Whats the funniest thing you've ever seen happen in the KH?

by shell69 73 Replies latest jw experiences

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Man these stories bring back some good memories ....kind of makes me want to go to the hall tonight .....


  • changeling

    I just remembered: For awhile our sound system picked up baseball games!

  • ramtrucker

    This happened to me, back in the mid 1950s.

    When around the age of 15, during a circuit assembly in Central Washington State, my best friend and I decided to get baptized. He is a few months younger than myself.

    The assembly was held at a local high school, but the baptism itself was held at a local Kingdom Hall which was equipped with a baptism pool located inside the Hall.

    As things turned out, my friend's father drove us to assembly that morning, and as usual for him, was late.

    So late in fact that we missed the dedication talk at the assembly, and drove directly to the Kingdom Hall.

    We walked into the Kingdom Hall and were the last ones there to be baptized that morning. The brothers had set up temporary dressing rooms made of a heavy paper stapled to a framework of 2 x 2s. Of course, everyone was in a hurry to be done.

    After our dip in the baptism font, we hurried back to change into our street clothes.

    I had just pulled off my swim trunks, preparing to pull on my undershorts when my friend, who was hopping around on one leg trying to pull his wet suit off, fell through the flimsy framework of the temporary stalls, tearing the whole thing down, and leaving me entirely exposed to the gaze of all those still visiting with each other in the main part of the hall.

    I was totally embarrassed by the whole thing.

    Even to this day when I drive by the location of that Kingdom Hall, I still remember my "exposure".

  • jambon1

    These are hilarious!An old brother once commented during one of the sex WT`s that it may not be possible for a couple to 'come together, at the same time'. Cue the hysterical laughing of a very immature and sexually deprived pioneer sister.

    2 pioneers involved an old sister in a wheel chair to do a demo. She went on at LENGH about the state of the world and got right into it as if she was actually on a call. She wasn't asked up much on the platform. The 2 pioneers were literally pissing themselves whilst she went on and on and on. The brother taking the part was even struggling to hold it in. The old sister actually told the pio in charge of her wheel chair to "go away", as she knew he was taking the piss. This was all during the part and in front of 50 people. The pio immitated shuffling his feet to make her believe that he was leaving the platform. Later she sighed loudly when she realised he was still there. I was crying with laughter in the back room. The PO went off his facking head in the days after THAT part.

    Theres more..........

  • Tristram

    Sometime back in the 80's at the book study we were studying something to do with evolution. The paragraph read something akin to "Evolution teaches that all life developed from a single organism." The guy reading it said "Evolution teaches that all life developed from a single orgasm."

    He was a jokester though. I think he meant to say that.

  • Paralipomenon

    I was quite the clown growing up, but also a very good impromptu speaker. I used to be assigned number 2,4 talks when the assigned speaker didn't show up at the hall. So one day when one of the elders needed a "householder" for his part on overcoming objections he just told me during the middle song to come up when he called on me.

    Now I didn't mind helping out, but I didn't like this guy and didn't like being told what to do.

    So his part comes and I go up on stage and after a standard opening I interrupt him with a very strong Indian accent.

    "I must stop you there for I am a devout Hindu"

    The elder, on the spot tried to recover and put me on the spot.
    "Can you tell me a bit about Hinduism, what is the name of your god?"

    I retorted, still in character: "We have many, many gods, is there one in particular you are interested in?"

    He turned red and went back to the podium as the whole congregation was killing themselves laughing. He proceeded to give a demonstration playing both parts.

    I think it's becoming a bit clearer why I never made MS...

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    My brother was a teenager and trying to impress the girls in the hall. One Sunday WT meeting, it was very very quiet in the audience when he let out the loudest, boom-iest FFFAAARRRTTT!!!!!!!!!! He got so red faced! That was back in the 1980's.

  • B_Deserter

    One time during the meeting it was time to sing the middle song and the retarded girl in front of me stood up and had a HUGE blood spot on the back of her dress and on the chair where she was sitting. Her period started evidently and it had been pooling all through the meeting. I raised my songbook to block my view when my mother noticed and whisked her into the woman's restroom to clean her up. Her dad saw what happened and put her songbook face down and open over the stain.

  • B_Deserter

    Wait a second....you could just "decide" to get baptized and get it done the same or next day? Without being asked a bunch of questions from a book?

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    My brother's first student talk was a bible reading. I don't remember the verse, but it read "chastise your sons,". What did my brother say instead? "Castrate your sons."

    Another kid who had a bible reading, started laughing when he read the word "ass".

    A sister, who claimed to be of the anointed, had a student talk. It was back when they used to do the bible characters for the #4 talk. She was assigned Tiberius. She clearly got her information from a worldly source, and clearly didn't do a good job of proofreading. When talking about his sexuality, she said from the platform that he was a switch-hitter.

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