always sat in the back, was when a chairman or even CO would say, "I want everyone to come to the front of the Hall". And everyone would have take their stuff and move on command.
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  MadTiger

  Bethel spies, and congregation elders and servants that are reading these true accounts:
  
  Can you NOT see the sheer folly and stupidity of it all?
  
  Is the talk less informative with my pastel blue shirt?
  
  Sad.
• 

  Outaservice

  It was an unwritten rule that if you had a two door car you were not very mature. You had to have a four door, so as to be a convenient vehicle for the door to door work.

  Outaservice (Who never drove his motorcycle out in service once!)