Dfed and Damned for Life

by Hangin_on 54 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mum
    Mum

    Hangin, if you would like to go to counseling, call a psychologist in your town and ask them if they accept clients on a sliding scale, based on ability to pay. If not, ask them to refer you to a state or local agency which will help you find counseling. Asking for help when you need it does not "bring reproach on God's name." Methodists, Baptists, Catholics, Jews, and everyone else goes to counseling, and nothing is said about it bringing "reproach."

    Do you think God wants you to suffer and continue living in pain? If my child needed counseling, I would not think it was bringing reproach on me as a parent. I would think she needed help and would be glad she was getting it. Do you think God could be more petty and insecure than a poor hillbilly woman? If God is so weak and insecure, he wouldn't be God.

    If you don't want to tell your counselor what your religion is, your counselor should respect that. In the meantime, you might google "remedies for stress" or similar wording and find some strategies to help you cope better.

    Having a baby to take care of is stressful even if everything else in life is perfect. You guys need to take care of yourselves so you can give your baby a chance at a good life. Happy, relaxed parents make happy, relaxed babies who will be strong and able to handle life's problems. Babies with stressed-out parents become insecure, lacking in self worth, and fearful.

    Please do what is right for your loved ones.

    SandraC

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    When they meet with us they keep talking about how we are in an adulterous marriage and that the congregation views us as tax collectors and Jah may forgive us but will never let us forget that we are in an adulterous marriage.

    Actually, it sounds like they are the ones who will never let you forget and you will forever be viewed as beneath them.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    hangingon can't improve on what Scully said. please read her post and think seriously .

    I have not read all the replies but wanted to tell u that you are beating your collective heads against a brick wall.

    These arrogant people (the jws) are out for their pound of flesh , ie, they can't stone you but will make you wish you were dead. you can play by their rules or fight back.

    It should not matter to them since your x wife is not a jws and is sleeping with other men.

    I have seen this before. I knew another "adulterous " couple and after 20 yrs. they are still viewed as adulterous. The Cong feels they are reaping what they sowed.

    so if you want to live your life like an outcast or leper, keep going to the kingdom hall Or you could find another church and start attending an get some support.

    You and your wife are very young, don't spend your life trying to undo something that can't be undone. We all do things we should not.

    if they even pretended to be Christian they would know that Christ died for just this reason, to cover sins that you are truly repentant over. don't let them destroy you and your young wife and child on the way. Stress can kill you.

    you are not bringing reproach on jah for getting therapy. If your wife is ill, your baby will be too. You are the husband and father, take your wife to a doctor.

    really, knowing Jehovah as you do, would he extract this from you? it's they who are cruel and unforgiving/ Jesus would say go forth and sin no more.

    weds

  • blueviceroy
    blueviceroy

    Emancipate yourself from mental slavery , only we can free our minds -Bob Marley

    Why struggle so hard to satisfy the criteria set forth by a group of people that hijack religion as a means of gaining authority over other people. If you are estranged now why would it be different when you are doing what they want? We can support and love you if you do what we want? Real love< the kind talked about by (ahem) JESUS doesnt need conditions to operate .

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    hangin_on....I have already posted one reply but have another...but before I do...I gotta say this about something sparkplug said:

    old fucktards

    OMG that is so damn funny... a combination of the f word and bastards....OMG, I have to add that word to my vocabulary to describe idiot elders.... now back to the more serious topic at hand....

    Sorry hangin_on....speaking of idiot elders, this you said made me reply again:

    I believe that the judicial hearing is no different than a court hearing and the elders seek to be guided by holy spirit but that jah does not directly influence them... they make the ultimate decision based on what they see from you and the application of bible principles.

    no....no....no....let me break this down for you. it is a conflict to say that "the elders seek to be guided by holy spirt" and immediately turn around and say "Jah does not directly influence them"..... Holy spirit, by either the non-trinitarian or trinitarian version of the doctrine, is inseparable from God. In the (nonJW) trinitarian belief...God and the holy spirit is the same....In the JW non-trinitarian belief, the holy spirit is God's active force...that he controls...either way...you cannot make the statement you made with accuracy....

    Operating under the assumption that the holy spirit (with or without Jehovah being involved) is with the elders is BULL$HIT.... you next state "they {the elders} make the ultimate decision based on what they see from you and the application of bible principles." Again I say BULL$HIT...and here is why I say that.

    Hangin_on, my dear friend, I was until very recently, an elder. I served on nearly two dozen committees in the time I was an elder. I had inside knowledge of how things work (officially and unofficially) that even the local BOE I served on did not have. The ultimate decision to DF/DA/unannounced reproof/unannounced reproof/reinstate/not reinstate is based on the feelings of the local BOE that took action against you. If they have an axe to grind against you, you are doomed.

    There is nothing Scriptural about the process. Most JC's just want to "Get it over with" as quickly as possible. Often, the decision was made off the record when the BOE met to appoint the JC...."open and shut" cases is what they were often called. So the JC was the judge, jury, and executioner....very different than a worldly court hearing.

    On the few committees that I was chairman of (thus guiding the process), I insisted that we use Scriptures. I did this before we met with the accused as we were reviewing the case, during the process with the accused, at the end of the process to either counsel and reprove, or to give sanction and show scripturally what the accused needed to do to get reinstated.... and after the accused was dismissed as the JC wrapped up the notes and paperwork. I irritated the hell out of the local elders because of this...they just "wanted to get it over with"...their words..... I was apparently a rare elder (a renegade is what I was called by one group of elders on a JC) that wanted to try do things Scripturally....at least according to WT intrepretations of "Scriptural".

    Hangin_on...I realize now -- as a former elder and fading JW -- that there is nothing "Scriptural" about the entire Judicial Committee process. The WTS twists the Scriptures to allow for JCs and to allow for shunning. I certainly understand why you may want to get reinstated, etc. I myself do not want to get DF or DA either....I dont want to lose what few friends I have.....(some would, maybe rightfully, say that they are not real friends if they do that..but that is a topic that has been covered on this board many times)

    Please take care of your wife....dont worry about the WT (aka the Borg).....your immediate family is what is important...

    Snakes ()

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