RF for me I began to question the life of Jesus. Why in the JW religion is his life and example very seldom mentioned, and yet we are to be examples of him. His life was motivated by the love of others, yet at the KH all you ever heard is about the God of the old testment, God that is jealous, God of justice etc. Fear is the number one means of control.
All the things that you hear that you should not do Jesus did. He ate with tax collector's, prostitutes, Samaritians - Not Jews....In JW lingo Samaritians would equal those not JW's. And yet you are told to only associate with JW's. When he was questioned why he ate with the likes of these folks, Jesus said I go to the sick not those that are healthy. He showed love and compassion to those ill, in the JW world like your mom, if you don't live up to their way of thinking you are shunned, talked about, questions are always raised about your spirituality etc. Many times certain people can never do enough, and are made to feel like failures.
I also was married for many years to a JW elder. My children's father is still a local pioneer elder in a KH near me. I also pioneered, special pioneered for over 10 years. I know your dilemna. Take it slow, do some research on your own. No one here is going to push you to leave. Leaving is a process, do it smart if that is your desire, and if not we are still here for you.