I have posted my story on here before. I was dfed at 22 for sleeping with an 18yr old girl in my cong. I was married and me and my "mistress" were both dfed.
I admit I was wrong by even the worlds standards. I can blame other people... the elders, the other cong members for pressuring me to get married young but I know ultimately what i did was my fault and is unexcusable.
about 2 years ago I got divorced and married the woman that I got dfed for sleeping with. (we have been dfed for 3 years and 4 months)
We have been clean and in line with bible and WTS standards for 1 year and 10 months. In this time she has gone thru a number of health problems. We have made more meetings than the elders on our comittee and have gone to all of the assemblies. We have written about 5 or 6 letters. Sometimes it takes them 6 months to respond to a letter. I asked for a meeting verbally and one of the elders didn't tell the other elders on the comittee for 5 months. When they meet with us they keep talking about how we are in an adulterous marriage and that the congregation views us as tax collectors and Jah may forgive us but will never let us forget that we are in an adulterous marriage.
My ex wife does not go to meetings... she is drifted, she has had boyfriends live with her and had sex even before I married my current wife.
I asked the elders to meet with us after giving them a letter 6 months ago and they talked about how the other elders on my comittee are going on vacation and they dont know when they will have time.
I feel like it is very low priority for them to reinstate us or even meet with us. Is this something that the elders are taught... to neglect reinstatement letters and not meet with sincere individuals????
I also don't understand where they are going with this aldulterous marriage stuff.... do they not recognize my marriage, maybe I should get a divorce??????
My wifes mother very rarely spoke to her but after the convention (there was a part on how to treat dfed people) she wrote my wife a letter telling her to not talk to her and that she loves Jah more and we should pray for forgiveness.
My mother is also a jerk to me all the time asking me what I want if I call her... telling me that she can't talk to me but when her computer breaks or she has a car problem she calls me right away expecting help.
I just don't understand what everybody wants from us... I have a sick pregnant wife, alot of stress in my life and both of our parents act like we are doing somethinig to prohibit our reinstatement.
I feel like I am giving all that I can and that it doesnt matter.