I would say I am healed and come to this site to read about other's journey and to give hope and encouragement to those finding their way out. I am so grateful to those who have helped me in my journey and want to help others. They need to know they are not alone. I also think it is important for those leaving to have a Christian's perspective because they are many on this board who have lost their belief in God altogether.
How's your recovery from the WTS coming along?
by Frannie Banannie 68 Replies latest jw friends
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Frannie Banannie
Looking at relatives who have wasted their whole lives being pioneers, elders etc, never getting a job, or even having children. They are just reaching the end of the road when it comes to so many opportunities that life allows us. I feel sad for them and angry at their continued foolishness......but really I recognise the anger as with myself for having been so completely stupid myself for so long.
Will I ever let it go? I don't know.
Gill, I get the feeling that some of that sadness is for yourself, too, and rightfully so. Only when you can finally pull away from the whole mess will you be able to let the anger and sadness go eventually. For now, it's a matter of continuously fanning the flames. I'm so sorry. But I think you're doing the best you can in your present situation. My best wishes to you.
Frannie
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Frannie Banannie
I would say I am healed and come to this site to read about other's journey and to give hope and encouragement to those finding their way out. I am so grateful to those who have helped me in my journey and want to help others. They need to know they are not alone. I also think it is important for those leaving to have a Christian's perspective because they are many on this board who have lost their belief in God altogether.
Good for you, lv4fer. But I think if you look a little closer at the posters on this forum, you'll find there's quiet a few that haven't lost "faith." Just ask Little Toe. :)
Frannie
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Gill
Thanks Frannie!! I didn't know it still hurt so much! I can't believe I'm sitting here crying over my 'lost opportunities' and sheer stupidity at having believed all that BS!!
I can sit here now and type 'I'm not recovering!' How pathetic!
I was one of those kids in school who could do no wrong! I was a real 'natural' at everything except for Algebra....(always needed a little assistance there!) I could literally out think everyone, outpaint, draw, write, 'out science' etc. But when I got home I was told how 'stupid' I was every day because my worldly education was 'foolishness in the eyes of God' and I was going to die soon at Armageddon if I didn't pioneer blah de blah etc. I think, if that is literally knocked into you every day of your life, you somehow are forced to believe it, even if you don't 'really' believe it. Did't matter that all my marks were 'A', the sort of thing most parents would give their right arm for....I was Stupid!
I should be looking at the good things now. I have a great husband and great kids...but there is no Me. I'm literally tied down by non ending responsibilities at home. Instead of being happy with what I do have, I still wonder over what might have been, and why we endured twenty years of poverty in our married life when I could have been in a well paid job and we need not have literally gone hungry so often.
I want my 'time' back that they stole from me.
I want the WTBTS and other cults for that matter, to suffer for their lies.
I want TOO much!
Thanks Frannie! You've made me think how as one poster put it, 'with one foot in yesterday and another foot in tomorrow, you end up pissing all over today.'
I really need to get a life and I need to do it before it really is too late!
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Frannie Banannie
You've made me think how as one poster put it, 'with one foot in yesterday and another foot in tomorrow, you end up pissing all over today.'
I really need to get a life and I need to do it before it really is too late!
((((Gill)))) Appears that you're taking that first little step forward. Sounds like you have some "resolve" coming through. Just jump up and grab a chunk of life. It's for living, yanno.
Frannie
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Gill
(((((( Frannie )))))
Every so often I get a memory of how it felt to be a child and that feeling that absolutely anything is possible and I can do anything again.
I just need it to stay with me a bit longer really.
Gill
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Frannie Banannie
Every so often I get a memory of how it felt to be a child and that feeling that absolutely anything is possible and I can do anything again.
I just need it to stay with me a bit longer really.
Geez, Gill. You get that memory, too? Yep, it comes in flashes. Wish we could grab it and put it someplace safe and pull it out when we need it, eh?
Frannie
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Crumpet
Well I don';t often think of scriptures but the one that springs to mind is "He who is standing, beware that he does not fall." Maybe it should read he who thinks he is standing". When I think I am doing really well is when something usually comes along to topple me so I will be cautious in my response to this thread.
I think I am doing quite well. This board and my research have been fundamental to my recovery. I didn't begin recovery until I came here and learnt it really wasn't the truth. And then there was shock and sadness and regret for so much lost life and resentment and guilt and anger and frustration and then a coming to terms with it and the freedom and peace and satisfaction and prosepect of a future ahead of me and oh my goodness what will I do with it. It was like living all my life with a death sentence literally hanging over me and not knowing when and then getting a reprieve and being told you will live long and prosper, but you are going to have to do it without your mum, dad, sisters.
The world is my oyster and I just have to get over long festered fears that have become habit to get on with living. Living is so much more exciting and fulfilling than surviving which is all I have done previously.
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Frannie Banannie
I think I am doing quite well. This board and my research have been fundamental to my recovery. I didn't begin recovery until I came here and learnt it really wasn't the truth. And then there was shock and sadness and regret for so much lost life and resentment and guilt and anger and frustration and then a coming to terms with it and the freedom and peace and satisfaction and prosepect of a future ahead of me and oh my goodness what will I do with it. It was like living all my life with a death sentence literally hanging over me and not knowing when and then getting a reprieve and being told you will live long and prosper, but you are going to have to do it without your mum, dad, sisters.
The world is my oyster and I just have to get over long festered fears that have become habit to get on with living. Living is so much more exciting and fulfilling than surviving which is all I have done previously.
Awww, (((Crumpet))) This is the part that makes me bitter when I think about it. I gave them my young adulthood and middle years and all that's left to me is the Winter of my life. That just chaps my grits when I think about it. Oh, well. I'll worry about it tomorrow.
Scarlett
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greendawn
I completely left long time ago in 1987 when I disassociated and quickly began a new life, all doubts about the WTS were cleared up by 1995 when I got on the internet and checked things out. It became obvious that the FDS was a scum. After that it was not a case of "perhaps they are right after all, they are a sincere moral people that serve a useful role in a godless society". Thereafter it was a case of trying to get even with them by helping people to not get in or to come out of the org.