I talked to a cousin who attended a recent 2-day circuit assembly. The CO outlawed women wearing denim, flip flops, and not wearing nylons. That was on Saturday. By the end of the day sisters were making phone calls all over the state, even out of state, and word got back to the CO. Sunday morning he spent perhaps 20 minutes explaining that they were out of line, and needed to follow the directives of the FDS. He asked, "What kind of an example are you setting for your children or other sisters in the congregation if you complain?" Later in the day the DO toned it down a bit, saying that dressing that way did not mean you weren't one of Jehovahs Witnesses.
What "Unwritten Rules" Did Your Congregation Have?
by minimus 73 Replies latest jw friends
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bbdodger
Over time, I have forgotten some of the outrageous rules that they'd guilt us into following. Reading this reminded me that our congregation had the same unwritten rules.
The rule about the 4 door cars is the one that most people don't believe... my Mom never had four dour cars, and got talked to about it on various occasions. Later, she did get a 4 door car... a Pontiac t-1000 (which is exactly like a Chevette). Yeah... now I see there was a method to her madness!
Here's an observation. Our congregations were very much separated by race... sad, but true. The "black" Kingdom Hall was on the "black" side of town, and the "White" Kingdom Hall was on the "White" side of town. I had gone to services at each, but belonged to one of the "white" congregations (as there were 4 congs at the time). The "black" Kingdom Hall seemed A LOT more relaxed about loud ties, facial hair, and most appearance related rules. They were also more relaxed about moral issues, and it seemed that it took a lot more to be disfellowshipped. I am still friends with one of the Brothers from the "black" congregation. He's is a black man. He talks to me! He use to go fishing with my Grandpa (who DIDN'T talk to me). When I see him, I give him a hug. He doesn't go out in field service, and I've never seen him make mention of being a Jehovah's Witness, until he told me about fishing with my Grandpa. He knew who I was, before I even knew who he was.
Years ago, there were also two young African American J.Ws I use to work with, and they were always canoodling in the corners when no one was watching. I had no idea they were JWs, until one of them brought "My Book of Bible Stories" to work. They were both in their teens at the time, and made no secret of their relationship. It didn't seem that anyone really cared. I honestly don't think that it would be the same if they had been members of the "white" congregation.
Silly stuff.
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Gayle
No congregation picnics, late 60's, Yreka, CA
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NotaNess
yeah...the beard rule. i remember that one...
Did the WTS send out an un-authorized memo to Christ or the apostles by chance to let them know, they weren't allowed to teach in the KH's, and it sounds like the guys are forced to play "Mormon" during talks. Sounds like fun.
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Billzfan23
My hall had a rule that if a slutty wife was on "public reproof" then she couldn't sit in the back of the hall with her "attendant" husband while he watched the door, took the attendance down on the record slip, etc... I remember we shared a hall with another congregation and 2 sisters in those halls were in trouble at the same time. There was a squabble because one hall allowed the reprooved sister to sit next to her husband while he had the "privileged" assignment of being an attendant and the other hall did not - even though they shared a Kingdomhall. It was a riot sitting there with the other elders while they hashed it out...
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cyberdyne systems 101
I remember the more common ones like:
No Beards, Wearing a jacket at all times when doing 'privileges' even if the temperature was too high, no white socks on the platform, no loud ties, hair to be short for males.
Some others that happened where i attended were: No sitting at the back, not sitting in the same seat each meeting (!), no long or sharp shaven side burns, no looking round when someone arrives late, dont be fashionable - be at least one fashion behind the latest, dont have hobbies that take up time...
The beauty () of these unwritten rules, were that the people attending them pretty much policed them, so even though you wanted to exercise your conscience to do a certain thing, the social pressure didnt allow you the freedon to do so.
CS 101
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Nulite
They wanted sisters to wear nylons at all times. Brothers were to wear suits while on the school. There was one young fellow who wanted to do the bible reading but didn't have a suit. The brothers were barely persuaded to let him read.
Each hall however is vastly different. One liberal leaning kingdom hall I was with, was a virtual fornication free for all. College nor materialism was an issue. Then others were the exact opposite.
NL
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minimus
They used to say, "This is not California!".....(you see Californians were known to be very liberal in the "Truth").
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undercover
They used to say, "This is not California!".....(you see Californians were known to be very liberal in the "Truth").
There was an old stodgy brother in one hall that used to say that the closer you got to water (ocean), the less spiritual-minded the JWs were. (He was referencing the West Coast and Florida).
...even though you wanted to exercise your conscience to do a certain thing, the social pressure didnt allow you the freedon to do so.
And the social pressure then became authority pressure. The elders would set these little "rules" in place, like no loud ties or colored shirts. As people conformed and then later a brother would try to be unique, the group would show disapproval. If the brother continued in his non-conformity, then the elders would "counsel" them.
I remember that most of the counseling sessions that I had with elders concerned little petty things that a normal adult human being would never have to face unless you were in the military or worked for George Steinbrenner.
In addition to all the silly things mentioned like ties and shirts, I remember the brothers (men only) being counseled on wearing jewelry. A wedding ring was okay but bracelets and neck chains showed a spirit of the world. One brother insisted that neck chains came from the homosexual community and we shouldn't want to copy that.
Another time the elders went on a tour to stamp out casual overcoats for field service. They wanted all the brothers to wear proper overcoats over their suit coat while in service, if the weather was cool/cold. Some brothers were dropping the suit coat and wearing a casual leather jacket (nice, not biker) or heavy sweaters. Some of the pioneers actually resisted and complained. This only brought the charge of having a complaining spirit and not subjecting themselves to the organization properly.
No where is there a dress code that goes to such length as to tell anyone what style coat to wear, what color shirt to wear or whether jewelry is allowed or not. But very few people resisted the intrusions on their free will, all in the name of serving Jehovah.
When I was fading and had a sheparding call, I questioned some of the grooming "laws" in place. When I asked about beards, I handed the brother my bible and asked him to show me where in there it says that christian men can't have a beard. The brother didn't bother to take my bible, but went on to explain how many Fortune 500 companies and companies with public representatives have dress and grooming codes so as to not allow employee's individual choices prejudice people against the company. This explanation explained one thing very clear. We were no longer talking about a religion and christian freedom that comes with following Christ, we were talking about a publishing company that was trying to enforce its dress code on its employees without a written handbook.
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minimus
I had an assembly part and I was going to use a aux.pioneer from a different Hall but the elders told me she wasn't exemplary. (She was my daughter's friend). They said she dressed immodestly out in service and she could not be used. Here PO was asst. Assembly Overseer. I asked the girl what she wore and showed me the skirt. It went to her ankles and had a slit BELOW the knee!
She was still allowed to pioneer into the next month under the watchful eye of the elder's wives.