Namaste
JoinedBorn and raised a witness, 3rd generation. Held off on getting baptized till I was in my early 20's. Discovered that even doing that I was never going to find a *nice brother* to marry. Got depressed thinking I would be single forever and found my way to the internet in 1994. Lo and behold there were men interested in talking (or typing as the case was) to me and they weren't all creeps! Met a guy that seemed really nice, even convinced him to start studying with the local jw's before I ever met him in person. He lived on one side of the country, me on the other. Finally made the decision to fly out and meet him. Even went to the local KH with him to meet the guy he was studying with, who by the way gave me a stern talking too! (Sorry Johnny....it didn't work) Long story short, internet guy eventually moved out to my side of the country. We spent several years trying to figure everything out while I went through agony about being in love with a non-jw, trying to still go to meetings, he deciding that being a jw was NOT what he was going to do and that I had to take it or leave it. Eventually we got married and I never went to another meeting. I managed to successfully fade over several years while dodging the *are you going to meetings?* questions. Still felt a lot of guilt until I went on a mission and started reading everything I could get my hands on starting with CofC. My brain finally started working and I could see everything from a whole new perspective. My parents still stay in close contact with me. We have a don't ask/don't tell policy. The only one that really bugs me about *getting back in* is my 85 year old grandmother so I limit contact there. Once in awhile I do look around and miss the friends I had for 25+ years and truly miss their friendship, but I've worked hard the last few years forming new friendships and they have enriched me and my world in a way that jw friends never could have, so I'm very grateful for that.