to found-my-way:
ohhhhh Fred, reading your account of the abuse you suffered just breaks my heart....
I can understand why some therapists would be irritating...there are therapists who understand how you feel about your faith, and will stick to how your childhood shaped the way you think, and was behind your behavior towards others....I can see how you were possibily starved for natural affection....and went about seeking it in an inappropriate way with others....which is understandable, since you were never taught normal interaction, and never given your own personal space and freedom. I could be wrong, so feel free to correct me.
Thanks for the empathy. My situation is more complicated than that, in fact. My parents each had their own view: my dad being critical of those that would try to stand up to his incorrect world view (he always insisted on control), while my mother was too scared of losing us children to the "Government." We were in a non-demoninational Bible study group that didn't produce any of their own literature, other than personal letters, which received little circulation. One would have to have inside knowledge of the group to understand the boundaries I grew up to know.
I just hope that you can understand why so many here have left, and why we loath JW apologists' reasoning, since you cannot see the lies staring right at you, the back and forth doctrines, the lack of love, the absurd abuse requirement of 2 witnesses....which should not be the case when it comes to abuse of any sort, since abuse happens in private and behind closed doors.
I've always lived in a treacherous world. I just have a clearer idea as to what much more of the Bible is about, and I see more accountability among those who lead the flock than I did in the group I was with before. We still live in a time on the Earth when the wheat and the bearded darnel grow intermixed. Only Satan and his demons have been separated from their still-Heavenly former-associates. The spirits still have to be discerned, whatever one reads. Imperfection is still among us, so we're inclined to slips of various kinds, at all levels. Some things seem absurd in a moment of time that years later one sees as the only way that something could get rooted out properly. There's a time for everything under the Sun. "Abuse" depends a lot on the system of thought employed by the subculture(s) involved. Spiritual education and reliance on Jehovah are the only clear paths to freedom from it. Depending on perspective and personality, one person's victimization may be another one's pleasure. There are sado-masochists, after all. Alcoholism and other forms of drug dependency is another form. Political debates and mind games is another. Violent sports is another....
I hope you know that I care about you as a person, and that my love isn't conditional. It isn't based on whether or not you go to meetings. It isn't based on whether or not you even have a belief in God. It is purely based on the fact that you are a fellow human being. No strings attached. No conditions.
You will not find that in the organization, Fred, no matter how much they claim they have that love. By their fruits, they prove that they do not have God's backing or spirit. They have hurt so many people, not just a few, THOUSANDS. If God was behind this organization, God would not allow such heartless men in Brooklyn to bear His name and drag it through the mud as the WTBTS has, and tell outright LIES to its followers.
They are the Pharisees that Jesus soundly rebuked. The burden they place on the brothers and sisters is HEAVY, not kindly and light, like Jesus's yoke.
I wish you could see that.....
I have been shaped by my associations, as you have by yours. Love, to me, isn't acceptance. If it was, I'd accept Satan and his abusive world or much of it. To me, love is acting in harmony with Jehovah God's view, His principles of right and wrong, His knowledge of our varying motives and qualities, His knowledge of our abilities to change and to make different choices than we are used to. I think of Jehovah as the Master artist — we see His systems that produce a never-ending array of clouds and new sunrises/sunsets and lightning and seasons that change our surroundings — sometimes in ways we like, sometimes in ways we might not.
We humans are all like a bunch of toddlers in comparison, forever distracted from the bigger picture with our petty peeves/arguments, even as Jesus' apostles were before Jesus died. Yet, after persecution, with the help of holy spirit, the apostles matured, as can we.
