Whats the funniest thing you've ever seen happen in the KH?

by shell69 73 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  BlackPearl

  • One time in mid December, we arrived at the Kingdom Hall early only to find a great big "Merry Christmas" sign on the front door.
  • This is not funny but when your'e a little kid you wonder what's happening...during closing prayer, a sister who had some sort of mental impairment, was peeing down her leg and you could here it trickling like a brook. I peeked one eye open to see what was going on and there was a puddle around her feet about two feet in diameter.
  • On the day of the Superbowl (no one wants to be at meeting on that day) during the Watchtower study, the conducting elder said to a slow answering audience, "I don't care if we have to sit her all afternoon, we're going to get this study finished."
  • We used to have an elder that would stand at the back of the hall and take a head count of who was missing and who was not. The brother's intentions were not to encourage the missing, but rather to harass them as to why they weren't there.
  • One couple who always sat in the front row, proceeded to say their own prayer in a low whispering tone to each other every time one was said from the platform.

  BP
• 

  Gordy

  One 10 yr old boy answering during a Watchtower study.

  Was supposed to say that "Israelite sons learnt to do their fathers SECULAR work."

  Instead he said "Israelite sons learnt to do their fathers SEXUAL work."

  The congregation just fell part laughing.

  My own daughter when around 12 yrs old during a group meeting, read something that should have said that "Adam and Eve came out the bushes NAKED.

  Instead she read it as "Adam and Eve came out the bushes KNACKERED."

  The group conductor had trouble carrying on because of laughing, as we all did.
• 

  shopaholic

  • When I was a kid, a sister's slip fell to the floor after she walked onto the platform to give her talk. All the kids really got the all-night giggles over this.
  • Several years ago a young brother sang most his talk...it was a bible reading from the book of Rev. I had to go stand in the back because I was gonna lose it.
• 

  orbison11

  we had a new sister,,,one of her early talks, she walks down from platform

  she was doing a standing presentation to another sister,,and takes the standing microphone , cord and all, down the aisle with her with her book bag

  not knowing this she goes about 1/3 of the way down before she realized what was happening

  poor dear

  then this same sister had an all out loud screaming fight with the sister she studied with who brought her in

  she even let a few fxxx u's,,,oh talk of the town for months

  orb
• 

  The-Borg

  We were in the second school (small room) and a brother was just about to start his number 4 talk when someone did LOUD fart. He could not continue with his talk for laughing and had to step down from the podium.
• 

  Mrs Smith

  My congo must of had the most clowns in it cause I have loads of funny stories.

  An elderly women was in the same congo as her son. For some reason the son got up to talk to his mom halfway through the Sunday talk. She had fallen asleep and only realised someone was talking to her when she hear this voice right in her ear. She got such a fright she started loudly swearing at him. I learnt a few new words from her that day.

  A very heavy man in my congo broke a chair at the assembly. What made it so funny is that at the time I was sitting next to a friend right behind this heavy guy and this friend of mine was commenting on how this man had not stopped eating and drinking through out the session. As this guy picked up his coke and took a sip the chair broke!

  We had one of the young guys on mic duty and he went to the loo with the mic on so whole hall could hear him wee, at least he washed his hands afterwards.

  An elder's son that was know for his "wild" ways fell asleep at the meeting. He was sitting at the end of the row and fell out of his chair and into the aisle. He later told my brother that he dreamt he was sitting on a dustbin and fell off.

  We had a very drunk guy get up to give talk no 3 and had to be escorted off the stage cause he couldn't even stand let alone give a talk. Needless to say a few weeks later he was publicly reproved.

  There was an Afrikaans man who decided to give a talk in English and read that Jesus came down on his arse instead of ass.

  My brother farted very loudly at a book study once and turned to his friend that was sitting next to him and said "yuk how can you do that here". The poor guy went bright red and everyone thought it was him! My brother got away with it.

  If I think of any more I will post again. We realy did have a funny congo. Pity we were all misguided fools.

  Oh yes one last one. We had a CO who's name was Eddie Eals and the PO welcomed him as Bro Ernie Els (a South African Golfer) The CO was not very happy. We all had a good laugh about it.
• 

  saywhat29

  My brother farted very loudly at a book study once and turned to his friend that was sitting next to him and said "yuk how can you do that here". The poor guy went bright red and everyone thought it was him! My brother got away with it.

  Mrs. Smith, your brother is awesome.
• 

  jeanne40love

  The time a very large sister walked down from the front of the hall and her skirt fell off, All we could see was her Granny Panties (my mother always told us to wear a slip).....she reached down picked up her skirt and marched into the bathroom.

  I would have booked it out of the hall so fast, instead, after she was done with the bathroom, walked right back up front and finished out the meeting.
• 

  WTWizard

  I have seen the speaker for the public talk not show up once. I have seen them get the wrong song in the CD player a few times. I have seen the air conditioner totally conk out, necessitating the use of fans and open doors. Once the heat in the auxiliary room where the book study was held went dead and we had to cancel the meeting. And, I have been to book studies where a neighbor blasted some nice music during the study (some with swearing).

  Generally, these places are ultra-austere. And it has gotten worse during the past 10 years. Everything is canned. There is no spontaneity any more. Instead, everything comes directly from the Puketower Society. Every word, intonation, and gesture is Watchtower-inspired and delivered by the robots that give the talks. About the only time when something exciting happens is when the tool shed gets burgled or they have a hard time getting the alarm set or turned off (just once I would have liked to have seen a major blackout where they had no way of continuing the meeting or the place burn to the ground).
• 

  Madame Quixote

  One Sunday, my momster took me and sis outside the KH for a good beat-down. We were both screaming bloody murder for a good few minutes. Much to momster's chagrin, the KH windows were all wide-open, thanks to cool, springy weather. Talk about disturbing a public talk.