Stupid Brits!

by nicolaou 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    I prefer the following schoolyard rhyme:
    Mary had a litle lamb she thought it was so silly
    She threw it up into the air and caught it by it's...
    Willie was a sheep dog he sat upon his...
    Ask no questions tell no lies
    I saw a policeman pulling up his...
    Flies are dirty little things!

    Or who can forget the classic "Um Bongo" fruit drink advert:Way down deep in the middle of the Congo
    A hippo took an apricot a guava and a mango
    He mixed them all together and he danced a dainty tango
    The rhino said "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo!"

    Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo

    The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin
    The parrot painted packets and the whole kaboodle landed in
    So when they think of sun and fun and goodness in the jungle
    They all prefer the sunny, funny one they call Um Bongo!

    I don't know why I remember those, but I do

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step
    I prefer the following schoolyard rhyme:
    Mary had a litle lamb she thought it was so silly
    She threw it up into the air and caught it by it's...
    Willie was a sheep dog he sat upon his...
    Ask no questions tell no lies
    I saw a policeman pulling up his...
    Flies are dirty little things!

    I am beginning to fear for the well being of Ms. Xena.

    HS

  • needproof
    needproof

    hahaha! Brilliant

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    In the late 80's I came very close to taking a job in the UK. Went to London, had a great interview (In the Lloyds bldg. as I recall) When I came out of the Bldg. I was deep in thought when I pulled the classic Yank blunder and looked the wrong way when I stepped off the curb. A black London cab stopped just in time (I actually put my hand on the grill!) The driver was pissed, he leaned out the window as I finished crossing and shouted "You bloody well won't do that twice!". I really enjoyed our visits there and my wife and I loved the Brit. people we met and dealt with.

    P.S. After jumping through all the hoops the employer withdrew the offer because of the government requirement that they show they could not find a Brit. citizen to fill the position. Wonder why the US has never bothered to protect their good jobs the same way.

  • needproof
    needproof

    Believe me Gregor, that has well and truly gone down the toilet. You want a job now and you have to compete with 20 different nationalities, and of course, there are 'minority' quotas now.

  • tim hooper
    tim hooper

    "Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly Good golly Miss Molly and boats Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet Jump back in the alley and nanny goats 18-wheeler Scammels, Domenecker camels All other mammals plus equal votes Seeing Piccadilly, Fanny Smith and Willy Being rather silly, and porridge oats A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it You're welcome, we can spare it - yellow socks Too short to be haughty, too nutty to be naughty Going on 40 - no electric shocks The juice of the carrot, the smile of the parrot A little drop of claret - anything that rocks Elvis and Scotty, days when I ain't spotty, Sitting on the potty - curing smallpox --- hehe name that song"


    Ian Dury and the Blockheads / Reasons to be Cheerful (part 3)

    Hmmm...can't find the original video, so here's Phil Jupitus guesting on vocals;

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylvcU3iuUY[/url]

    tim (Brit)

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon
    Every year, it is sunny for three days in a row, and we declare a drought. Every year, we have an inch of snow and the country grinds to a halt. This happens every year, as if we had never seen snow or sunshine before.

    Classic...

    Where do I start? How we are far more liable to lock up woman for offenses a man won't serve jail time for, even if this destroys a family? That's stupid.

    Lighter hearted... in Holland and I believe in the US there are electrical sockets in the bathroom, and light switches. In the UK, the light switches has to be one of those string pulls or outside the bathroom, and only shaver sockets are allowed. Despite the 'safety' this give the Brits, I have yet to see plies of bodies of people who got electrocuted turning on a light-switch with a wet hand in Holland. There's this insane 'nannification' treating people like they are idiots (because even in Britain we have idiots, LOL).

    We pretend like we are still a world power. Our nukes were only ever aimed at France anyway...

    We try hard to ignore all the shitty thing we did in days of Empire.

    We prevaricate, excuse, justify and apologise for stuff that could be fixed if we were bothered enough, or avoid doing anything about it by reminiscing about the Blitz spirit or sucking down some newspaper fabricated scare.

    We allow obscene intrusion into celebrity's private lives.

    Most of us read 'newspapers' I wouldn't put under a cat. Although American journalism can be just as biased, apart from the usual suspects (National Enquirer et. al), it really is better quality on average than any of the traditional tabloids.

    We put up with joke politicians and the divorcing of the voters from any real say in day-to-day politics.

    We pretend we aren't part of Europe, like if we close our eyes and breathe quietly it will go away.

    Despite the fact we know more about other countries than some nationalities, when we visit them we still tend to either be condescending, drunk, surprised at climatic extremes lower than 35 degrees F (0C) and over 70 F (21C), sun-burnt, indolently expectant of everything being like it is at home, combinations thereof or otherwise embarrassing.

    We let Tony get away with it.

    We say sorry too much.

    We suck at at sport every sport we invented. Football. Tennis. Cricket. Rugby. Boxing.

    We don't invest nearly enough in our future (education, research).

    We vote in governments that slash tax for 17 years so we can afford a second car and then wonder why the schools, public transports networks and health service are in such a bad state. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

    You know the Elgin Marbles? That's nothing. If the pyramids at Giza had been a little smaller, we'd have shipped them to the British Museum lock block and mummy.

    I am so traumatised by this list I have to skin up...

    Oh yeah, idiotic drug laws... that too...

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Going abroad and making fools of themselves by having sex in public places in the holiday resorts.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe
    Going abroad and making fools of themselves by having sex in public places in the holiday resorts.

    Oh yeah, I've done that

  • gumb
    gumb

    'Cause they give this country a bad name!

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