I'm not going to site any scriptures on this. You can look them up later if you want. If you still have the WT library you can search for marriage, divorce, adultery and you should find all you need. I had a talk about the requirements for re-marriage.
Fact: You had a sexual affair during your marriage
WTS response: The spiritual ties of the marriage have been cut by your action and your wife does not forgive you for having the affair by withholding sexual relations with you.
Fact: Civil divorce occurs
WTS response: Injured party (in this case, the wife) is free to marry as the other party (you) again broke the marriage bond under scriptural reasons. However there is a QFR that also states that you are also free to marry.
My thoughts. You will never be reinstated in the hall where you were df'd.
Reason #1. The Elders believe that reinstating you will set a precedent (sp?) for the congregation that adultery is an acceptable method for leaving/ending a poor marriage and still get reinstated.
Reason #2 If you attempt to use any of this information, even quoting scriptures and WT publications to them in an attempt to show scriptural (actually WT) proof that they are wrong in their position, then they will view you as trying to teach them and how can you, a DF'd individual teach anything to a spiritual giant like an elder. A really repentant individual would never attempt to teach or justify their position. You are not repentant because you are not doing what the elders feel you need to be doing to gain Jehovah's favor and be reinstated.
I believe you would be better off by breaking any ties with the WTS and enjoying life with your new wife. If you have family still in the cult then I might understand your need to get back in standing with the congregation so that they can speak with you. But is the heartache worth the emotional turmoil that you will need to endure.
The spiritual relationship you need to work on is with you and Jesus and with your Heavenly Father. Jesus forgave a woman who had many sins in her past. You need that relationship with Jesus so that you can feel the forgiveness by him also. Then you can move on in your life. Without some form of forgiveness, whether truely from Jesus or a false form of forgiveness from three error-prone men from the WTS you will never really be able to forgive yourself and you will place the blame on not getting reinstated on yourself AND your new wife. Something that she doesn't deserve. If she truely wants to get reinstated then she'll blame you and again something that you don't deserve. I personally believe that the first form of forgiveness (from Jesus) is the best route. Good Luck to you.
