by Hortensia 52 Replies latest jw friends
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so glad you got out of there.
It is possible he has schizophrenia or a tumor or even some type of disease that effects the brain. I hope he is able to get the help he needs and possibly be close to his old self again so you can feel safe visiting him.
It is so difficult when someone we love suffers and we can't do anything to stop it. My heart goes out to you.
You mentioned that he had problems with kidney stones. I'm just wondering if he has a kidney or urinary tract infection. I'm curious because when we had elderly patients that went wacko out of the blue, they were usually found to have some sort of UTI or dehydration. This sounds like it could be a possibility because people with kidney stones don't like to drink water (for obvious reasons) and he's at high risk for urinary tract infection because of the stones. What did he have done for the kidney stones? Does he still have one or more? Just wondering?
I used to get several kidney stones a year, even had to have surgery for them. I can tell you most assuredly, right before you get one, you do get very emotional and depressed. Stones can make you feel as if you are going to lose your mind. If he has uric acid stones, the ph in his body is messed up and this can affect his mind. All of my stones we uric acid stones, though one had calcium combined with uric acid. My condition was brought on by chronic dehydration due to surgery.
H, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but my thoughts are with you. (( ))
I hope the hospital is doing diagnostic testing of his brain as well as psychological testing.
Glad you're safe (((hortensia))) and I hope you find rapid healing from the trauma.
I do hope they get to the bottom of what caused this episode. If it was completely out of character for him, it does sound, as others have suggested, that there may be a medical cause rather than it being a psychological/behavioural one. Maybe worth holding back on the divorce papers until the cause is established?
Hortensia, hugs from me, too! I can imagine a similar event here at my home, as my husband has been pretty unstable, unpredicatable, and armed to the teeth, too. I admire your courage and hope you've talked to an attorney. I think divorce is a good legal move. That will separate you legally, and financially. Too many of us are immobilized......
schizophrenia
unique1 had the same thought as mine. Or dementia. These frequently set in as people age, usually worsening later in the day, sometimes presenting no symptoms at all in the mornings.
That fits with paranoic collection of weaponry and the violent reaction to a perceived authority figure. If it is any consolation, he probably thought he really was helping you when he hit you and choked you. Terribly unsafe for you, either way. But he likely didn't mean you any harm—whether the episode was drug induced or came on as a result of some mental or physical defect.
(((Hortensia))) all the best to you and I hope things will work out for the best for your husband, too.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul
I am glad to hear you plan on moving and are protecting yourself. If there is a medical reason, the doctors are no doubt searching for it and monitoring him. You however, MUST put your safety and mental health as priority one right now (imho). It is good to hear you are feeling better and less shaky. It sounds like you've had a rough life in your youth dealing with these issues and are sticking to the promise you made to yourself those many years ago. Your life is precious and valuable (sp?). Like you said, one day at a time, baby steps will get you where you need to be! I am happy to hear you have friends who are there for you, that will make this road much easier to travel. ((((Hortensia)))).
Kitten Whiskers
Hi, hortensia. I agree, this by far was your worst week of your life. May it never be repeated. The following was the most loving and brave thing I've seen in a while:
On Wednesday I convinced a friend of my husband to go back with me and a police officer to check on my husband.
You persisted until someone listened, and got your husband where he needs to be. I've had to do that myself, and it is one of the toughest things a person ever has to do.
I have a few family members with mental illness. I'd hate to think that diagnosis or incarceration were the "end" for them. I'd like to hope that your husband gets a good diagnosis and gets placed where he and you will be safe.
I agree your marriage is over. That's sad, of course. But you must be safe above all. Keep doing what you are doing, surrounding yourself with the best of friends. It will be hard, but ladies who have lived as long as we have are used to hard. Deep down you know that this, too is survivable.
I have been rereading all the posts on this thread - they were such a lot of help to me in the midst of all that madness. So here's an update - my husband is still in jail. The judge, defense attorney and district attorney all agree he is crazy and have appointed a doctor to examine him and report to the court. In the meantime I have been going through all his stuff looking for guns - kept finding more guns for a while (even a hand grenade!!!) plus drug paraphernalia. For a week I called the cops every night to pick up more guns and ammunition, even had the bomb squad out at the house because of the hand grenade. However, the drama seems to be over and I believe as do the police that although he definitely is crazy, the cause may be meth or something similar. I have found out he was living a double life, not the person I thought he was. My emotions are all over the place, but mainly I am really really grateful (esp. after the Virginia Tech shooting) that no one is dead. He didn't kill me, he didn't kill the police officer or his friend, and the police officer didn't kill him. Thanks everyone so much for your kindness to me.
((((Hortensia))))
I feel you were very lucky not to be another sad statistic.
Glad it's working out for you, it must still be so hard to come to terms with this. Hope your husband gets some help too.
Best wishes
D
