My Wife Just Left Me Because of the Evil Watchtower

by rassillon 56 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  lonelysheep

  (((((((((Rasillion)))))))))))
  
  I'm so sorry she can't see your relationship separately from her faith.
• 

  unique1

  I am so sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out for the best and she comes to her senses. I do know many that never will though. Best wishes to you during this difficult time.
• 

  bebu

  (((((((Rass)))))))

  I hope that, like before, she will return.

  And my prayers are for you both.

  bebu
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  ((((((((rassillon))))))))

  I am so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you.

  Take care

  Linda
• 

  drew sagan

  I'm very sorry to hear this. Being that I have gone through a similiar situation I thought I may be able to give you a little advice and encouragement with your struggle.
  
  If your wife is running away from you like this then you really need to pin down the reason as to why she is running. You say she doesn't want to live with a non believer. I think part of the problem may be that you are coming on to strong for her right now. Let me suggest a little bit of what I did in order to gradually help my wife.
  
  First I decided not to share any negative information about the Watchtower untill she was ready, untill I knew she would react in a positive way to it. It took me about 9 months to get to this point. So what did I do during this time that helped my wife even though I didn't actually 'expose' the real truth???
  
  Just about every Kingdom Hall has the same problems, and I believe it is because of what they teach. Since the WTS is so focused on 'works of righteousness' members tend to rip each other apart based on these works. They judge on another, criticize one another, form little groups and divisions against one another, slander one another, the list can go on and on. Because of this many members end up on the 'outside' of the congregation. There are many who have deep depressions. Many have feelings of worthlessness because they can never live up to the standards the WTS sets up for them.
  
  What I decided to do was to focus on these problems within the WTS. I would point out to here things about the talks that where to harsh and how the Elders pushed 'works of righeousness' to much. I basically compared all of this to the gospel of Jesus in the Bible, the writings of Paul and so on. We would have long talks when we got home from the meetings of how the Elders just totally missed the point of the scriptures and how this entire system of 'works' was the main reason why people there are not happy.
  
  Over the cousrse of those many months I was able to pull her away from that system in such a way so that she agreed with me all the way. I encourage you not to focus on the problems your wife is scared with but instead the ones you can agree with.
  
  I don't know much about your situation, but it may be time for you to take a deep breath, relax, and begin a very small and slow process of helpin your wife. This may include going back to meetings if you have stopped. This is not fun and may even take years, I really don't know. Let the love you have for your wife help you put aside all of the things you want in life on the shelf and allow you to put her needs as your #1 priority. Sometimes we (as 'apostate' husbands) can be to anxious to tear down the WTS and forget we have precious and fragile wife who has differant needs than we do. Things just work differantly for them than us and when we recognize this we can make progress.
  
  I wish you the best.
  
  -Drew
• 

  Golf

  It's not encouraging to hear about your situation, it pains me. You made a comforting thought and that is, "...but eventually she comes back and everything is OK."
  
  Whether witnesses or not, couples need to talk things out together and not point fingers as to who is the blame of the situation.. You need to come to some neutral ground to talk and work things out. I know it's easier said then done but what alternative do you have?
  
  I wish you all the best.
  
  Golf
• 

  rassillon

  I would like to thanks everyone VERY VERY much for your expressions.

  Thanks for all the HUGS and you cute girls can give me another one if you want.....

  For those of you who have asked I am ok. Not great but I will manage.

  The expression of my feelings and thoughts to her were not of my choosing.

  It was a PMS trip which got her to leave initally. Then a trusted friend (i don't blame him, he had good intentions) mentioned that I had doubts.

  To a certain point she says she suspected, I am not one who hides his true feelings very well, I guess.

  My intention was to write the WT with my concerns and get responses from them before I mentioned it to her.

  So much for that.

  I am maintaining that I have doubts but she thinks that the demons are in our house and wants me to burn my Vines, Strongs and the like.

  Very wierd.

  Thanks for all the advice,

  -r
• 

  moshe

  Yes,the pain could turn to anger- before you do something rash, talk with your doctor about the stress of your wife leaving- taking some mood leveling drugs for awhile is preferable to harsh words or actions, which will only get your wife sympathy at the KH and leverage in divorce court. While I am at it call the elders and tell them you have done nothing wrong and you want your wife to come home. Let them know that , if they do anything help her destroy your scared marriage that their could be legal repercussions for them. Elders have been knwn to wimp out and send the sister back to her husband.

  God luck friend- been there and survived
• 

  freedomloverr

  ((((Ras)))))
  
  really sorry to hear this.
  
  she sounds really confused and hurt just like you.
  
  much love and peace to you both...
  
  -freedomlover
• 

  compound complex

  Dear Rasillon,

  I am so grateful for the good JWD does, especially in the time of one's desperate need. You were helped WHEN you needed help. While it's not possible to be available nor helpful in every instance, I find that keeping JWD on for long stretches is a very good idea. Electronically we can stay in instant touch with each other, offering comfort and love and cyber-hugs. I agree particularly with Drew's comments, as many of us seem to have been - or ARE - in like circumstances. I know it's fear that drives the wedge, where otherwise there would be loyalty and faithfulness to a mate. I wish the horrid WT stand on "absolute spiritual endangerment" would be tossed into the heart of the open sea. Not in every domestic scenario, perhaps, would we see a glimmer of hope. But I feel it might be in a far larger ratio than we see in Destructo-Dubdom. I have a new life here and it enrages me no end how the Society demonizes what is good:
  
  "He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the righteous,
  Both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD."
  Proverbs 17:15

  NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Reference Edition, 1971

  Love and Peace,

  CoCo